LEZZIE-ASON CHAPTER NINE

"What do you mean, darling?"
The Something had now faded away, leaving me responsible for the crap it had just spouted out.
"Huh?"
"You just said there's someone else who's special waiting for you. I just want to know what you mean."
I took a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard and took a sip.
"Oh, don't take any notice of me. I was repeating something May said earlier."
"Which was?"
"That there's someone special waiting out there for her. I was just thinking about it. I was probably thinking out loud."
"Why was you thinking about it?"
"Well, I was thinking of setting May up on a Date with somebody."
"A blind date?"
"Yes."
"Darling, I don't think that's a great idea."
"Why?"
"Well, let's put it this way, remember my workmate, Paul?"
"Yeah. What about him?"
"Well, remember the time you tried to play Cupid with him?"
"Yeah?"
"It turned out you'd got it all wrong, and the girl - your friend - you'd set him up with, she wasn't his type. The relationship went flat after three hours."
He took another forkful of spag bol. "Honey, do you mind if I take this into the other room? I promised Lisa I'd watch a Disney video next time she stuck one on."
He left the kitchen.
I checked Lisa's burger and chips. They were done. I dished them out on a plate, and put it on the dining-room table.
"Lisa! Dinner!"
"Can't you bring it in here?" Lisa called from the front room. "Ariel's just been turned into a human."
"No, you eat it out here."
"But, Mum, Dad's eating his dinner in here."
I sighed. Then I picked up the dinner plate and took it into the front room. Gerry and Larry looked as engrossed in "The Little Mermaid" as Lisa was. I sat with them for five minutes, when the phone rang. And I got up to answer it.
"Hello," I answered.
"Sarah? Sarah, hi," It was May.
"What is it, May?"
"Lauren's disappeared. I don't know where she is. Can you come over and help me look for her?"
Yeah, sure, I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"Who was that?" Asked Gerry.
"May. Lauren's gone missing. She wants me to help her look for Lauren."
"Look, if you want to go round to May's, just say."
"What?"
"I think you're spending too much time with May. And now you keep making up excuses to go round to her place."
"Gerry, I'm not..."
"Just go, Sarah, don't keep her waiting."
I couldn't believe it! Gerry was acting a little jealous. So what if I was spending my time with May? Wasn't he always down the pub with his workmates, downing pint after pint of bitter?
"I'm sorry you're feeling a little jealous, Gerry, that I've made a new friend, and you haven't got any. But if I want to go to May's, I will. Goodbye!" And I rushed out the door, before Gerry could say another word.

When I arrtived at May's I found her sitting in her sitting-room, talking on the phone.
"...And you will ring me as soon as you find her? Okay. Thank you, Mrs Briggs. Goodbye."
She put the phone down, and turned to me.
"Hi, Sarah. I'm just ringing all the neighbours, asking if they've seen her."
"Have you rung the police?"
"Yes. Fat lot of help they are. I gave them a description of Lauren and they told me they're busy at the moment. And they'll send someone round in the morning, if Lauren's not back yet." She stuck her tongue out. "Busy! Yeah right. They're probably busy playing strip poker with each other."
She sunk her head in her hands. And moaned: "I don't know what I'll do if I never find her..."
"Your ex-husband Tom," I said. "Is he still staying near here, somewhere?"
May looked up. "No," she answered. "As far as I know, he went back home. Why?"
"Oh, I just maybe Lauren could have snuck out to see him. You know, like on EastEndes, when that Squiggle girl snuck out to visit her dad..." May blinked at me, not knowing what the Hell I was talking about.
"Listen, do you want to have a scout around in my car?"
May smiled through her tears. "Oh, Sarah, would you?" She beamed. "Yes, I would. Thanks."
She got up and picked up her jacket. We were headed out the front door, when I heard footsteps and I turned. Coming down the stairs, was Lauren!
I turned to May, who suddenly looked worried. "Well?" I demanded...

Meanwhile...

I was finishing off the last spoonful of spag bol. I was watching "The Little Mermaid" with the kids. I was only watching it because Lisa really likes her Disney DVD's. She'd asked me long ago if I did. Just to keep her happy, I said did. She'd then asked me to prove it by watching one with her the next time she stuck one on. So here I am, watching her latest favourite, "The Little Mermaid."
To be honest, it doesn't seem that bad a movie. The mermaid, Ariel, has got really lovely red hair, and a beautiful sining voice. You know, for a cartoon character, she is quite a sexy mermaid. Much better looking than Daryl hannah's mermaid in "Splash". And Madison was a live-action mermaid!
The phone rang, and Sarah answerewd it. I couldn't hear what was said, because she was in the other room.
"Who was that?" I asked, as she came into the front room.
"May." Answered Sarah. "Lauren's gone missing. She wants me to help her look for Lauren."
"Look," I said. "If you want to go round to May's, just say."
"What?"
"I think you're spending too much time with May. And now you keep making up excuses to go round to her place."
"Gerry, I'm not..."
"Just go, Sarah, don't keep her waiting."
I couldn't believe it! Sarah was being unreasonable. She knows how hard it is for me to make friends. And now she's made one, it's like she's rubbing my nose in it, and saying: 'See, I've got a friend, and you haven't.' Then I remembered. I did have a friend! My lovely Tom!
"I'm sorry you're feeling a little jealous, Gerry, that I've made a new friend, and you haven't got any." Said Sarah. "But if I want to go to May's, I will. Goodbye!
She rushed out the front door, slamming it behind her, before I could say another word.
"What's wrong with Mum?" Asked Lauren, who'd clearly hadn't been listening to a word. "Why was she shouting?"
"Oh, no reason," I pulled a face. "It's just, you know..."
"What, her monthly bleeding?"
"Hmmm."
"Is Mum on the rag?" Larry joined in.
"Larry, please don't use that expression. And don't talk about it, anyway," I said quickly, before Larry could say the 'P' word. I wasn't in the moos to discuss the menstruation.
The phone rang yet again. So I had to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Hello? Hello?"
The voice on the other end kept repeating "Hello?" so I thought it was one of those stupid assholes. You know, the ones who ring up and ask if you're interested in double glazing?
I was just about to put the phone down, when: "Gerry? Are you there? I'm on my mobile because the phones are dead over here."
I relaxed. It was Tom.
"Hello, Tom. What's happening?"
"Oh, you know. It's kind of lonely in this hotel room. I was wondering if you'd like to come round?"
"Not at the moment, Tom. I'm looking after Larry and Lisa."
"oH."
I looked at the time. It was nearly half past nine. "Hold on," I told Tom.
"How long til the end of this film?" I asked Lisa.
"Another ten minutes," came the answer.
"Listen, they're watching a film which will end in ten minutes. When it finishes, I'll lock the kids in their rooms, and come over, okay?"
"Alright."
"Where you going, Dad?" Asked Larry, when I'd put the phone.
"I'm going out with a worknate."
"How long for?"
"I don't know. A couple of hours."
When the film finished, I walked Larry and Lisa to their rooms, and made them swear they'd stay there, and if Mum comes home before I do, that they'll tell her where I am.
I got into my van, feeling excited. Any excuse to visit Tom!

Find out what happens next in Chapter Ten...