He called out her name

The appointment had been going for forty minutes, but for the last
quarter of an hour Dr McKesson had sat quietly, watching his patient
Helen Peterson cry softly but unabatedly into her hands avoiding his
gaze. The hum of strained sobbing the only sound in the room.

"You need to continue" He spoke sympathetically. " We have an hour, and
only one hour, and we have so much work to do."

The woman released her hands slowly pulling them down over her face,
dragging her tears away. Breathing heavily fighting for composure so
she could continue.

"I apologise Doctor, I feel so ashamed".

"No need, please don't apologise or feel ashamed." He offered her
tissues from the dispenser on his desk. "I just sense that after all
the good work we've done, your crying today is that of renewed
pain."

For the first time really that day their eyes met fixed, yes renewed
pain but also the look of accusation was heavy in those angry black
eyes. He was trained for anger but why was this anger for him?

" Now I get the feeling that whatever it is, I'm getting the blame?"
Eyebrows raised half- smiling he tried to make light, surprised at her
glare.

Wiping her eyes she looked indifferently away, at the walls of pictures
of far off Eastern scenes and English pastoral fields dotted tastefully
around the office, and then she engaged his stare again.

"I was right all along that's why I'm angry, you see I now have a
definite name to go with my suspicions. He is seeing someone else but
that doesn't mean I blame you." Her voice was soft emotional, but full
of conviction.

"I'm glad but I sense your voice and body, aren't conveying the same
message to me?" He replied

"No I don't blame you, I blame him and his phoney commitment to saving
our marriage, I'm angry because he managed to deceive me again, I'm
disappointed because he also fooled you."

McKesson shrugged " I'm not a mind detective, I help people who want to
be helped, if they come here to deceive me there's a good chance they
will, I'm no psychic Policeman, I only read you because you wish to be
read, I help you because you genuinely seek to be helped"

"Still I urged you to believe me, yet you sided with him, men you just
love to play this game" Her voice quivered with emotion.

McKesson sat impassively " I don't play those type of games Mrs
Peterson, and I resent the implication that I do. I remind you that
both your husband and yourself made a genuine commitment to resolve
your issues with my help, latterly however your husband has decided to
seek counsel elsewhere, and as disappointed as I was with that
decision, to me it re-confirmed his commitment. I'm disappointed that
now doesn't appear to be true."

" Doctor I apologise I didn't mean to imply?." She tried to retract. "
You're the only man I really trust"

He looked at her sad dowdy middle-aged face, years of misery and deceit
had eaten away at the good looks of her youth, he genuinely had
sympathy for her, and he pitied her.

"I'm the only man you trust? Yet you hardly know me, I think of all the
men that have touched your life, men you know so well, yet you put your
faith in me and only me, I can't believe that is true"

"It is true, I only wish I'd met a man like you, when I was young and
stupid enough to be looking for my man"

Her eyes glistened with affection; but behind his professional smile
although he pitied her she also repulsed him, by her affection and her
self-loathing and her commitment to defeat.

" We digress, so you say you now have her name, this must be in a way a
relief for you, I don't know if now that's a welcome relief."

She paused at his attempt to deflect her attention; embarrassed she got
back to the main point.

"He called out her name, and then he said he loved her and couldn't
wait to be with her again. I sat in the dark I was alone, listening at
the top of the stairs, I was silent he didn't know I was there, I doubt
if he did, he'd even care".

If he flinched it was the tiniest twitch, and he hoped alarm wasn't
etched across his face, she continued.

" Do you know how many times Greg has said he loved me Doctor?"

He shook his head " I can't guess something like that, but i get the
feeling it's not said often enough for you."

"Never! Is the answer,in twenty years Greg has never said he loved me,
yet he offers it so completely and so quickly to this woman, you are a
man, you know men can you tell me why?"

"There is no one reason, the experience of a decade of observing and
listening to men and women has told me there is never the same reason
to a particular problem, each has it's own subtle nuances, that's the
thing that makes our species so interesting, we're not predictable,
that's why i have a job." He offered lamely

"That doesn't ease my pain Doctor, I've spent Twenty years trying to
understand my husband, and I know he's a liar, selfish and he's mean,
but I don't really know why"

He looked at the clock, thinking why the hell did you stay with him
then? He motioned apolgetically towards it.

"Our hour is up, I'm sorry it ends today like this, but we can come
back at the next session invigorated, hopefully to continue our good
work and build again, i know this has been traumatic, but we can find
strength from this."

As she got up to leave, she noticed a plaque on the wall with his name
DR C.E McKesson followed by a stream of important letters that meant
nothing to her.

"McKesson that's a beautiful Irish name isn't it?"

"Yes it is Irish and I think it's beautiful too!"

"But tell me Doctor, I've always thought your first name was Eugene,
what does the C stand for the one before the E?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you, i much prefer Eugene" He laughed
amiably, she'd never heard him laugh only seen his smile.

"Is it that bad?"

" It's worse, it's worse than you can imagine (and please please don't
imagine) believe me." And they both laughed this time.

They shook hands and said their goodbyes.McKesson let the door close
for a few seconds before he telephoned, after a few ring tones and a
pause the receiver at the other end lifted.

"Hi Greg Peterson here can i help?"

"Hello Greg it's Carroll, i think we need to talk but not on the
phone."