Untold, when told

It was raining quite hard outside. I don’t know why it rained now, for me, it used to rain always when I am in love. We both were lying on her bed, naked under her sheets, staring at the ceiling. My mind was passing through many thoughts for I was sure that she is also going through something similar. Firstly the adult in me was happy to get laid with a mature girl unprepared, Secondly the human in me felt guiltiness on what I did to a girl who is going to get married after a week and thirdly me myself consoled me by believing that everything is fair in love and war.

Tears were about to spill down from her eyes. The doe-shaped eyes of hers, lined with mascara was spread around her eyes and I could taste the strawberry lip glow of her in my tongue.

She turned to me and asked, wiping those tears with her palm “Why did you born late?”

I couldn’t answer this question for it was her pain that she released as words. I could sense the inner pain in that voice, weary of the love that unwrapped at an unlikely time. She kept glancing at me for I left that question unanswered. The guiltiness in her eyes was piercing deep in me, the occasional phone calls of her fiancé increased the strength of my pain, and the photograph of her family on the wall made me think that I betrayed their trust in me. I drifted my thoughts for some hours before, rechecking the moments I could stop this from happening.

Last night, it was she, who called me to return those books which I have taken from her for reading. I know this woman for a long time, since my college days and we kept contact even after I complete my MBA. I reached her home by morning when her mom was about to leave for work. Her mother knows me very well and the relationship we are sharing. Her mother blindly respected our age for her being three years older than me, so she didn’t mind my presence on her absence. Her mother went to work, leaving us both alone at home.

“Had breakfast?” She asked me for I nodded no. She came with three slices of bread with cheese on it and a coffee in her favorite “Friends forever” printed mug.

She was on a casual dress of black tees and normal skirt. Her face was powdered then and her eyes were neatly lined with black mascara. Her lips glowed with the strawberry lip glow she has always used. She looked stunning when the sun gleamed on her through the glass window pane. My age made me size her from her back. But my ethics took my eyes from what I was doing. She was not a woman to rape with my eyes or my thoughts. The woman before me was the most innocent girl that has ever passed by my life. She was not so intelligent, she was not so bold but she was a pure lady. A quality woman who only knows to love everyone and everything. She doesn’t recognize her needs or cognize on how to decide things. Her only wish is to make everyone happy and she doesn’t mind if it risks her happiness.

We sat on a sofa and started talking. We have many things to talk about. She knows my taste for reading and writing for she started with:-

“What about your dream of becoming Gabriel Garcia Marques, your favorite writer?” she asked me with her usual enthusiasm for my things.

“Thinking of a good plot to start. I don’t see any characters around. Everything behaves as if they are in a mask. Pretending on every situation as good with evil thoughts and evil mind. I don’t want to debut with such characters. I want pure love to debut my novel with.” I replied for I am very well aware about how my plot should be.

She received my answer with her wide smile. I love that smile for it is a genuine smile, not a smile just to encourage who is talking nor about unespected pretending an unexpected thought. She respected every one, their views and their decisions.

“Why have you stopped writing poems? I am one of your greatest fans. It makes me think many things.” Peacefully she asked.

“Illiterate antagonists were my reason. They are not ready to use their brain to think. They don’t even know how to read poems. Finally, it will be us who is going to feed our thoughts, to them. It took me in writing stories than prosify them.” I replied in a disturbing tone.

She gazed at me after my reply and told me this is a kind of guy she dreamed of. A man who loves words, who understands life the way it is, who have many crazy wishes to be done with life. While saying this, I got from her eyes that she meant the words she said. Even though, a sign of regret was clear in her eyes that she hides from me.

A phone call cut off our conversation. She signaled me to keep quiet and took the phone. It was her fiancé. She was very careful while talking to him. Not because of my presence, but she was not comfortable with the call. Maybe she doesn’t love his talking or maybe there could be some other reason. Anyway, she was so sad after the call. Her cheer and enthusiasm fades away after the call.

“Anything bad? It is not the same you who was talking with me before the call.” I inquired

She came beside me, her eyes pale. She couldn’t control her tears and burst into tears. She said her fiancé doubts her a lot. Now he forcefully asked her Facebook password to check her chats. What sort of a man is he? That's what I thought. She started to release her sorrows to me. She said to me that her fiancé bug her to do many things. To upload a profile picture of them together in FB, to update love status tagging him, to call him at night just to surprise him, to wake him up and to make him sleep with a song. He didn’t allow her to go for hangouts with her friends after they got engaged. He decides the dresses he wants her to wear.

She told me she feels like a caged pigeon at his presence. She was weeping and slowly placed her hands on mine.

“Then why have you accepted this relation with him?” I frowned at her.

“Nothing was in my hand, dear. One day when I returned after work, my parents hurried me to get dressed up to welcome Shawn. He came, drank a cup of coffee, boaster about his achievement and his financial strength and went back. My parents, flattered with Shawn and fixed our marriage without my consent.

The emotional usual dramas of her parents made her to budge with her parent’s decision. Powerless being she, has got no other options for her.

Suddenly she looked at me wiping all her tears flowing down her cheek and asked “Can we elope? To the place in your poem. To the cavern of mysteries and fairies.”

It was then I understood the range of her dreams. How much she drifts from the reality that we lives. She being innocent, believed such places exists, in her mind. She loved the fairies who rains love in a monsoon, and the ravens who return with pearls and gold on feeding them. She wished to be in a place filled with pure and peaceful love, not of the love of others to possess it rather than to love it.

I was answerless about eloping with her. I clenched her hand to make her relax. I made her rest on my chest and caressed on her hairs. I patted her on saying that “things happens for a better good. Hold your hope until it came to you”. She caught me around my stomach and cried loud. I couldn’t even know how to make her calm. I kept patting on her back to relax her.

It was then she asked me that question first, “Why have you born so late? For that I just blamed the laziness of my parents. But in my mind, I cursed God for not sending me with her, so that I could give her hope to stay with me. I suddenly saw the fear in her eyes of losing me for I asked her:-

“Are you in love with me, Aileen?” The answer I waited was a no, but things sometimes doesn’t go on our way.

“I was always in love with you Dennies. I fancied a life living with you, for I know it wasn’t possible. I cast me as the girl in your poems, wished that poems were about me. I have compressed my feelings to you, my love to you. I couldn’t control it anymore. I will be dead if I didn’t free it from Me.” She sighed

Aileen, loosened her hands from me and cupped my face pulling me to a deep and passionate kiss. She was fully feeling her kiss to me, for I could sense the stress relieving from her. Her muscles went limp and relaxed. Love was present around us. Outside, the rain started pouring and through the windows a cool wind covered us. We were driven to the peaceful land of love where no worries could hurt our souls. We don’t know how we reached the bed or how we got naked. It all happened. But I believe the love welcomed us into its realm and made us do what it want us to do.

On lying beside her, under a sheet, fully naked, I could not find a chance to not let this happen. This was meant to be happening. The day dawned only for our love to be revealed. I looked back at her and saw her still gazing at me. I turned to her and hugged her, whispering in her ears: “Love is not the condition of the spirit, but the sign of the zodiac. What is to be happened between us, it happened and it will remain in us. I thank you for making me understand the feel of true love.” I ran my fingers through her face and to her lips and continued:

“Aileen, don’t feel guilt for what we have done. We just freed a love which was caged for a long time. Let it enjoy its freedom from us and let it fly from us.”

She smiled on my philosophical touch for the situation. She hugged me tightly. The warmth of her breast can be felt inside me. Her fragrance piercing my nose, and she is enjoying the smell of my sweat. She took her face from me and said:-

“Now I just felt now the happiness when a dream is accomplished. I understood the drug in it and in a way it regrets me. Why couldn’t I realize how the happiness was like before? So that I could respect my dreams than being happy when others accomplish theirs. I don’t keep this as a guilt in me. I will remember this day as the day that revealed me to myself. The value and feel of dreams.”

I was happy at her reply for I wish she could be bold in her life ahead. I was sad to give her to a selfish guy who values his dreams more than hers. But I was happy for her and I believed it was my duty to free a caged love.

The rain started to beat down heavily now. I asked her to come for a ride with me for it will be our last moment like this. I also asked her to never be sad for the love which born and die on the same day. In fact, I told her to cheer with a memory you got to keep safe in the chapters of life. She smiled on me and again pulled me to deep kiss much more passionate than before.

In the heavy downpour, we rode together, getting fully drenched in the rain enjoying the remaining hours of us together, in love.