Ode to an Ogre

(With appologies to Tolkien et al.)

Rishlac was an Ogre mean.
A nastier beast you've never seen.
But despite all this the Wood Elves tried,
to throw a party with from far and wide.
Rishlac's birthday was the event,
and to all the races the Wood Elves sent,
invitations to the bash.
With lots of food like blancmange with mash.
This is the stuff that ogres eat
along with anything else they meet.
To celebrate the wood elves thought it proper,
to send him gifts made of wood and copper.

As the replies arrived at the enchanted wood,
the Wood Elves found out that they stood,
on their own in their friendship plan,
as refusals came in from Dwarf, Elf and Man.
Even the Orcs and Goblins refused to come,
The Dwarves claimed "That Ogres scum!".
"An Utter Bastard!" the Noldo said,
for they were learned and well read.
But the foolish Wood Elves continued to try
and throw a party by and by.

Eventually the party day finally came,
but the responses were indeed all the same.
Still the Wood Elves still undetered crept,
into Rishlac's cave where he slept,
to set up the party while he was out,
he would be surprised, there could be no doubt.
Then song and jest and a great big pud,
out of which would jump (in just a hood),
a buxom Elf maiden with obvious charm,
it was just a laugh, it would do no harm.

So all the Wood Elves prepared and hid,
Quandram, Silbeath, Ganyril and Sid.
Now Sid is a strange name for an elf
and not one likely to bring great wealth
but the origin of Sid's name is rather gory,
and nothing at all to do with this story.
In the meantime Rishalc returned,
with the pay that he had earned.
Well earned is pushing it a bit far,
he'd just mugged some Hobbits with an iron bar.

All the elves jumped out an cried "SURPRISE!"
and waited to see the light in Rishlac's eyes,
turn into a happy smile,
but they'd be waiting a very long while.
The Ogre grunted "What's this here ?".
"Elves n' mash n' blancmange n' beer ?"
"Still nevermind, I really care not."
And he set about and ate the lot.
Mash and Elves, buxom maiden and all.
Until finally he stood alone in his hall.
The moral here being (if moral be told),
to stay from Ogres if you wish to grow old.