The Courtier Behind The Throne Who Would Be King: The King Behind The Throne : Henry VIII (Alfred the Great II) and The Six Wives (including The Great Separation) : Ch.6 by Alfred Muggins

10/3/23

    Alfred realised that, as he was the Head of Henry’s new Church of England, and the vast majority of his people, nobles and poor, all believed him to be their King, and, if the truth were told, held him in some kind of awe. He no longer was forced to kow tow to the over-rich Papacy, or follow their somewhat restrictive rules. As de facto Head of the Church of England he could just about do whatever he wanted!

    Naturally Alfred could feel the power going to his head, but as a 21^st Century Person in disguise he would know how to handle it, because he had the full teachings of History behind him to temper any excesses he may feel like perpetrating. For one thing also he was guided by 21^st (and 20^th) Century toleration, an understanding of what the people really needed and wanted, having been part of the hegemony of Democracy in the enlightened Western world, which had come to be accepted as the best model in large parts of the world!

     Anyway he was already married to Katherine Parr, as the wife of Henry! The only other wife of Henry still living was the lovely Anne of Cleves, whom Alfred, in the guise of Henry, had fallen head over heels in love with. He couldn’t understand for the life of him, what the (real) King had not seen in her! Having found her very beautiful in one of the Tudor drama series’ he and Mrs Muggins had seen together more than once, he had determined to at least meet her, and get to know her, in his guise of Henry.

     He had met her, of course, as a Minister and Courtier of Henry VIII, but had not been able to know her well until he actually became the King, but had seen enough to know that she was not the ugly shy housewife Henry had painted her as.

     When he, as the King, had his audience with her he came close and examined her face with his eyes, and the conversation they had together was magical! Because she and the real Henry had been unable to consummate their very brief marriage Alfred thought, ‘How well could she really have known him?’ She came to know him later as a rich benefactor, giving her Palaces and Houses, as he pensioned her off, so to speak, as an unwanted and divorced wife. Their marriage had been legally annulled, but in return she was made a rich woman, in her own right. She had not gone running back to Cleves in Germany to be married off again by her older brother William, but had stayed in England, as the welcome home of an ex wife, and Queen, who did what Henry wanted by accepting her divorce.

     Alfred was rather pleased, because that laid Anne open to becoming a closer friend. Alfred could see that with gentle persuasion he might even be able to teach her the things which Henry himself had not had the patience, or the lust, to teach her.

     After a few meetings Alfred was convinced that he had fallen head over heels in love with this lovely gentle Queen, and determined that, in the guise of Henry VIII, he would bring this erstwhile Queen back into his fold!

    Alfred as Henry was unrestrained by the Papacy, and could make the very new Church of England into whatever he chose to make it. Why couldn’t he, the de facto King, do what the Caliphs and Sultans could do? They were believers of the Book too, as were the Christians, and their rules allowed a ruler or even just a rich man to support up to 4 wives, if he could afford to look after them all. Well if the real Henry could have 6 wives (admittedly not all at once!) then why could not he, as Henry’s ‘caretaker’ King, take 6 wives? He could afford them now!

     Alfred understood deep down that he had always been jealous of Henry for this very same reason, that he had possessed, and enjoyed, so many different and wonderful wives!

The Great Separation

     Mrs Muggins, who had come to real Henry’s Court with him, and lived there for some time, had finally taken leave of both him and the Court, and had gone home (some years ago in terms of their 16^th Century life!) She had chosen to go eventually a few years after her beloved Anne Boleyn was beheaded, and the King had turned so nasty, in her view, falsely accusing Anne’s brother George of incest, and cuckoldry, and the poor innocent musician. She had not been too happy about the way Henry had dealt with the Pilgrimage of Grace also. Those had been difficult times for Alfred also, but Mrs Muggins had become very jealous of her husband, believing him to be little better than the King himself, as he stayed quiet and refused to speak up for or protect the weak or victimised, in order to protect his own head.

     Mrs Muggins became rather suspicious, rather like the King himself, of her husband, as she read infidelity into the (she believed!) wandering eyes of her ‘erstwhile’ husband, as she believed he had idolised Anne Boleyn just a little bit too much, having gone to as many of her French Classes as he could, and having partially learned to speak that oh so gracious and passionate language so fluently. (Once he had suggested Henry might send him to Paris as an ambassador, but Mrs Muggins forbade it so vehemently that he had to tell Henry his wife wouldn’t let him go, and to find someone else for that prestigious position! She had told him strenuously, in no uncertain terms, that if he went to Paris she would divorce him! She must have had visions of him going to watch the ‘Cancan’ in Montmartre!)

    When Jane Seymour came on the scene (so to speak!) Lady Muggins had believed that her husband had been guilty of ‘fawning over her’ and that she had observed the depth of his unconsolable misery when that Queen had been sacrificed for the male issue of the King, finding Alfred weeping uncontrollably at her cruel childbirth death!

     The final straw for Mrs Muggins had been at the time of the King’s wooing and subsequent marriage to little miss Catherine Howard (whom she had developed a keen dislike to at the time, because ‘little miss flaunt it’ had become the object of the whole male court’s attention, including Alfred, and the King Henry, who made a complete fool of himself in the mad chase of the late teenager.

     When that teenage girl had been accused and found guilty of infidelity, and of not being a virgin when she married Henry, all thoughts of hatred and jealousy towards her by Mrs Muggins had completely gone out of the window, so to speak, as Mrs Muggins’ maternal instincts had come to the fore. Alfred too had shared the horror of what Henry had done to this poor young beauty. It had been a revisitation of what happened to Anne Boleyn all over again, and yet poor Catherine Howard had been so young, and had lived so little of her short life!

     Mrs Muggins blamed Alfred for his desperate interest in these various wives of Henry, and for his refusal to stand up to Henry over any of them. She couldn’t help herself but to call Alfred weak and uncaring, but, as Alfred said at the time, both of them had known what Henry was capable of long before they even came to the sixteenth century. So why should she blame him for the unjustifiable and cruel actions of the increasingly paranoid King?

    As Alfred said quite calmly to her, Mrs Muggins was displaying paranoiac tendencies by accusing Alfred for not acting against the crimes of Henry. After all what could Alfred, the mere servant, do against the anger and jealousies, and temper of the King, if he wanted to keep his head too? Even Thomas Cromwell, well known for licking Henry’s boots, had come unstuck recently after the Anne of Cleves debacle, and had lost his head.

    Anyway that had been quite enough for Mrs Muggins. After the cruel execution of the teenage Queen Catherine Howard she had wanted out of the Sixteenth Century once and for all, and she had wanted out of Alfred’s life as well! She said goodbye, she would see him back in the 21^st Century, but their marriage might never be the same again. She was not at all sure she would be waiting for him when he got away from the Sixteenth Century. And she was never seen in Henry’s Court ever again!

    And she was not back at home when Alfred popped back to the 21^st Century once or twice to prepare for the ‘Body Swop’ with Henry VIII himself. Apparently she had won the lottery, and gone on a long Caribbean cruise at the time, and when he had charged his phone up in the 21^st Century again, he had not been able to contact her on her number! It looked as if they were at least having a separation, if not a full divorce!

     Anyway the upshot of all of this was that Alfred (in the guise of Henry VIII, in the 16^th Century felt very much separated from his real wife Mrs Muggins – and a lot of that was more her fault than his. So he felt free, particularly as he was currently living very much in the 16^th Century, to live the life that he chose. Where would he ever again have the chance to live as Henry VIII, in splendid luxury, with as many wives as he wanted. Mrs Muggins could have been one of them, but she chose not to be!

    Anyway, legally speaking it was not Alfred who was betraying Mrs Muggins! He was not the same person legally speaking. He was Henry VIII, the Once and Future King (Alfred the Great II, unbeknown to the rest of the Sixteenth Century World.)