Starting a Novel #3

"The end is fry! The end is fry!"

"I say" said Percy Popinjay "surely you mean 'the end is NIGH' my dear fellow?"

"I knows what I mean, sir"

Zzzzzzzzzp!

Magic mushroom clouds billowed over the blackened  earth and determined microbes scuttled up through tiny fissures. A billion tons of burnt meat awaited them....

(Author's note: this introduction also serves as an ending. It would therefore be an ideal book for those with short attention spans).