Everything to Prove to the World Something: Selected Verse and Lyrics 3

London as the Lieu

 

Until recently, I had the impression

Of decaying

Along with the moral standards 

Of contemporary Europe, 

With London as the lieu 

To which all Autoroutes lead.

                                                                    

In my room, I was surrounded

By debris

Of my existence,

Lacking the will even to clear

The carpet, whose colour,

Incidentally I came to forget.

                                                                    

I ceaselessly tampered with my hair,

Growing it long,

Having it cropped, hennaing it red,

Dyeing it blue-black, bleaching it near-white;

It fell out in bunches,

Desiccated and exhausted.

                                                                    

My face grew sallow and haggard,

With bloodshot, inflamed,

Glazed, blue-ringed orbs, 

And bitten, bloated, ravaged lips.

My body lost its athletic aspect,

And became shapeless and emaciated.

 

Lone Birthday Boy Dancing

 

Yesterday for my birthday,

I started off

with a bottle of wine...

I took the train

into town...

I had half a bitter

at the Cafe de Piaf

in Waterloo...

I went to work

for a couple of hours or so;

I had a pint after work;

I went for an audition;

after the audition,

I had another pint

and a half;

I had another half,

before meeting my mates,

for my b'day celebrations;

we had a pint together;

we went into

the night club,

where we had champagne

(I had three glasses);

I had a further

glass of vino,

by which time,

I was so gone

that I drew an audience

of about thirty

by performing a solo

dancing spot

in the middle

of the disco floor...

We all piled off to the pub

after that,

where I had another drink

(I can't remember

what it was)...

I then made my way home,

took the bus from Surbiton,

but ended up

in the wilds of Surrey;

I took another bus home,

and watched some telly,

and had something to eat

before crashing out...

I really, really enjoyed

the eve, but today,

I've been walking around

like a zomb;

I've had only one drink today,

an early morning

restorative effort;

I spent the day working,

then I went to a bookshop,

where, like a monk,

I go for a day's

drying out session...

Drying out is really awful;

you jump at every shadow;

you feel dizzy,

you notice everything;

very often,

I don't follow through.

 

Lovelorn in London Town

                                                             

From morn to friendless night,

He tramps the streets,

Just in case he might

Come across her, he's a tragic sight,

But he doesn’t care,

Love gives him might,

He haunts the cafes and the discos

And the bars, so lovelorn.

                                                             

He knows that he won't find her,

But he's got to keep on trying,

It gives some meaning

To his life,

It gives some substance

To his time,

It is his motive, and his project,

And his plan, so lovelorn.

                                                             

He only met her once,

But it changed his life,

And it changed his type,

And it changed his mind,

And he threw it all up,

As if he'd gone insane,

And he took to the streets,

And another man was born.

                                                             

They say love comes but once

For some, but when it does,

It's like a mighty

Atom bomb inside,

A disease that seizes

A gentle soul,

And if it comes for you,

You'd better try to hide.

                                                             

From morn to friendless night,

He tramps the streets

Just in case he might

Come across her, he's a tragic sight,

But he doesn't care,

Love gives him might,

He haunts the cafes and the discos

And the bars, so lovelorn.

 

My Travels

 

My travels start 

Right here 

Deep in my mind

My travels take me just where

I please I don't have 

To leave my warm room

 

My travels start 

Sixteen sun

Beating down

Sinatra's crooning Jobim

And I'm just dreaming of my

Great romance to come

 

I don't need a little ticket

Tells me I can take the train

I don't even to risk it 

There's no blistering sun 

Or driving rain

And it's here that I remain

 

My travels end 

With a sweet 

And peaceful time

I've found such sense deep within

No more will I feel 

The need to go travelling again.

 

My Life Story

 

my life story 

is littered 

with the ghosts 

of golden 

opportunities gone.

 

Oblivion in Recession

 

The legs started going,

Howlings

In my head.

Thought I'd go,

Kept awake with water,

Breathing,

Arrogantly telling myself

I'd stay straight.

Drank gin and wine,

Went out,

Tried to buy more,

Unshaven,

Filthy white shorts,

Lost, rolling on lawn,

Somehow got home.

Monday, waiting for offie,

Looked like death,

Fear in eyes

Of passers-by,

Waiting for drink,

Drink relieved me.

Drank all day,

Collapsed, wept;

"Don't Die on Me."

Next day,

Double brandy

Just about settled me,

Drank some more,

Thought constantly

I'd collapse;

Then what?

Fit? Coronary?

Insanity? Worse?

Took a Heminevrin,

Paced the house

All night,

Pain in chest,

Weak legs,

Lack of feeling

In extremities,

Visions of darkness.

Drank water

To keep the

Life functions going,

Played devotional music,

Dedicated my life

To God,

Prayed constantly,

Renounced evil.

Next day,

Two Valiums

Helped me sleep.

By eve,

I started to feel better.

Suddenly,

All is clearer,

Taste, sounds,

I feel human again.

I made my choice,

And oblivion has receded,

And shall disappear.

 

Or Happier At Least

 

I was happy,

TV nightly,

As a family,

 

Simple pleasures,

Any Umbrellas,

Family holidays,

 

I was happy,

Perhaps the world was happy,

Or happier at least.