Paul is shit in bed

We all know the routine girls,
You sit their curling your curls,
We stand here
Drinking our beer
We move forward
You move back
We move closer
You think we’re posers
It’s not a competition
We don’t need your permission
Don’t be sour
Just open your legs
And give me an hour.

I never noticed over there
I swear
The rack on that
Could make any man splat
I’d rub’em and squeeze
And clean them and feed’em
And make’em feel loved
When I take ya from above.

The moment is neigh
The hour is now
Removing ya thong
And feeling all strong
Don’t worry baby,
Sit back and relax
I’ll lead the way.

But you should count your blessings
When you’re undoing her dressings
That you’re not going to do
When ya giving her the screw
So bad as Paul
Not just because he’s small.
No the ladies know Paul
Not just because he’s tall.
No the ladies remember Paul
Because Paul,
Is shit in bed.

If it’s your first time,
When you’re worried it’s not your prime
Don’t worry about a thing
If it’s your first fling
Because they’ve all done Paul
And he is shit in bed.

He’s be all smooth
The way he makes you soothe
He’s nice strong arms
Not his man arm though,
Just to point out
It’s like a little sprout
That would make any woman chuckle
And his small suckle.

He can’t keep rhythm
He can’t stay still
The boys a bastard
He should give up now
And save some women an hour
He’d act all tough
Think he’s all hard
But when he got hard
I doubt you’d notice
After a few minutes
The ladies would stop and say
“Is it in yet?”
Oh the shame on his face
When he’s already half way through
Why does he try?

So when you’re pulling down those knickers
Don’t worry about it,
Because we all know they’ve done Paul
And compared to Paul
You’re a God in bed.
So just relax and chill
Feel the thrill
Forget about it
When poking that slit
Paul’s been there
And he is shit.