Maghintay Ka Nga (Learn to Wait)

I John 5:14-15
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

Are you hoping for something? Award in graduation, promotion, new house, out-of-town, extra allowance, gift, or anything? Are there times when you don’t get what you hoped for? The feeling is… well, it’s up to you to continue this sentence.

Expectations may hurt.

When I was in my Third Year, I was one of the delegates of Lucena City for RSPC. When I was on the seat, I read the topic, and thought, “If in the DSPC I won 3rd place without a fact sheet, what more today that there is a fact sheet?” Therefore, I expected to win even 7th. BUT, my mistake, I overlooked the fact that: if I thought of that and expected that, my 104 co-writers probably did, too. Haha. :D

The next months passed and somehow the same thing happened in little ways. I expected someone, he switched to another. I expected a lesson, I failed. I expected a result, it was delayed. The feelings were cut and therefore lessened as days passed. Then I assumed that I may have a twin curse, that whatever I assume, will be erased in the book of fate.

It doesn’t mean that when I imagine something, the reverse would happen. But, somehow it does. The truth is, when I imagine something, it also means that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN unless I forget that it ever existed in my mind. That is why DÉJÀ VU is a very common occurrence in my existence. That is also why I do not want to tell stories before I fight in a contest, because stories tempt me to think. I won’t win in that manner!

But as time passes by, I realized that, maybe God wants me to realize something. The truth is, this one hurtful experience of expectation changed me.

A friend of mine asked help from me. I did so. With that transaction, we were drowned with words of affection. It continued, but a day came when a complication bloomed. I demanded a talk; I waited, I expected. No talk happened. For instance I felt frustration. It’s… ouch. And then, a promise. Once again, I expected. That day on the imaginary promissory note came. Nothing happened. I silenced for eleven days? Nothing happened. And again, ouch. I shouted to Facebook. The talk happened, but very unclear. Yuletide… New Year… a realization came.

Today, I am happy. Why? Because of this realization…

When I imagine, I hope for achievement. But I overlook that it’s not my will which is to be fulfilled, it’s supposed to be GOD’s. It’s like… parang pinapakita ni Lord sa akin na kahit ano’ng iimagine ko, hindi na Niya tutuparin kasi mas maganda ang plano Niya para sa akin. That is why… ‘wag ko Siyang pangunahan (God shows me that my plans are not good enough, because His plans are better, that is why, I should not make moves without His consent). Right?! :)

When we ask for something – achievement, fulfillment – we do not need to beg, nor plan for tomorrow or future, we just have to believe that God has the most beautiful plan for us, even beyond what we imagine.

I am not assuring that what happens to me today is the fulfillment of my hopes, BUT I know that this is God’s plan for me even long before. I just needed to wait, and let life be. :))))