The Medium Snooze - Chapter 8

Chapter 8 : Lars Bendelbee

Monday 10th July, 9.00AM : I woke up. This turned out to be a monumentality bad move on my part. After apologising several times to whoever it was that was using my head as a bongo drum I went back to sleep.

“Tony !”

I smiled cheerfully and waved as I walked through the door into Sydney’s tub. I was in a reasonably good mood , after spending most of the day hiding under a stone (literally) the last few symptoms of my insecticide induced hangover had cleared a little over an hour ago. It was 10.30PM.

“Pincher. What the hell do you want ?”

For some reason Tony didn’t seem especially pleased to see me, it‘s strange but I get that a lot.

“What do I always want Tony ? Some Bio, some good company and a little information.”

Tony was looking nervously around his very full bar.

“I’m busy Pincher.”

“That’s OK, when you’re free, I ain’t going no place.”

One of the great skills of being a P.E. is patience. Knowing when to sit back and not rush things can be vital, ask most P.E.’s and they’ll tell you that being able to wait a situation through is at the very heart of what being a good detective is all about. Of course most P.E.s are useless morons and I have plenty of other talents to balance out the patience bit so when Tony actually looked like he was going to leave me nursing a drink and carry on with his bar duties I decided to try a different track.

“Yeah Tony, that last piece of information really worked out. Sgt. 3287 is very grateful, he reckons he couldn’t have got anywhere without you.”

That got a few bug’s attentions and it was the sort of attention that Tony knew he didn’t want. Grabbing one of my legs he pulled me to one side.

“For cryin’ out loud Pincher, what are you doing ? Are you trying to get us both killed ?”

I smiled back pleasantly. “What do you mean Tony ?”

“You know damn well what I mean.”

“Well I suppose I could be persuaded to leave you alone. I mean, there are plenty of other bars and I only need a little information.”

Tony looked exasperated, he realised that he had no chance of keeping me quiet and that his only option was to get rid of me as quickly as possible.

“Ok Pincher you win. What do you want to know ?”

That was more like it.

“I want to know about a certain beetle in charge of a group of stag heavies.”

“What ? You’re not still on that kick are you ? Last I heard Spindler was dead weeks ago.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a persistent ‘wig, what can I say ? So come on Tony whadda you know ? I heard the heats off a little now, you should be able to give me something.”

With the looks Tony was giving me it was hard not to believe that permanent nervousness wasn’t the natural state for a woodlouse to be in.

“Well maybe things are quieter than they were but look Pincher if I start giving out names I’m signing up for a whole world of trouble.”

“OK Tony I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll give you a couple of names and you tell me if you’ve heard of them right ? That way you can honestly say you haven’t given me any names Ok ?”

It was like bargaining with a six day old larva, but Tony was weakening. To be honest it really was more of a case of he wanted me out of there rather than any real desire to help out but in this game you take what you can get.

“Ok Pincher.” he said it like I’d asked him if he minded me eating his sister.

“Lars Bendelbee.”

Tony frowned and shook his head.

“Harold Cervus.”

“Awwww Jeeese...”

Tony closed his eyes and turned his head away from me back to the bar.

“That’s him isn’t it Tony ? That’s the guy who was harassing you ?”

“Look Pincher, you didn’t get any of this from me Ok ?”

“Sure sure sure Tony, whatever you say, but that’s him isn’t it ? That’s the beetle.”

Tony’s head dropped to the floor, eyes tight shut. His voice was so quiet that I only just managed to catch his next words.

“Yeah, that was him.”

“Whadda you know about him Tony ?”

“Look Pincher no, I mean, come on. I ain’t seen him for a while and I don’t want to but if he came back and found out I’d squealed...”

“He won’t Tony I promise.” Yeah, like I could keep that one. “But you gotta tell me what you know about him.”

“Awwww... Look I don’t know. “

“Come on, you gotta know something.”

“I don't know Pincher.”

“He was shaking you down for weeks.”

Erm, well I kinda know, well sorta know, where he lives.”

This was better than I could have hoped for.

“You know where this sleaze bag lives ?”

“Yeah. Sorta, well, I know where he operates from. You see I couldn’t make one of the payments, business was slow and after encouraging me to improve business...”

At this point Tony lifted up his second leg on his right side. There was a bruise there just under his carapace that was as large as one of my feet. From what Tony had been saying this must have happened a number of weeks ago so he must have been in a hell of a state when it was first done.

“... yeah well after that he said I could bring the grubs to his place and he gave me an address.”

“Where ?”

“23rd stone under the rose bush.”

Expensive neighbourhood. Whatever our Mr. Bendelbee / Cervus was it certainly wasn’t short of aphids.

“Pincher ?”

“Yeah ?”

“How much do you know about this guy ?”

“Not much really Tony. He’s mean, he’s got control of some stags and he likes to kill bugs, that’s about it really.”

“He’s pond you know ?”

No I didn’t. And I didn’t really want to either.

Tuesday 11th July 9.00am : I hadn’t been able to get anything else out of Tony, he either didn’t know anything or he wasn’t saying, I suspected the former. Currently I was staking out Bendelbee’s hole, I had been since 6.30 that morning. Like I said I’m not the most patient of ‘wigs but the remote possibility of half a dozen stags sitting waiting for me in there was enough to convince me of the need for caution, even so I was getting bored. The area was very nice, Bendelbee had obviously done very well for himself by beating the crap out of others (or at least telling someone else to beat the crap out of others), an expensive looking pebble under the rose bushes with a carefully tunnelled hole leading down into (presumably) the place itself. Nice. Made my place look like a cheap hole in the ground, which wasn’t hard because that’s what it is. I’d been watching that hole for an hour and a half now and nothing had moved in or out. I decided to take some action. Bendelbee was either out or he at least didn’t have anyone with him that I needed to worry about, not after an hour and a half, no one would keep stags in an expensive place like that for an hour and a half.

I cautiously approached the entrance, I knew I could handle a darkling beetle but that doesn’t mean I wanted to get ambushed by one. The entrance was open so I slipped inside. The expense of the outside wasn’t just for show, it continued inside. The walls of the tunnel had been sculpted smooth not like the ragged sides of my place. When the tunnel came to an end it opened out into a large, single, circular room. The pebble, which Bendelbee’s place was under, formed an inwardly curving ceiling that, even at it’s lowest point, was a good inch and a half above my head, the floor, like the walls, was almost perfectly smooth with no sign of stones or roots showing through. Furniture in the room was likewise expensive, as you might expect given it’s location most of the furniture was rose wood or bark but even here that kind of stuff wasn’t cheap. It surprised me but Bendelbee was obviously a beetle of some taste.

Speaking of which there he was, right in the middle of the room, fortunately for me he hadn’t seen me. Unfortunately for him he wasn’t going to be seeing anyone at all ever again, for the second time in a week I walked straight into a murder scene. As I got nearer to the body I realised I might have been a bit hasty in my assumption this was Bendelbee, it was certainly a darkling but it had been decapitated. The head wasn’t far away though and that confirmed another of my leads had just gone cold. From the looks of things Bendelbee’s stags had turned on him, decapitation was a standard stag execution method. I knew what I had to do, I had three calls to make, the third was to Alice just to keep her filled in and that was going to be the easiest.

“Hello...” The voice was bored and sounded on the verge of launching into an in-depth routine so I interrupted.

“I’d like speak with Mr. Wington please.”

“Wington ? Did you say Wington ? I’m not sure I know a Wington. Hang on I’ll check. It’s not a name I get asked about a lot really and there are so many names around this place. Oh that reminds me what’s your name ? I mean I’ll need to know that otherwise how will Wington, whoever he is... Is he a he by the way ? Oh of course he is you said Mr. didn’t you....”

I was glad the ex-Mr. Bendelbee was paying for this call it looked like it was going to take sometime getting through the Hive exchange.

“Pincher. My name is Ernie Pincher.”

“Pincher you say ? Well I’m sorry Mr. Pincher but I can’t find an entry for any... oh no, hang on, what’s this ? Ahhhh, Wington, here it is. Putting you through now.”

There was around a seven minute pause whilst I was connected and Wington and the exchange guy swapped information and chatted about god knows what.

“Hello Mr. Pincher...”

“Yeah hi.” I got in there as quickly as possible “I’ve got some information for you. You remember I was chasing a half assed lead ? Well it panned out after all and I got the name of the darkling beetle from the raid on Turfside.”

“Excellent Mr. Pincher and what is the name ?”

“Lars Bendelbee otherwise known as Harold Cervus”

“I see.” The chatty nature of Wington’s voice vanished instantly.

“There’s a slight complication...”

“Don’t worry Mr. Pincher, we’ll handle things from here.” Wington was trying to get rid of me for some reason.

“No really, listen, he’s dead.”

“Dead ?”

“Yeah. Dead.”

“Are you sure ?”

I prodded the severed head of Bendelbee with my tail.

“Reasonably.”

Silence. Silence from a wasp, now that did worry me.

“Mr. Pincher, the Hive thanks you for your co-operation in these matters and we wish you well for the future.”

“Whoa, hang on this isn’t finished yet.”

“If you’re smart it will be as far as you’re concerned Mr. Pincher.”

“Look I’ll call you again if I find out any more.”

“No Mr. Pincher. You will not call me again. Goodbye.”

He’d hung up on me. Wington had finished that conversation in an awful hurry which spelt very bad news for someone, I just hoped it wasn’t me. I guess I wasn’t working with the Hive any more. With my first call being less of a success than even I could have predicted I wasn’t looking forward to the next one.

“Hello operator ? Get me the Hill.”