The Fifth Star - Chapter 1 (2/2) - Awakening

“You look well,” Rhin remarked as he blushed under her scrutiny. It was only partially a lie; Raven’s age had always been near impossible to discern, and that trend continued now though it had been years since he’d seen her last. Her midnight black hair was only marred with a few scattered streaks of silver, hanging down to her mid-back, but her eyes seemed weary, and the wrinkles on her face were more numerous and more deeply etched in her skin than before.

“As do you,” she commented with a smile, “Quite the handsome young man you’ve grown into since I’ve seen you last.”

“Thank you, mistress,” he responded with a chuckle, then he bowed deeply at the waist. The fresh skin on his stomach protested to his surprise, causing him to hiss with pain; he was glad his face could not be seen for his grimace would surely set her to worrying. Hopefully she hadn’t heard his wordless complaint.

“I’m not your mistress anymore,” she answered, “you don’t have to call me that.”

“Raven, then,” he said with a smile of his own as he straightened. “I’ve a question; what’s with the guard dog?” He nodded his head subtly in the direction of the man who’d stopped him at the door.

“Oh, don’t mind him,” she said with a careless wave of her hand. “A necessary precaution.”

“One that was never needed before, though,” he pressed, sensing there was something she was concealing from him.

To his annoyance, she ignored his comment, motioning for him to take his seat back. “Can I get you anything to drink? On the house, of course,” she asked him, eyes not quite meeting his.

Rhin did sit, but he now knew for a fact that there was something entirely unpleasant going on at his former home. “Ale please, and a piece of bread if I could. I haven’t eaten solid food in weeks,” he said aloud, but internally his heart sank. Years beyond my age passed without Raven ever needing a guard. What happened that she does now? Where is everyone? Raven frowned at the latter part of his sentence but bustled off to the kitchen. His thoughts gnawed at him, countless possibilities throwing themselves at him for his assessment until Raven returned with the ale and bread, snapping him out of his temporary reverie when she spoke his name.

A frothing mug was handed to him and he received it gratefully. Without a second thought he tossed back several swallows to soothe the nervous pit he now felt in his gut. Then he tore ravenously into the bread, knowing it was quite rude but too hungry to give it too much thought, chasing it down with more of the drink. Raven’s eyebrow raised but she didn’t mention his actions, instead sitting across from him in a high-backed chair with her own glass of wine delicately perched in her fingers.

“So…” Rhin could feel the ale burning pleasantly in his stomach and its warmth spreading through his limbs. “Where is Sparrow? I would have expected to see her by now. I’ve something to explain and I don’t wish to do it twice.”

Emotions flickered so quickly across her face that Rhin had no hope of identifying them all. To his dismay, her eyes went hard. “You’d do better to forget her, Rhin. She’s not the same girl you knew.”

“Excuse me?” Rhin was less than enthused with her answer, and stood from his seat. “I think I can judge for myself. Where is she, upstairs?” He moved towards the staircase without waiting for an answer.

Raven’s brow furrowed. The atmosphere was no longer cordial, had switched in a matter of moments. “Sit down, Rhin, or I’ll have my ‘dog’ escort you out. I think we can talk like adults here, don’t you?”

The guard’s attention was indeed fixed on him, and Rhin seated himself before that could come to pass, though not happily. Raven had never threatened him before. Just what was she getting at? His ire was rising, and he couldn’t help the angered tone in the words that followed, “Gods, Raven, just tell me. What is going on?”

Raven took a deep breath and let it out all at once in a heavy sigh. “I didn’t want to have to get in the middle of such things, but alas, it appears I have no choice. I’ll be blunt, Rhin, she doesn’t want you here.”

“That-” Rhin swallowed hard around the lump that instantly formed in his throat, “that’s not possible. I promised her I’d return, she wouldn’t just give up-”

“And why not?” Raven’s tone was self-righteous, angered even. “You made that promise seven years ago and we’ve seen neither hide nor hair of you since. Did you think she was going to wait around forever, when it was so clear you’d forgotten her?”

The accusation hurt, but he tried to control himself from simply storming up the stairs and hearing it directly from her, guard be damned. “I thought about her every day I was in the field. Every day. I’ve never even laid with a woman because I wanted it to be her! I never forgot Sparrow – could never forget. I love her,” he insisted.

“I’m sorry, Rhin, but…” she hesitated.

“What?”

Another sigh. “I shouldn’t even tell you this, but you won’t believe me otherwise. She’s in love, Rhin… but not with you.”

Rhin felt as though a hammer had been taken to his ribcage, the breath knocked clear from his lungs. His heart shattered in that same moment, leaving him with a gaping hole where it should have been. A thousand memories of his sweet, innocent Sparrow assaulted him – curled together for warmth in winter’s harsh climes with no roof above their heads and empty bellies, her excitement when she found the Raven’s Nest brothel and had garnered admittance for herself and Rhin, falling in love and sharing that tender kiss on the rooftop – and even as they came, they were tainted with his current bitterness as they passed through his mind.

His face flushed and he blinked rapidly, holding the tears that threatened to spill at bay. Angrily, he reached over to his arm, wrapped his fingers around the ribbon he’d tied there earlier. With a surge of strength, he ripped it free, the silk separating easily along the spot where he often ran his thumb back and forth over the material – it was an action he’d done countless times that he’d always found comforting, but it would be no longer. Rhin made to throw it at Raven’s feet. He stopped, however, and instead he curled his fist around it, squeezing until the veins on his muscled arms bulged.

“Rhin, I-” Raven started.

“No, don’t. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Just tell me; is she happy?”

Raven’s eyes watered even as she stood and looked deep into his own for a long moment. “Yes. She is. She continues to perform her duties, but she does it with a smile, knowing she’s not alone at the end of it all.”

“And does he deserve her?” Rhin hoped the answer was a no – that he could have some excuse to hunt this man down who had the audacity to steal his love away from him and beat him bloody. If the man in question was kind and gentle, however, he’d not be the worse man and interfere.

Raven said nothing for a time, searched his eyes, though for what he wasn’t sure – then she nodded, once, with finality.

He felt as if he were about to vomit. He was all at once angered, heartbroken, and even a little humiliated. How could I be so stupid? Why would I ever think a whore would wait so long? That she would value the time we spent together as much as I? Instead of exploding, destroying everything at hand just to release his pent up emotions, he pushed them back, wrangling with them until they were suppressed at the back of his mind. With forced calm, he reached out and pulled Raven into a soft embrace, before she could see the tears in his eyes. While he squeezed her, they did finally spill over onto her shoulder. “I wish her the best,” he lied. “Take care of yourself, Mistress.”

Rhin left without raising any fuss, letting the door of his childhood home close gently behind him, and headed back to the castle. There was a storm brewing in his head, but it would need to wait until he was safely alone to be unfettered. It was all he could do to keep it at bay now as he walked the dusty streets, when all he wanted to do was forget the world existed.