The Ghost of Schrödinger's Cat

Freddy was blown away. By his own doing quite possibly, a suicide. God knew he had envisioned ending his life before, and he chain smoked still, whilst knowing all the dangers to health involved. As a result his ghost walked the earth in an endless cycle of journeys in limbo between heaven and hell, playing, as an actor, the roles of his various personas. He mistook this Imax experience style virtual reality to be his still steadily ticking away human life. His perceived human being vessel appeared to be getting older though, and many of his friends, family, loved ones appeared to be getting older also - some in very ill states - all, apparently, dying. Eye, the director and projector of this real time VR movie, the One behind Freddy's sense of an I, and all the other characters' Is, was unmercifully cruel with its art at times, running all the cast and crew through the proverbial Hell mill and killing off all of its stars. The results, with lives and careers in this movie all constantly at stake, were often spectacular for getting the players so invested in their roles, and it put them through the full gamut of scenarios - happy, sad, bittersweet, humorous and serious, for differing Oscar worthy performances of emotions.
     At its core however, with all the characters inevitably dying, this movie, for those believing in death and dying, was a tragedy. 'If you are going through hell, keep going' was the best advice to cope with life - and death - on set, and hope for better working and living conditions for all in the next sequel. This after all, was always midway through an infinite reel of movies in a never-ending franchise. Freddy remained in this particular movie because he still had loved ones here, but they were unable to stop him from killing himself daily, or being killed each day by such a cruel concept as death looming over all of their heads. Self harming with the smoking, drugs and drink because, if going to die anyway, and lose all these loved ones by their dying too, then why the hell not. God knew Freddy had questioned God and his ways of creation, giving life to take it away, on more than a few occasions.
     When trying to stop his bad habits and live healthier, Freddy had felt the pain and emptiness of being a ghost. Be it food, nicotine or other drugs, he was always trying to feed a hungry ghost, to keep it satisfied enough to not be haunting him. A dissatisfied hungry ghost wouldn't let him sleep, for all the guilt he felt over harming, or not being there enough for, others - over suiciding if that's what he had done or what he was doing. Ad infinitum.
     Freddy feared his memory being wiped going into his next movie - having the same amnesia of it as the early parts of his life in this - not recognising his loved ones from this movie again in the next. Wanting to recognise them again in the same familiar and loved roles even if always the same cast, and spirit, born again and again into different vessels. Freddy feared himself and his loved ones all being dead. Ghosts. One ghost.
     He made himself another sandwich. He rolled himself another joint. He blew himself away again with another bullet to the head. Ad infinitum, or at least seeming ad infinitum for this impermanent role in this impermanent movie dream. Impermanent because non existent - a mirage. He wanted them all to be alive, forever - real and not mirages, not dead - but he had to accept the reality as it was, not what he wished it to be. The evidence suggested that they were both. A lot for Freddy to take in. Hence he was blown away - into infinite shards of the same hologram mirror, all journeying on in their states of separated limbo.
     From darkness to light to darkness to light, occasionally, if getting lucky, able to experience the full illumination of The Pure Light. Able to see everyOne alive or dead (or potentially both alive and dead) again properly here in the light of that. Like the sun coming up after an all night rave in a field to discover all one's tribe of family and friends are there and have been there all through the night. Too bad this state, like all the others, also had to be impermanent. Freddy had gone to Buddhist retreats and experimented with magick and mind altering substances in the hope of reachieving this clear vision, but managed only a few weeks of linear time enlightenment here and there at best before it was gone and forgotten again like a faded dream or a sunny day covered by the fall of night. He knew though that he had been blown away by what he had seen each of those times, and that it was good.