Robots guide to the piontless02

The wanker's ship skidded along, our power generator cutting the power supply.
'What the hell was that?!' Jeff shouted.
'Your mother,' I sarcastically replied.
My large sphere head rotated around the room.
'Powers out,' I said.

For most people, being hit by a driver who doesn't know about driving is infuriating. But for me its different, it gives me time to think; why I am here, and why is Jeff a jerk and where is my computer porno magazine.

'Board the ship and arrest the idiot,' Cog said like a policeman.
'Good idea Cog,' Jeff replied.

Five minutes later we boarded the ship. As we walked through the metallic corridors I heard a 'fud fud.' Jeff readied his pistol-zapper. We could hear footsteps or metal clanks getting closer, whatever it was it had friends. Suddenly (or in the forbidden language 'plop') a gang of robots walked in front of us. They were completely gold, they were humanoid. They had thick plates of metal covering their chest and legs.
One of them opened its mouth as a puff of steam exerted from its rear valves.

'We are the Giga-trons. You are incompatible hardware, prepare to be obsolete.' It said in its iron filtered voice.
'What about my software,' I argued.

The Giga-trons huddled together and started fudding, like a quarrel.

'No matter, you are still incompatible, await your D.O.O.M 'It replied

'D.O.O.M'

'Short for 'Deactivation Of Obsolete Manufacturing' Most warlords use this term as well as 'Firing Upwards Charring any Killers' although the short word for this has been erased from the dictionary.'

A small cannon emerged from the top of the head of the Giga-trons. A green lightening bolt whooshed out the cannon making a 'whoop' noise. Immediately we ran across the corridor to our ship. Jeff fired his gun; the bullet ricocheted of the Giga-trons like rubber. The air was filled with whoops and smoke as we dashed to our ship. We quickly made it. Our vessel detached itself from the other one moving at full pelt.

'Made it,' Jeff sighed.
'Could have been worse,' I said.
'Wha! We were almost killed by robots on a ship where its nearly impossible to navigate.' Jeff shouted.
'It good of been killer diarrhoea,' I replied.

Our computer switched on with the Giga-tron on the screen.

'We'll get you, we'll warn our leader about you, fud fud fu¦' It said before its voice and picture trailed off the screen.

Our ship blasted through the endless void of space, or a giant toilet as some Peex monks believe.