Meeting a Friend in the Pub.

Now then Caleb, you're a real good sport.
Pity you're so painfully fat and short.
And the end of your nose is one big wart.
I suppose that's why your marriage came to nought.

You'd have been wiser by far to go where it's bought.
But then you never shone where things were taught.
And "ouch!"...I didn't know you were a violent sort.
My balls in your hand are really caught.