Cognitive Dissonance

"That bag weighs a ton, what on earth have you got in it?"

"Knives."

Pearl felt her heart jolt, but carried on chatting in her usual friendly tone, taking a gulp of her wine.

"Knives?"

"Yes, they're antique. Would you like to see them?"

Something, perhaps her inner voice, told Pearl to say no: it was quite emphatic.

"No, thanks."

Andy laughed.

"Good job. I might be tempted to use them."
.........................................

Pearl had met Andy through her mum, but not in the way you might expect. Not for Pearl's family something as ordinary as a blind date or polite introductions at a party. This was a set up. The object, revenge, not romance.

It all started on a family outing to the Safari Park. Chosen for its associations with childhood treats, it was a reunion for Pearl and her mother. They had been estranged since Pearl reported her father to the police for the horrific abuse he'd inflicted on her throughout her childhood. Her mum, livid, said she should just let things lie and her step-father had called her a vigilante.

On the way home, Pearl's mum had decided that it was of vital importance that they stop at the next town to view the river. They parked the car and Pearl walked with her mum and step-dad, up the steep road alongside the river, heading towards the bridge on the crest of the hill.

"Let's have a look in there," said mum, gesturing towards an antiques shop across the street.

Pearl agreed readily. She loved rummaging around junk shops. This was no junk shop though: it was full of beautiful antique furniture, the honey tones of the wood polished to a sheen. They were priced far beyond the reach of Pearl's meager wage.

She wanted to leave, feeling uncomfortable among such expensive items, but her mum and step-dad hovered over a mahogany sideboard, although Pearl couldn't understand why: they would have no room for it in their cramped flat. Pearl's mother turned and exchanged looks with the man behind the counter and then directed Pearl to a display of antique costume jewellery in the corner.

"That brooch has your name on it," she said.

Pearl had to admit that the brooch, a vintage bouquet of enamel flowers, was exactly to her taste. She was surprised to find that she could afford it.

The young man looked expectantly at Pearl as she approached the till. She wasn't really used to male attention, being quite plain and dowdy, but the man seemed to be interested in her.

"Let me give you my business card," he said, as he handed her some change.

It was easier to take the card politely, than to refuse it, so Pearl popped it into her purse.
Once outside, her mother asked to see the card and so Pearl reluctantly fished around in her handbag for it.

"Oh look, he's on twitter," said mum, underlining the name with her chubby index finger.

"You'll have to tweet him."

Pearl had no intention of doing so, but over the next few days, her mother made so many mentions of the 'nice young man in the antiques shop', that she decided to check him out. His tweets were pleasingly ordinary and so Pearl followed him, quickly receiving a direct message in return.

Their online relationship soon escalated from direct messages to lengthy emails, revealing intimate details of past hurts, dreams and aspirations. Pearl felt that they had become intimate through their correspondence and longed to meet with him.

For a couple of weeks, they shared cosy dinners in country pubs and Pearl found Andy charming and funny. She felt newly awakened by her relationship with him, an unfamiliar feeling of light girlishness came over her when they were together.

After a few of these meetings, Pearl, emboldened by wine, invited Andy into her home. He spoke gently to her as they sat on the sofa, caressing her hypnotically with his words and soothingly stroking her hand.

"Will you stay the night?" she asked nervously.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he responded. "I'll just get my things from the car."

Pearl was slightly taken aback by the holdall. Andy left it on the floor in the living room and suggested they fix themselves a drink.

"You go and sit down. I'll carry these through," said Andy, as he poured the red wine into the two glasses on the kitchen worktop.

In the living room, Pearl tested the weight of the bag. It gave a metallic clank as she set it back down. She felt perturbed, but shook off the feeling as she returned to the sofa.
....................................

"That bag weighs a ton, what on earth have you got in it?"

"Knives."

"Knives?"

"Yes, they're antique. Would you like to see them?"

"No, thanks."

"Good job. I might be tempted to use them."

Pearl felt panic rise within her. Her confused mind grasped for a benign explanation.

"What do you mean?"

Andy grinned and looked Pearl in the eye, but his eyes were hard, not smiling. She felt like he could read her mind. She took another drink of her wine.

"Have you ever heard of cognitive dissonance, Pearl?"

Pearl felt the strength drain from her limbs, her energy seeping from her fingertips. Andy held her gaze and started counting backwards.

"Ten, nine, eight..."

Then darkness overtook her.
...............................

Pearl came to. She knew she was no longer on the sofa. Her body felt numbed and leaden: it was impossible to move. She recognised her lampshade and the crack in her bedroom ceiling. It gave her a fleeting sense of comfort, but then Andy’s face loomed into view. It seemed distorted. Her vision was in focus but jumped and jerked as though there was a delay – things jolted in and out of view alarmingly.

She heard a voice, gruff and coarse. She knew it belonged to Andy, but it sounded so different. It shocked her. How could she have been so stupid?

He burst into her field of vision again, a mobile phone pressed to his ear.

“Are you sure I can’t kill her now? She’s really fucking boring me.”

He pushed her knees apart and leered: she sensed then that she was naked. Pearl was overwhelmed with fear: her breath came quickly in shallow gasps, her heart racing.

Andy held the phone in front of her eyes. Her father’s name was illuminated on the display.

Andy cackled at the shock on Pearl’s face and asked her mockingly:

“Want to speak to Daddy?”