zombie nazi's part 5 a weird meeting in St James Park off the Mall.

The trip to the heart of London was a nervous one.  We had  acquired a large-ish lorry  and filled it up  with all of us and all the equipment we thought we'd need.  There was a huge bag of Cotton wool and  a large amount of speakers of  various sizes,  that we had jerriemanderd  to several mp3 players.  A host of batteries,  some large swords,  and large knives, loads  of guns,  loads  of bullets and shotgin shells and a chainsaw  or two. sat Glan, the two girs,  Angela,  Jordan  Glen and Dark  Steve.  I sat in the front of the truck with Begbi,  Rhinannon Reannon had elected to drive.  She was nervous that we had avoided the poll booth to pay to go through London and muttered about a fine. Meanwhile Begbie who was next to us in the van said  that didn’t matter as fuck we were in a nicked van anyway.
        The closer we got to London, the denser the  zombie-nazi hoard  became. By the time we were in central London  They were everyfuckinwhere;  murmuring and growling and grumbling all in this low meancing noise,   however they were all motionless as if asleep. We managed  to make it all the way to  the Mall,  we pulled over at St James park and  disembarked. It was night, a dark night, as the moon was new. We moved quietly, so not to wake the Zombie-nazi’s who were around us.
     “what’s  wrong with the feckers” muttered Begbie.
       “collective consciousness”  whispered Angela.  They’ll all wake up when Bob awakes.  He  probably can’t sense our presence yet.
        “fair nuff” said Begbie, who then dispatched three  to keep us warm. 
         It has to be said the burning of a zombie-nazi is not a nice odour. There is that stink of burning hair and skin.  If the zombie nazi s fat its worse as the organs inside burst out… its not nice.

 Despite  the fire  It was  cold.  My fingers were numb and the snow was a good inch thick.  It was as I opened the back  of the van that I heard a  the galloping of hooves.  Both I and Begbie   turned around  to see what was coming, and there  and there riding towards us  through St James park was a man in furs  on a  thundering horse.
       Begbie pulled out his gun and was about to shoot, when he stopped.  “no wait.” The horse stopped and a  young man with raven  hair black eyes a narrow face  and tufts of beard  looked towards us.
      “Winter is here.” He said.
       “ I know you…your, your, Jon Snow from Westeros, you canna  be here! This is London and  WE are facing the Nazi-Zombie infestation!” fuck off back to Westeros!"
       “ But I have come with my army of…” he looked around. “oh”
       “ ha ha, yeah, that’s  right, your on your own. That’s what they do there in weteros, they might bow the knee to your face, but when your back is turned,  they’ll  stab you in it like the fuckers they are.”
       “-a  bit like the labour party then” said Angela.
        “-But I have the blessing of the king of Light”
        “-mate, I began  “ you could have the blessing of the entire planet, however, if George R.R. Martin  finds you here finds you here,  we are in big shit!  One,  he could kill us all off just for fun, and two HBO will be well pissed off with our God of light and that will be the end of  nazi-zombies!”
      I was about to continue about the continuity of it all, when,  from above,  we heard this strange scraming howl. It was as if the sky was filled with deamons. There then  followed a sound like the flapping of leather wings.
       Angela  looked up.  “oh  fucking hell!”
       Suddenly Yellow flames lit up  St James park  and an explosion was heard. I could just see St Pauls had become a ball of flame.  Three  Dragons were seen circling in the yellow light.  All around us the zombie Nazis started to stir; Yet they were frozen as if unable to wake up.
        One dragon descended from the heavens and landed heavily.  It leant  its head forward, and  Denerys  Stormborn , yes her with the big  eyes and the  the big, well you know, slowly and seductively started walking towards us
      “Fear not brave men of Britain, I have come to help you with your quest “  She said
      “That’s a nice piece of arse.” Said Begbie.
       “that piece of arse is going to get us into a hell of a lot of trouble” I began.
        “I don’t mind  that sort of trouble” began Jordan, don you think she’d like a bag of weed to share?”
         Both Rhiannon and Angela  were looking deciodedly pissed off, and were glaring at me, as if it were all my fault. Fer fecks sake, as if I can control whats’ going on.  The zombies  were stirring. Quickly Jon snow  hacked one of their heads off.
         “Oh fuck no!” I sighed, and buried my head in my hands, as the zombie nazi went to attack him.  Begbie  finished it off with a lance to its back.
        “chopping their heads off only pisses them off” I said. “keep up with the story will ye?”
         Jon Muttered sorry  as which point Daeneys  stared at him aqutely. 
         “Are you the bastard known as  Jon Snow,?  king of the North and from the house Stark?”  
          He nodded.
         “I am  Daenerys  Stormborn from the house Targarian, Queen of the South  and keeper of the Dragon’s!  We need to get married and have dirty  slutty sex."
          Jon looked down and a bit awkward.  “It’s Its a  a bit rushed isn’t it?  He began “Can we at least help our fellow Brothers and sisters fend of the Nazi-zombie hoard of Great Britian first?”
        “Oh,  err, okay, so don’t you want to have sex with me then?
        “Errum  no,  its  errum,  no, no…not that…Its just a bit unexpected that's all. 
        “Really?  oh come on…surely not…” she giggled gently at that. “Ok, lets help these people out first, then tell me how you feel about it.”
         “Sure why not.” Jon replied.
        “-You lucky bastard.” muttered Begbie “ …I was only some bit character in Trainspotting."
         “Look all of you! Shut the fuck up!” I  pleaded. I stared with fear, rising  as the zombie nazi’s began  to wake up. “This is supposed to be a satirical piece,  about the end of the UK, because of a bunch of fecking  fascists  nazi-zombies take over the county!  It’s not about giving away the last series  of Game of fucking thrones!
         Suddenly   Tyrion  Lannister appeared from behind Danerys   and started  to sing  Space pants killing off a hoard of Zombie nazi’s  at one go.
        “Hey, we could do with him.  He drinks  and know’s  things.”   Begbie   exclaimed,
         “ Look will you all please  stop!” I felt exhausted by it all, but I bellowed loud.  There was a silence.  For the first time ever the  resistance and its new players stared at me.  For the first time  I felt in charge and capable of making a decision. For the first time I would have my say. I opened my mouth to speak but then...

        “-The way I see it” Rhiannon  suddenly  exlaimed “is that you…” – she pointed at Denerys,” and you” she  pointed at  Jon ,  can help  with a diversion, while the rest of us  break into  Buckingham palace...Your majesty?”
         Both Jon and Deneyrs  stared at her.
        “No not the fecking useless   man! Yoiu with  the blonde hair,  Your majesty,  we need a dragon to get us into the Palace." 
   With a nod of her head   Denerys  let  a weird  call, that sounded  like “OI!  get down ere now”  and at once,  one of the dragons flew into the mall and settled  down, squashing about twenty slowly waking nazi-zombies, with its huge feet. 
       Suddenly Denerys grabbed Jon’s hand.
        “come with me you naughty boy.” She whispered  as she ran with him over the waiting dragon in St James park.
         Begbie shook his head as he spoke aloud to the back of  Jon snow. “You  lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky bastard.”
        “Aye that he is.” Replied  Tyrion, after all, he managed to survive the battle of the bastards, did you see that episode ? By the way, I thought I was really great in Season six. The trouble is people always remember the space pants thing.”
        “Oh…you were superb. An don’t worry, here space pants is our secret weapon. You never know you might make it to the end without dying.”  
            "really oh shit.. I haven't  done a death scene in years. .Sorry to see your career has hit a bit of a dry patch”
          “-well its all swings and roundabouts “  Began Begbie, as they both  started to walk towards the dragon.

          Within a moment Begbie, Angela, Glan the kids, Rhiannon  Tryiorn  and I  were all in the sky, flying  on the back of a dragon, in huge sweeping arcs  over Buckingham palace,  ready to defeat Bob  Garage in one last final  battle  to  end the  Nazi zombie  hoard  and save  humanity.