Idioom Revised spelling

What about this? The memsahib and I visited our
Physician several weeks ago for our annual checkup.
He examined us both thoroughly, then said,”bad news
I’m afraid old chap,it seems that both you and your good lady wife have developed a mallignant tumour on the lung”
“Good heavens” I exclaimed, quite taken aback. “What on
earth are we to do”? “Well there’s not much hope of a
recovery I’m afraid”he replied. So why not get yourselves
down to the Med?have a bit of fun while there is still time”
“’only wish we could” I sighed, “’rather out of funds at present alas”.
“Oh bad show” he exclaimed,then his eyes lit up.
“I have it” he cried,”why not cane the jolly old credit card,
your not likely to have to repay the cash,are you?
“What a splendidly immoral suggestion” I exclaimed
delightedly. So off we jetted and had an absolutely
wonderful time:but dash it,what with the champers and
heavenly weather etc. we both made an amazing
recovery. But the devil of it is, I shall now have to sell
our beloved old Bentley to pay off those cads at the credit
card company.
I don’t mind telling you I shall tick off my confounded doctor
In no uncertain manner on my next visit.

Vyvyan Harcourt/Smyth HOVE