The New Religion

Betty donned her best hat, straightened her skirt and set off to church. Reassured by the rustle and feel of her best silk knickers, she strode confidently past the neighbours queuing for food. These were indeed difficult times, but God would somehow provide.

At the Church of Immortals, Betty joined the seething mass of worshipers waiting to be annointed. After a while the Priest himself approached her, delivering a rousing sermon on the true way of life. He congratulated her on being chosen to attend the Cathedral later in the month, where she would be personally blessed by the Bishop.

When that day arrived, Betty was so excited she had a little accident, but after a change of clothes, she set off with a determined gleam in her eye. The Cathedral was a gigantic new building forty miles away, but she arrived in good time and eagerly inhaled the pungent incense being distributed by uniformed helpers.

Changing into her special smock, she awaited the mighty Bishop, who was initiating a dozen or so new acolytes that morning. His words were moving,

"Having chosen this path, you will never again live an ordinary life."

Betty left the hospital in a daze. How she would thank her G.P. for referring her. Immortality was now within her grasp! She would work tirelessly everyday to follow His word. She would attend services every week, dedicate her mind and body to the Gospel, and believe, believe, believe!

No need for those old, tired religions any more There was a new one.

Amen.

R.I.P