Culture

Just an isolated experience to recount.

But was it?

I was in a large charity shop looking at stuff when I found myself ambling slowly past an orange pine chest of drawers circa 2005. I had no interest in purchasing the item, but clearly a steamed up women with excruciatingly short hair thought differently, as she virtually shoulder charged me out of the way in her quest to secure the trophy. A la mode, her backside was so well developed it could probably have swallowed a whole galaxy with just one clench of the buttocks, and her tattooed bingo wings swept the floor as she clutched the object greedily to her bosom.

Then her husband arrived.

No, he wasn't an urbane executive in suit and old school tie, as you were probably imagining. He could only be described as the sort of England football hooligan you would discover if you climbed to the top of a beanstalk with Jack. That such a giant shiny head should only contain a walnut, was miraculous in a bad way.

I moved well out of range.

And of course they decided against buying the drawers....