Don't go alone
By Cherry Stone
Mon, 05 Jul 2010
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2 comments
Walking through the cobble street,
surronded in darkness, the air is damp,
puddles scattered near her feet,
a silhouette whisping around a street lamp,
She catches a glimpse of two young men,
turns the corner,
they're there again,
She starts to worry,
walking faster now,
she's in a hurry,
she's in a rush,
trying to be hushed,
she gets pushed.
It's an ambush.
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Comments
I like the suspense of this
Permalink Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
I like the suspense of this piece, think some of your rhyming words are a bit simplistic and undermine the scene you're setting. Perhaps try and re-write it without rhyming at all? See how that goes?
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