Golden Memories: The Office

Most of my peer groups were full of weird characters. Whether students or hippies this was the case, and it was probably more important to our motorcycle gang than actually having a motorcycle. We did draw the line, however, at the guy who turned up in full racing leathers and a helmet, always mounted on a push bike.

Looking back, it was vaguely sociological that my experience at work was entirely different. This situation was characterised by a complete lack of characters. The whole place was held together by routines, roles and gossip. Nevertheless a few interesting features are worth remembering.

It was astonishing how the staff had binary personalities; one for those at or beneath the same level (inane chatter) and one for those above them (trembling sycophancy). From my perch at the back they looked like a collection of Janus idols with two faces.

Individuality was limited, but there were signs of deviation. One bloke boasted he had twenty-five three piece suits, another collected Nazi militaria and became white faced with repressed rage if challenged. One old chap showed his remaining strength by crushing apples with a mighty gnarled fist. Most people over 50 put on weight and had heart attacks and strenuous debates occurred about orange Austin Maxi cars.

The boss was an absolute Frankenstein's monster of a man who terrorised the staff without mercy . Then one day he disappeared and had both legs amputated.

Was this all a good experience for me?

Without doubt.

It was, as they say, character building.