Fucked Up Love Story

She had the whole wide world in her wild crazy eyes, whereas his contained only despair, thus they were not meant to be. Unless he changed. Would she be able to help him change? He hoped so. (Just being in her company caused his aura to glow.)
     Her name was Anette, his name was Nez - she was unnaturally hyper and enthusiastic, he was a lethargic stoner.
     They met in the park in the pouring rain - both walking alone. Her happy, enjoying
the water on her face - him fucking up, on a self-destructive bender.
     Nez had decided that day that he had had enough, and was going to put his warped and twisted fantasy of OD-ing on acid and committing suicide in the park into practice. Nothing in particular had led him to this decision - nothing but everything.
     But then he set eyes on Anette, lying sprawled out in the centre of the wet grass lawn, just staring upwards - a big smile on her face.
     He looked at the handful of LSD tabs he had been all set to pop, and put them in his back jeans pocket - that could wait.
     “Hey,” he called over to the rain drenched Anette “are you hoping to drown or what?”
     She picked herself up - the smile remained on her face - “No,” she said “I’m simply being insane in the rain.”
     He laughed at this - “Excellent.” - it was the first laugh since he could remember, but he didn’t register this.
     “I’m Nez,” he said, going forth to formerly shake hands. She introduced herself - “Anette.” They shook.
     She noticed he was very shaky - he noticed that she noticed. “The shakes,” he mumbled “I do a lot of drugs”, and that was that.
     They sat down on a bench. The rain continued to pour.
     “Do you live in the city?” he asked her. “‘Fraid so,” she replied, “And you?”
     “Not for long,” he told her. “Oh, you’re moving?” she asked with interest. “Suicide,” he said. She laughed at this.
     “Yeah,” he continued “I’m gonna take twenty LSD tabs, go completely crazy, and kill myself right here in this park.”
     Anette laughed again, and even louder - he’d never realised that he was so funny. But he wasn’t offended.
     “I’m crazy already,” she admitted to him, “I don’t need no LSD.”
     “I’m crazy,” said Nez seriously, “I lost it years ago. I’m a fuckin’ headcase.”
     “But crazy’s kinda cool,” laughed Anette crazily, “Just as weird is wonderful! Personally I like to freak!”
     Nez was intrigued by her alternative personality - he wondered was she a druggie like him? He asked her straight out, “Do you do other drugs?” She said, “Not really. The occasional spliff.”
     He took a pre-rolled from his pocket and sparked it up despite the rain. Took three or four lugs, then passed it on to Anette. She nodded - ‘Cheers’ - and toked on it. They sat and got stoned in the rain.
     They remained in touch - they both lived in the city - Nez didn’t bother tripping out and checking out that rainy day after all. They met up - usually on a Sunday afternoon - in the park, which would always be empty but for them no matter the weather.
     They would smoke cannabis, or sometimes get drunk, or occasionally go normal, though Nez was always fairly fucked up anyway from the vast amounts of drugs he was consuming throughout the rest of the week. Sometimes he would seem very distant and drift off into his own little world
beyond reach. Other times he would babble incoherent bullshit (speaking in tongues almost). Either way, his condition was worsening - he was starting to freak Anette out.
     And he knew it.
     I’ve got to change, he told himself, or I will lose her, and she is special. But he couldn’t bring himself to cut down on the drugs.
     She was like a drug to him - the ultimate drug - she didn’t know it, but she had stopped him from taking his life. (Yeah, he reckoned he would definitely have done it.)
     When a week went by without Nez seeing Anette he said to himself ‘She must have a cold or something - I’ll see her soon’, but the following week again she was absent from the park and his life. And the week after - and the week after that - a whole month without hearing from her. She had his number, he didn’t have hers - “I don’t have a phone,” she had said, but a little unconvincingly he reckoned now. He felt he had justification to be paranoid.
     He contemplated the acid suicide idea again - it no longer seemed so exciting - he didn’t care about anything. He was drained of all thinking - even the imagination to top himself. What a slump he was in.
     In the mornings he would wake up and hope he could pick himself up - get himself together. But by breakfast he would be drugged out of his mind again, and oblivious to everything.
     Anette all this time was in a mental institution- unable to make any phonecalls from her padded cell. And kept almost as out of it as Nez by her daily pills and injections. She had even been threatened with electroshock.
     She dreamed of Nez - Nez dreamed of her - they both dreamed of being free in the
rain.
     But it was not meant to be.