Swamp Monster

I am a cockney swamp monster
What lives down by the Thames
I deserted my swamp a while back, see
Deserted my swamp monster friends

Now I swim down by the South Bank
Swipe tourists and crunch 'em all up
Bite the heads off little skateboarders
And drink Thames-water from my cup

Sometimes I climb up Tate Modern
And peer right down the chimney
I hide under London Bridge
And do a MONSTER wee

I grab red buses off the roads
Grind 'em to dust in my claws
And those funny old bendy buses
Well, I just rip 'em in half while I roar

If I am feeling posh
I make my way to Henley
And troff down some of those posh boys
With names like Rafe and Henry

No-one is safe from this swamp monster's wrath
No man, woman or child
I need to get back to the swamp I think
Back out into the wild....