What I'd love to say to the wife

By d.best

Fri, 19 Nov 2010
  • 843 reads
3 comments
 

Wife: "Do you think I'm fat".

What I want to say: "Your a fucking whale, the only reason I stay with you is your good at ironing"

What I actually say: "Your TV programs about to start"

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Wife: "Why don't you put your dishes away after you, honest to god!!"

What I want to say: "Because if I leave it somewhere stupid I know it will annoy you, and besides leaving a cup on the table for 10 minutes ain't killin' nobody".

What I actually say: "I'll remember for next time."

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Wife "Why don't you ever take your mobile phone with you?".

What I want to say: "What if you phoned me when I was with a hooker?"

What I actually say: "It's charging"

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Wife "How was your day".

What I want to say: "Woman I am man service me."

What I actually say: "Not bad"

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Wife "I'm going to see my friend tonight".

What I want to say: "The fat one, the ugly one or the fit one that definitely fancies me"

What I actually say: "Have a nice time"

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Certificate 15
Biography
Modern Mania
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by sylviec on
sylviec an interesting perspective for a completely misogynistic male attitude even down the the title using the term ' the wife' an interesting study in the appalling level of relationship intelligence between couples that mirrors a social attitude which still prevails - i don't like it as a piece because i find it uncomfortable to read and think that men still treat women like that but it is extremely illuminating in a few short words

sylviec

Submitted by Geertje Jong on
I only have one question Why are you still with her? Geertje

Submitted by d.best on
My wife doesn't do half this stuff, its based more on an ex. I wanted it to be uncomfortable, sometimes funny and a chauvinistic view of my current/past relationships. So whilst its true-ish I have embelished a whole lot. If I talked to anyone like this they'd probably punch me out everyday.