Tsuikaru

Heaven, a place of absolute holiness, the embodiment of all things pure where only beings of love and kindness dwell in peaceful serenity for the eternity of their afterlives, unaffected by the wicked persuasion of sin. This is how it is supposed to be. Angels are holy beings of love and purity. They should not feel and act as mortals; they should not acknowledge the presence of sin if in fact it does exist to persuade them; however it seems Seija and I were an exception to that rule. Perhaps we were created with some sort of flaw in our personas that allowed us to succumb to such temptations. I think of this now, as I stand before our Creator awaiting judgment and as I stand here I realize that Seija is the reason I face exile and I realize that even now the fire of lust burns through my body and desire drives me to crave him. Even now facing my judgment I still yearn to turn my head to face him, I long to reach out my hand to take his and unite us in exile. Standing beside me, he glows like a pillar of light, defiant as well in his judgment, exuding an overwhelming sense of pride despite his disgrace. Suddenly the word in my thoughts issues through a voice not my own in my mind: “exile”.
In spite of its meaning and the uncertain future of our souls, the word brings pleasure to my heart. Seija and I, together in exile. The desire to take his hand becomes nearly impossible to resist at this moment, though I know I must hold back. Seija is most likely unaware of my feelings for him. I conceal them well, and even if I were to be foolish enough to allow them to show the likelihood of Seija noticing is slim. He cares for nothing but himself. I know this, I am perfectly aware, facing exile from Heaven, that I am cast from paradise because I am irrevocably drawn to a narcissist. Love is something I cannot hope to find in Seija, and yet as I shift my gaze to glance at his face I can’t help but yearn for him, all of him, every piece and part of his being, his spirit. I long for it all knowing in all sincerity that it will most likely never be mine.
In the end I believe it is only natural to think back to the beginning. Honestly, I am not certain Seija and I will be together in exile. There is a chance that we will be separated and that chance frightens me, makes me think, reflect, and reminisce on every memory of Seija I have managed to retain. I still remember when I first saw him; he was the epitome of all an angel should be. Since creation he seemed to glow like the sun, exuding a purity that seemed impossible even for an angel, though as I grew to know him (not through conversation or interaction but rather through observation, as is my nature) I came to realize it was not purity that made him glow but confidence, a confidence an angel should not have.
It was this light that seemed to illuminate him since birth that would ultimately lead to his downfall. His pride grew and evolved with each day and his greed matured with it. As he grew, it seemed, I did too.
While Seija was as his name, “the saint”, I was more of a demon. Quiet, dark and somewhat hidden at all times, I was the polar opposite of the being I was beginning to desire. Tsumi was the name I was given, meaning sin. Because I seemed darker and more reserved than most of the other angels it became rumor amongst them that I was a source of evil in Heaven, a servant of Lucifer living in paradise. I suppose it was my own doing. I was not as good at social interaction as the others and did not emit nearly as bright a glow and ambiance of love and warmth. Instead I seemed cooler and more isolated. I was the black sheep amongst them. And it seemed I was more prone to sin as well. Perhaps my name suited me after all. Seija gradually became an entity I could not bare to be without. He was all I had ever wanted to be, all that I was not. I envied him, lusted for him, yearned for him. This was my sin, the reason for my exile. Eternity seemed to pass as we stood, so close it seemed and yet so excruciatingly far, eyes fixed on a light that flushed out all else save the wild thoughts racing through our minds. We had each committed two of the seven deadly sins within the realm of paradise as it where, and therefore it was certain our existence here would quickly come to an end. And thus it did.
Before either of us had even become aware of what had happened, of the fate to which we had been condemned, we found ourselves suspended in a strange new atmosphere, falling, plummeting down into what I could only guess was the mortal world in which sin thrived and blossomed so frequently in the hearts of God’s most prized possession: the human. All I could feel was air whipping, cutting, slashing against my body as seemingly useless wings struggled to push and extend against the pressure around me to somehow lessen this strange sensation of falling.
In the confusion I could barely manage to move, but in a random jerk of my head against the wind I spotted a familiar figure careening down onto the planet beside me. I could not mistake it for any other. Seija. So our fate was the same after all. Glimpsing the object of my sins and consuming the realization that we had been cast from paradise together aroused within my hollowed heart a sudden gush of warmth and jolted my pulse an extra couple of beats even in the adrenaline fueled state my body had seemed to have succumbed to.