Foot and mouth disease rap

Foot and mouth disease rap

(composed in April 2001, and subsequently performed in public several
times - the views expressed in this rap are the author's alone)

Now gather round people and let your feet a-tap
I'm going to tell you something - it's the foot and mouth rap
It's a tale of waste, it's a tale of idiocy
In the kingdom united by on what we disagree

It was started when a farmer, he gave his pigs some swill
And he took so long to notice when his hogs became so ill
His motives they were profit, he didn't give a damn
He packed them in their hundreds on a tiny bit of land

Now pigs they cough the virus - they contaminate the air
And the farmers they were moving their sheep just everywhere
'Cos you gotta make a profit so you pack them in a truck
And you drive through the night - you just don't give a f---

Then suddenly they noticed that their beasts were falling sick
And MAFF thought they'd fix it - they sure don't miss a trick!
So they killed them in their tens and they killed them by the
score
But that wasn't fast enough so they killed them more and more
But still they were not stopping it and the virus quickly spread
And the carcasses piled up and more and more were dead

Now in this world of hunger where many cannot eat
They burned and they buried all those tonnes of safe meat
For foot and mouth disease is not a human thing
But still they wouldn't vaccinate in a protective ring

And still they were too slow, so the army were called up
And they burned and they buried and then they dug them up
The bodies were polluting the local water course
Things weren't getting better - they were getting worse and worse

Now you go down... Lake District way,
To the Scottish Borders, or Dumfries and Galloway
There are no sheep in the fields, there are no cows in the byres
They're going up in smoke, they're in funeral pyres
They're rotting above ground, they're rotting down below
But still it's not working, it's just too damn slow!

And the farmers they're so desperate... across the nation
Although they receive... compensation
But tourism gets little, just a bank loan
Though tourism's losses are growin', growin', growin'!
Agricultural exports, they earn us just a bit
But tourism's worth a fortune, and they just don't give a sh-t!

Now if they had been clever, if they had been wise
They'd have copied the Emerald Isle, and this is my advice:
Promote our living culture 'cos you find it in the towns
You can still visit sessions
(http://www.cellarscene.co.uk/sessions.htm) when the country's all
closed down!

Yeah, traditional music is where it's at
And if you don't agree, well, you probably sing flat!
Yes, traditional music is where it's at
And that is SCaT (http://www.scat2000.co.uk), and that is that!