Climate finance (yes, this gets to be fictionalized)

Mario placed his $300,000 into the Parnasus Core Equity fund and let out a sigh of relief. It is finished. He has clicked the button. He had placed his money into a climate-friendly fund.

His cash now starting to move toward the monster we call the stock market. Hopefully, this year, the monster has slightly calming capital. A sort of Peptobismal for the churning stomach of the finance machine. Hopefully not money down the toilet. Hopefully a palliative for a hurting world. Hopefully.

Mario pulled up his “retirement calculator” tab once again. Nerd Wallet. There were ads on the side, but then again, how biased can a basic compound interest rate equation be? Hard to fuck that one up. (Maybe?) 

“Oh god, this society is so weird. Am I going to be alone when I die? Am I going to have a sick child who’s going to need 70% of what I own? Down syndrome, or maybe an addict,?” But enough of that. Let's close this analysis. 

“Alright, what is NerdWallet saying…”

Saving an additional $1,000 or so a month and assuming 6% interest rate would grow his assets to over $2m. “Not bad… Is 2M really necessary?” He’s never had anything close to that amount of money before. “Unless the stock market crashes and burns and there’s no civilization left. In which case I should be fucking and driving nice cars right now, not giving others the opportunity to gamble with his patience before…” But none of those thoughts. 

There’s something moralistic to the discipline of placing your money into retirement. It doesn’t feel rational. But then again, all the moralistic father figures out there say to do it. But are they just bullshitting to get capital flow into their mutual funds?

“What feels different about this supposedly climate-friendly retirement investment? (Supposedly).” Mario sat back and thought a minute. 

“It feels different this time.”

“Yes, they might fuck me but I have some real hope this money is good for the world.” So strange. He actually had some hope. It would be dishonest to pretend otherwise. And no one was going to take it away from him.