Just When I'd Got My House The Way I Wanted It

Just When I'd Got My House The Way I Wanted It by Neil McCall

Just when I'd got my house the way I wanted it ?

?Alina Reyes was in the kitchen, cutting up the meat for dinner ?

?Anne Rice was in the bedroom, chained to the bedframe and wiggling
futile pentagrams with her big toe ?

?Anais Nin was in the freezer, I'd get her out and defrost her on
special occasions ?

? then in barged Jackie Collins. She grabbed the kitchen knife and
salami-sliced my manhood in revenge for my two-timing with her
sister.

Now I'll have to put it up for sale.