I scream for ice cream...

Deptford High Street at 2:30 on a friday morning is never going to
be a place where you are likely to bump into the great
and the good...they all live several miles down the road in a town
called success but as I made my drunken way home after a
particularly raucous and talentless gig in a local watering hole,I felt
as though I was walking down Millionaire's row. The
beer must have been good because the band hadn't seemed bad and I felt
fantastic. I stopped a couple of times to look into a
few shop windows,as I wasn't far from home and it was a nice night...I
was in no rush! Up ahead,a local trader had parked
his ice cream van by the roadside with an electrical wire leading up
from the roof skylight to a window above one of the
shops... I had seen it there before but this night it seemed a little
odd... As I approached it,I noticed that the serving
window was slightly open and there appeared to be someone in there.
There definitely was a figure lurching around in the
van,piling through the boxes of chopped nuts and sauces... No,wait!
Better yet...there were two ice cold criminals ferreting
around...how dare they plunder the pseudo-italian delights of
Mr.Wallsy???? What kind of monsters were they? I felt it was
time to do something stupid as befitting my drunken state...so I went
up to the serving window,just as pleasantly as you
would on a hot summer's day and said to the nearest one to me," Excuse
me,can I have a '99' please?"... The guy looked up
and the panic that ensued in that tiny ice cream van will stay with me
forever...boxes falling over and the two chilled
chancers leaping out through the window in terror and hot footing it
down the road with nothing but shame and bumped heads
for their troubles. I just stood laughing at them with the disregard
for personal safety that comes from having a good
skinful of beer. I gave the little ice cream dispensing handle a quick
tug and got some of that sickly goo on my fingers
which I licked off and then I shut the window of the van. I walked home
even more light of heart,knowing that I'd just had
the perfect end to a fantastic evening...