AFTER MADNESS - CH 1:1 - I Don't Like Crowds.

I am primarily a person who wants to inform and to be informed. I like to discuss and argue points in order to get to some semblance of knowledge. I'm a person with crap short-term memory and sometimes I have too much to drink and ramble on or repeat myself. I have no problems about religion - I don't believe in it - but I respect other people's right to believe. Hypocrisy is the world's biggest enemy and political correctness is my pet hate. I write poetry, verse and blogs.

What I write is about real stuff. I am not a romantic poet.

People have called me mad since I was a toddler. I believed them, after all they were my family - or so I thought. I cracked up completely in 1996 after I was set up for a drugged sexual assault by people I had considered friends. That was perhaps the hardest lesson for me to learn. Someone like me has very few friends. As someone who spent a long time thinking they were ugly it came as a big surprise to me to find out that it is not true. I am in fact rather good-looking and have a good figure too. To make it worse I have good legs and cute tiny feet. My hair is so thick that people think I must perm it to make it stick out so much - no. Its wavy too which still surprises me as Margaret, my 'mother' always told me I couldn't grow it because it was straight. LIES!!!

My life was composed of lies from a very early age. I witnessed a murder. A woman who tried to save me was killed, in front of me and a crowd of fucked up weirdos. I think she was my real mother but I shall probably never know the truth. I think her bravery and refusal to bow framed my behaviour over my entire life. I really believed in Death Before Dishonour. I grew up so English you could write a book about it but underneath there was always the knowledge of death and how easily it comes.