The Mobile

"Hello I'm pulling into the train station, be home in 20 minutes" I whisper to my wife on my mobile. Secretly I grate my teeth whilst saying it, its the same question I get asked every day, and I'm compelled to answer it.

I'm trying to text my mate john about the footie over the weekend. I type it out long hand then carefully sift thru the words making "later" into "l8r" which makes me cool right? I can barely read what I've texted it must be ready to send.

I'm finally home and my wife is upstairs she texts me asking me to bring her a cup of tea. We get into an argument sorry I mean an RGUMNT as the whole thing unfurls by text.

I think my wife isn't speaking to me but then again she never was, does silent treatment via text count? I text an apology and bring her up a cup of tea.

I have dreams of my wife at night dressed in a lace basque, she slowly undresses to reveal her 3.2 inch lcd screen, built in wi-fi and unlimited 3G internet. I wake up as hard as a rock desperately trying to punch my erection into submission.

I've started putting my phone on vibrate and ringing myself over and over I press the phone to my crotch its the new google android beautiful.

Me and my wife had phone sex the other night I was away and she set the phone on vibrate. My wife texts me some naughty pictures, mmmm.

MY beautiful phone.