Same Old Mess

Friday night.
And I find myself in the pub
A pint by my side
With myself for company 
Staying here when last orders rings
Alone on this stool for one.

So I scroll through Facebook
A decision I wish I never did in the first place
As I scroll through 
I read how my friends have left home in the past
And begin a fresh start in university
Or too eager to sleep
As they await for that new chapter
In their lives.

Even past fellow athletes
Ones who I beat back in the day
Competing at their peak
At a national level

I turned off the screen
Before taking a moment to look at myself
In this same old mess
What the hell happened?

Because I was promised 
A golden opportunity
That will make me a better person 
Than those whom I know.

Yet here I am 
Doing the same thing as I do
Drinking
Smoking 
Sleeping 
working
Before repeating
Once again

And all the time i ask myself every time
How the hell did this happen?

So I say goodbye to my friends
To their fresh start in life
Before drinking myself drunk

And say to those who promised me the bright future

"I beg to differ? I thought this was for better...

...not worse"