Virgin Soldiers

Virgin Soldiers by Neil McCall

Fortifed with cans of Tennent's, empties in array
Waving scrawny arms like pennants, saltires o'er the brae
They ruled the rolling Virgin roost, and marred the quiet
carriage
And one young girl was soundly goosed, another offered marriage.

But, lo! There rose an army from the travelling merchant bankers
Though they deemed it rather barmy to confront the Scottish
wankers
Ignoring tartan toughies' taunts to prove that they were hard
They sloped off to the buffet, and protested to the guard.

Solitude through Stafford; quietness at Crewe
Never have so many owed such silence to so few
And what of those Glaswegian neds in Rangers shirts and jeans?
The bravehearts got arrested by the police at Milton Keynes.