Sharing noises

Life conspired to force me back into shared housing. It wasn't
something I thought I would have to experience as an adult, but here I
am living with 3 other people in south London at the age of 31. But we
are not alone, high house prices in London mean that more and more
grown up professionals have to share in their 30's. When I ran Homing
In, a business dedicated to finding people suitable house shares, I met
hundreds of people in a similar position. Many of them had split up
with partners and suddenly found their renting capacity halved. Or like
me they had come back from overseas to find all their friends married
and mortgaged to the hilt. The hilt in London being a very high place
indeed.

There are problems coming back to house sharing after time living
alone or with partners. Not only the washing up issues and bathroom
sharing. The first time around as students we were all used to having
to keep it down after living with our parents. Now we are older and
more comfortable with our sexuality no one seems to see any need to
keep their private noises private. After 2 successive houses where I
have endured the grunting and moans of amorous couples getting jiggy
together, I no longer find the soundtrack to sex attractive, even when
I am involved! Now the sound track on a porn movie just conjures up
images of my studious flatmate banging his girlfriends head against the
head board. Due to our land lords' flagrant lack of concern for
planning regs, this is also the person who I hear weeing in the
adjacent bathroom every morning whilst I fix myself a juice for
breakfast. These aural images are getting confused and now the sound of
sex makes me need a wee. A fact that could be a real problem were it
not for the fact that I am too frightened of being similarly overheard
to bring anyone back to mine anyway.

What is the etiquette on overhearing other people's sex lives? When I
am trying to sleep and they have been reaching a pitch which will soon
be upsetting dogs I am often tempted to shout encouragement. I have
defiantly wanted to applaud when it's over, just due to the sheer
relief at the silence. Also do you pretend not to have heard, not walk
past chatting to other people during the act for fear of putting them
off their stride? Do I have to explain to them as they crawl out
sweating towards the shower afterwards why I am in the kitchen in
fluffy ear muffs?

But overall maybe this middle stage between living alone and living
with a partner is a good thing. Living alone for too long can breed
intolerance in the extreme, this way you are forced to learn to live
with other peoples mess and funny habits to such a degree, that should
I ever cohabit again with a loved one, it should seem like a breeze. At
least then I am allowed to say what bothers me, allowed to some degree
to be the interfering maternal type I really am. Not being able to tell
a flatmate that their toothbrush really needs changing, or that a diet
of toast and marmite isn't good balanced nutrition, drives me crazy.
Whilst I want total anonymity from them, I still long to meddle in
their lives. Which probably bring me to the crux of the issue, they may
be keeping me awake at nights and causing tension to bubble away under
my scalp like a pan on the boil, but it could be worse. I could be them
having to live with me.