Letter to a Friend 2

Marianne,

 

I need help. I don't know what I've done. Everything seems to be falling apart.

 

I feel like I'm approaching infinity. Things are speeding up.

 

Day by day goes by quicker and quicker. All my dreams are coming true. I just don't know. I don't know if this is what I want this life to do.

 

Everything is falling into place. Piece by piece. Like a simple puzzle. But I don't like it.

 

I like it in disarray now. None of the pieces fitting quite right. Always losing the perfect one under the table.

 

But no.

 

Now they are all here.

 

Every single little piece. Everything falling into place. What is going on?

 

What did you do?

 

You have changed the way my brain works. Or perhaps you somehow changed the universe.

 

It all makes sense.

 

Everything.

 

Every little piece.  Everything is working out for me.

 

It's a trick it has to be. One day there has to be the day when everything falls apart.

 

There always is. Days of paradise ended by a day worse than any other. A day that qualifies as night.

 

This never-ending cycle has been going on for years.

 

What is the trick?

 

Nothing can be going this well.

 

First date.

 

First kiss.

 

First lap around the ever-popular bases.

 

All with the person I truly care about.

 

What did you do?

 

You entered my mind and dug up my emotions. Stirred them in a huge stirring pot. When I left you, I tried to clean up the mess you made, but nothing has been the same.

 

You did something else. You trained my brain. I can't stop seeing the silver lining.

 

Stop! It isn't logical. There is rarely an actual silver lining. Just think. When has it worked out for you before?

 

But my brain is singing a different tune.

 

“Why not?” taking place of “Why?”

 

I see the love. It's truly wrong.

 

No! It can't be! I've changed.

 

The Right-Brain is taking over the Left-Brain.

 

Everything looks different. The sun is shining brighter. It burns my eyes, but I still feel the dopamine running through my mind.

 

Spring time is beautiful. I run around WITH the bees. Not scared at all over their tiny sting.

 

I don't worry.

 

I don't care.

 

I can finally run my life.

 

But I'm scared.

 

Please, Marianne, I'm not asking you to come back forever. I'm asking you to fix what you
broke.

 

Come back and do the tiny repairs that I don't know how to do.

 

My Left-Brain is relying on you.

 

My old self is relying on you.

 

They don't like this change.

 

Please, just make all the confusion just go away.