Gawd blimey guvnor

Sent to Head Office to confuse a very well know American
company

Excuse me Guvnor,

Being a cockney lad born an bred, the times 'ave bin 'ard.
The old sov's are a bit 'ard to come by these days, in fact I aint got
two ha'penny's to rub together. I am brassic.
So you can well understan' that when I splash out some milk n honey, I
expect to get what I pay's for.

The other night I was down the rub a dub havin a session on the gay
with me old china plate Knockers Johnson. By the time I staggered down
the frog and got home it was well past chopsticks.
Hoping the trouble was bo-peep I crept up the apples but me plates went
from under me. Just my Donald.
Next thing I hear is the troubles Rolls Royce, followed by a slap round
the boat. That was me sparko!

Next day, I recon I should get her a bunch of April so I could get me
wick away again but instead I got her a brand new doings from your
company.
When I gave it to her she was well chuffed, until the do-chatt broke
off. She got her Alan Wickers in a right twist, when chicken and booted
me up the Aristotle. Made me Arnald Palmers pop out. Now I can't have a
Richard without tears coming out me mince pies. And to top it all me
sky rocket's empty!

Anyways, I'm sure you are understandin' me problem mate and obviously,
I need me dough back.
Perhaps I should stick to buying from rainbows and kitchen's in the
future eh!

Cheers me old son.

Ofar Quarson.

Received ?30.00 voucher and apology.