It's Mimms O'Clock

It’s Mimms O’Clock!

Alright Dad!
You know the score
Thirty degrees and grandma’s is still three hours off
Kids kicking up a fuss in the back
The missus has got the camel
There’s crisps all over the upholstery
someone’s pissed themselves
there’s Umbongo going everywhere
And you’re shouting …

Sharon you donut, you fucking Jaffa cake,
you hobnob, you stupid pink wafer biscuit sweetheart
shut those kids up I’m trying to negotiate the roadworks at junction twenty five
And why do we have to listen to Steve Wright in the afternoon
I tell you If he plays one more Bee Gees record
I’m gonna shove Massachusetts right up his arse …

And then you see it like an oasis
A huge, beige bricked, neon lit oasis
An oasis that sells burgers and petrol
And porcelain figurines
A watering hole, a roadside tavern, a plentiful dry dock
And you’re thinking three of them one of me
It’s must be Mimms O Clock

So Goodbye Moto Welcome Break
Come rest your right foot without risking death
Vat of coffee, a piece of cake
Gulp a lungful of that gasoline breath

Unstick your crotch from the seat of your jeans
Come beat out a rhythm on our steal latrines
Come withdraw your money from our cash machines
We’ll charge one seventy five

Doesn’t it feel great to be alive?
Watching obese pre-teens
tuck into a family feast each
like happy shoppers with the contrast of a cloudless sky
It must be Mimms O’Clock

Come swing your cock
With truckers, travelling salesmen, national express patrons
And holiday makers wearing sandals with socks
green light indicates minutes till next inspection
red light means it smells like piss

yes kiss me quick and squeeze me quicker
the petrol forecourt just got slicker
it’s Milton Keynes but even shitter
It must be Mimms O’Clock

Well the M25 was just chaos but then you expect it be to chaos so we always leave plenty of time just in case, don’t we dear? Because there really is no alternative, is there? Sure you can shoot up the A10 to Hartford and down the A440, taking M1 southbound and rejoining at junction 21. After all they keep saying they’re going to widen it there; you could get an extra lane if you knock down that primary school? But whatever happens you still have all that nonsense from 17-19, don’t you? So you might as well just grin and bear it and besides we do like nipping off at junction 23 for a cup of tea at South Mimms
It’s Mimms O clock

Two hours free parking two hours to stop
Wander empty bladdered around our shop
Run your hands along the rows of glossy packs and fizzy pop
Press your sunburnt cheeks against our bottled water
Lie star-shaped on the bonnet of someone else’s Porsche
Fall in love in KFC with someone else’s teenage daughter
This is Mimms O’Clock

And as the sun sets over the m4 in the western sky
Like the glint of nine lives wasted in a faded cat’s eye
The London orbital is a clock face with minute hand broke
There’s no detail in the endless hours it evokes.