The Downfall Of Russia (The Madness of Tsar Putinplot!) by Alfred N.Muggins

26/4/22

    Vladimir Putinplot looks into a Crystal Ball, which he has acquired from a cave somewhere in the Ural Mountains. Apparently Genghis Khan once looked into it, and learned that he was to become the ruler of nearly all of Asia and half of Europe. He looks into it and sees himself at the head of a column of tanks, about to enter the historical Russian City (Ukrainian?) of Kiev!

    (Mussorgsky did a great piece of music about the Great Gates Of Kiev in his ‘Pictures At An Exhibition’ suite! Which was many years later covered by the great modern musos Emerson Lake and Palmer!)

    But the triumph is short lived as a fire breathing dragon called NATO arrives before him and begins to spew fire down upon his column of tanks, and virtually all the tank crews are burned to death in an orgy of flame! Putinplot jumps out and flees back to Moscow with the remnants of his forces, vowing to make Ukraine and the dragon NATO pay!

    He will be fated to telling lonely lies, and no one would understand him, or believe him! He goes back to Moscow to lick his wounds, and vows one day to become strong again. Like the Dark lord he will one day rise again, like a Monster from the Black Sea to bring down revenge upon the ancient Russian City of Odessa, which has escaped his vengeance for so long, and will no longer escape it. Its Russian inhabitants have turned away from Mother Russia, and have chosen to live as democratic citizens in a peaceful land, and merely asked NATO to protect them, but he would not do all their fighting for them.

    “You shall have to fight for yourselves,” said NATO, the dragon, “for your own freedom and dignity, and to protect your own children and old folks. I cannot fight your battles for you. You must fight them yourselves!”