Absence

Cherry

By EB

Sat, 13 Jun 2015
  • 3665 reads
10 comments
 

Like an iridescent winged thing,
inconspicuous by preference 
for shadow hopping
to revelations of brilliance, 

you noticed escape, 
leaving onlookers bereft 
of description for such a chasmic lack 
of astonishment experienced in this void. 

I thought I sensed breath on my neck;
might have sighed, if only I had caught
the drift in time, and was poorer for the lack 
of closure - we both were,

even though we didn't know it - never do
until too late to salvage opportunities 
to mourn our loss of savvy 
after missing all the crucial clues.

Certificate 15
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Very good poem. Sad but beautifully written

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by EB on

Thanks Accidentallyexisting.

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

hi eb some beautiful diction&lovely word combinations and the stanza beginning 'I thought I sensed breath on my neck', leading to ending, was so close and vivid and full of regret. v neat and pretty but quietly devastating. v much enjoyed.

 

Submitted by EB on

Hi Stephen. Thank you very much.

Submitted by Bee on

Everything in this is negative. 

Bee

Submitted by EB on

Thanks Bee. It is.

Submitted by tibi popovici on

absence and lack, in universal void..., sterile as it is holds everything in its emptyness, even all missing crucial clues.

T.

Submitted by EB on

Thanks T.

Submitted by chant on

'preference / for shadow' a very pleasing line break, tight machine of a poem all its gears and pistons singing its theme of loss.

 

Submitted by EB on

Thanks chant.