The Beginning

Seeing past all there is to the truth is never an easy task. It
takes time and patience. We all have a point in our lives when what we
know must be challenged, when what we know isn't enough, but sometimes
things happened, they change and we're thrusted into a world that we
weren't prepared for. One where we must think on our feet, one were
everything we know is changing faster than we compensate for. What
happens when this occurs no one knows for sure because there are
thousand upon thousands possibilities, but that's the thing there are
always possibilities as one man once said and this is merely one of
them. This is not the norm or the standard, but only a mere
possibility, a speculation of what could happen if one was faced with
these types of challenges and changes. What we do is what we do, but of
all things we survive. Whether we meet this head on or not we do meet
it. It depends on the person and strength of will and character, some
say they are the same but in many ways they're not. This is one story,
one possibility, one speculation. This is one beginning....

It was a great day it was the last day of school before winter break.
Nothing else was on my mind but this. I wasn't going to let myself get
caught up in thinking about the homework that wasn't getting passed
out. Too many people let that happen and dreaded break, because they
were more worried about the work that had to be done whether than
having fun. I mean it was a whole week off and I was heading into my
senior soon. After that I would be in college and out of here. I needed
to get out of the cold and into the warm weather, who knows where I
would end up actually. I had been debating whether or not if I wanted
to take some time off before I headed into college. Parents would
probably blow a gasket or something, but it's my life right, not! Not
until I get out the house at least and I have another year left before
that can happen. Glancing up from the clock from time to time I was
pretty much doodling when Matt came past my desk. Looking up from the
drawing I didn't say anything. He usually didn't want anything just to
rag on me or something. I blew it off not thinking anything of it, but
that was so far from the truth actually. I mean when I looked at Matt I
didn't see who I wanted to be I just admired certain qualities about
him outside of his looks. I'm not a bad looker I stood at 5'11 black
hair, green eyes and what not and I wasn't scrawny, but I wasn't a
muscle head either. I was just me couldn't ask for much more than that.
I had a nice smile, but Matt had a confidence that made him who he was.
He wasn't the top dog around school but he knew how to get people's
attention me well I just made it through the day.

"What's up Matt?" My eyes met his for a moment and he gave me that
cocky smirk he always gave when he wanted something. He was one of
those typical all American types blonde hair, blue eyes and what not.
Sure I liked the package and what was inside, but there was a lot more
that mucked it up. I mean what can I say I take a lot at the entire
picture not just the flashy parts. I was still waiting when I started
brushing my pencil across the picture. "Well it's like this Packard..."
He always called me by my last name granted I had a first, but most
called me by my last rather than my first. Not that I minded it made me
stand out a little. "Like what?" I asked him with a slight arch of my
brow I was ready to roll my eyes, but I held it in. I didn't need the
ridicule I just waited for him to spit it out. He was taking a long
time winking at Jess from time to time. They had been going steady for
about a month now, so that shot all my chances down though one never
knows, but I wasn't holding my breath. Mid winter break was on my mind
actually not much else factored in and I wasn't going to let it even if
it was Matt Harrison standing at my desk. He could give less than a
damn about me. "Don't all day Matt." I told him with a nod, my eyes
glancing to the clock from time to time.

"Alright most of us know that your parents are going to be out of
town..." Before he could even finish the sentence I looked up at him
like he totally flipped his lid. "Hells no!" I spat it out at him like
that scoffing. "Beat it. Have your party somewhere else." He put his
hand on my shoulder trying to work some of that Harrison charm. "Come
on Packard if you do this you know this will turn you life around.
People will start saying all types of stuff. It'll be the party of all
parties until around prom. You know someone always throws some good
ones around then, but right now we need something to I don't know
relieve the stress. It'll put you in with the in crowd and everything.
Think of the possibilities." He had his better moments because this
wasn't one of them. I guess I was just one of those people that saw
straight through the bullshit. "No...if you want to have a party do it
somewhere else Matt." No one had been in my house since Junior high
they didn't give a damn about me just wanted somewhere to do their
thing and then disappear. I wasn't up for that. I wasn't up for them
really. I wasn't bitter, but I really wanted to get some things I
wanted done not host a party to end all parties. What a crock...

"Pack, come on you know you wanted to do it." This time that voice had
a bit of a shrill edge to it. Jess couldn't help it. It's just the way
it sounded. "Now it's a double team." I asked shaking my head. "Have it
at your houses. I'm not interested." I went back to drawing when Jess
pulled my pad causing my pencil to snap tearing into the picture I was
drawing. Matt blinked a couple of times looking at her. "Yeah I know
what's her deal maybe you should ask her that. " I snorted pulling my
pad back not appreciating that at all. Sometimes...just sometimes... I
let it pass from my mind though when the bell rang. I was so out of
here. "That's why." I told Matt yanking my back pack up not wanting to
deal with this shit at all. I wasn't a nobody, but I wasn't a somebody
either. I was just Ethan Packard. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder
I headed towards the door when Matt stopped me. "Sorry Packard...I just
thought..." But I stopped him before he could even finish the sentence.
"Don't worry about it. I'm the least of your problems. You have to find
a place for the party." I told him walking out of the classroom when he
ran after me after holding up a finger to Jess. He grabbed me by the
arm not tight but it wasn't a gentle caress I can tell you that much.
When he got me alone he looked at me pleading opening up those big
blues wanting to get to me.

"Look Pack...Ethan." He said softly and I could actually sense a little
genuine feeling there, but I wasn't about to fall for that. "I already
told everyone about the party. We all planned it about a week ago when
we found out your parents were going to be out of town. My old man
bumped into yours last week at the dealership." I closed my eyes
shaking my head. Dad needs to learn to shut his mouth something. "Matt
you did this not me. I'll just turn everyone away." I told him, but he
shook his head. "You're going to turn away over half the school, dude
the parties on you just didn't know about it. I told them would should
say something...you know kinda before the day, but..." I just looked at
him with the most disgusted look kinda like I was going to clock him a
good one but I just shook my head. "I'm dreaming tell me that I'm
dreaming because I know this isn't real. What a bunch of fucking
losers." I told him and started heading towards my locker when he
grabbed me again. "You know Matt if you keep gripping me like that
people are going to start thinking that you dumped Jess for me." He
grip got loose real quick at that one. Smirking I shook my head.
"Phobe..." It was all I could say but he wouldn't stop tailing me.
"You're not going to leave me alone until I give you some type of
answer right." I should play this up but I don't know what I'm going to
do. I don't want to give in, but...damn. "Packard you have to say
something. I need an answer we're getting a keg and everything." I
stopped right there and then. "You want to get a keg and you want me to
let you guys have a party in my house..." I told him as I pulled out
the flyer that everyone was getting. "That one I didn't even appear to
be invited to not to mention was going to be in my house." I shoved him
against the lockers just as the principal walked down the hall. "Mr.
Packard is there a problem." I looked back at him and shook my head.
"No Mr. Walker. Matt was telling a particular joke I didn't care for
that's all. One that just happened to blow up in his face." I said with
a frown, but that frown was slowly turning into a scowl. I didn't know
what I was going to do about any of this actually. It was already out
of hand. I waited for Walker to head off before I turned back to Matt.
"Can't this gathering be rerouted somewhere else." I said in a huff my
head tilting down slightly but my eyes looked up at him. I wanted
something, someone to intervene but it was hopeless there was only me
and they want to bring a keg into my house.

Matt gave me a helpless look and it was neither charming nor
appreciated at the moment. "So what are we going to do?" He asked me
trying to warm up to me a little and I swear if I didn't know any
better he was trying to flirt with me. There was no secret that I liked
guys and I got ragged on majorly, but there's only so much you can
control, but I can handle myself and Matt's always been good about it.
This however was just taking the cake we're not that close, but we're
friends or maybe I should say more of acquaintances. I didn't want to
think about it really. That strange haze of red was dancing around in
my head just ready to fall, but I wasn't going to let that happen. I
just needed to breath I needed to think this all through. You know gain
some perspective or whatever you wanted to call it. Course that was the
rational part of my brain the rest of me was just screaming for me to
beat the hell out of him find Jess grip her by her stringy hair and
well give kick the can a new meaning, but I was telling myself to stay
calm let it flow through me, from me or something. I wasn't in the best
of moods and Matt just kept looking at me. He wanted and answers, he
needed one and I felt like that chick from Grounded for Life. I just
wanted to scream and storm off, but I opted for the mature approach.
"We...we..." I told him huffing a bit and I just pacing back and forth
muttering under my breath. He blinked a couple of times and just looked
at me when it dawned him. "You knew?" He blurted out.

"You're a quick one Sherlock." I rolled my eyes. I'm not going to say
it because I had a better quip already, but I left it alone. "Of course
I knew. " I told him. "I've known for a couple of days I was just
waiting for someone to tell me. You...Jess...someone. You know let me
know how I could make my home more hospitable." I rattled off heading
towards the door. "My house and you want to throw your party. This is
about you and Jess, not about me." I pressed my finger to his lips.
"Don't even say another word Dr. Feelgood because it's not going to be
anything but sweet little lies and I've had enough of them for today."
Moving away from him I headed towards the exit. "What about the party
Pack?" I called out and I just kept walking towards the door before I
turned. "Maybe you should take your chances and see what's going to
happen Matt." I said looking down at my feet. I can't believe I'm doing
this, but you know what? Not much I can do if I don't let them have the
party I'll be a pariah in school more so than I am now and I'll never
get a moments peace. "I guess I have some things I need to do before
everyone arrives right." He just beamed at that. "And now Mr. Stuart
I'm not doing this for you." My eyes narrowed. "As far as I'm concerned
you went from major league jerk to raving bastard with this." Pushing
against the door with my back I slipped out heading down the walk
towards the buses. I guess that's what dad was out at the dealership
for looking over cars for me or something. I just wish he had went
another day now.

Sighing softly as I got on the big cheese I heard Matt calling out my
name as the doors close, but I didn't look at him. He had a bit of a
frown on his face, but what's said is said right. I didn't hurt him he
just liked to be liked around school, but I am who I am right? You're
not going to be liked by everyone. Mom told me that one. Sliding into
one of the seats in the front I let my head hit the bar. "Fuck!' I
muttered under my breath as the bus pulled off. It didn't take long to
get home, but I wish it did. Now I didn't want my parents to go I so
desperately wanted them to stay. If they stayed I would have an excuse
I could work with. They were looking for a liberating experience and
what better way to crush than with the two words, Parental Units. That
would squash a party within minutes. I could spread a rumor right here
on the bus but I know the people that lived around me would let on that
I was lying. I could make like I was sick I just thought about ways I
could get thing canceled without me having to suffer the full brunt of
resentment. I know it would be taking the easy way out but they
wouldn't care if I said I didn't have any knowledge of this they would
give less than a damn actually.

When the bus stopped I looked up towards my house with dread. Most
peopled started calling it the house from Charmed...it was a Victorian
Manor and what not except ours had a wrap around porch. It was cool
house lived here all my life and my mother lived in it when she was
younger it was left to her by her aunt and what not. Never knew the
woman. She died the year I was born. Actually six months I was born
there were pictures of her scattered around the house. We were well
off, but not stinking rich not that it matters much to me either way.
We were who we were. My parents always did what was right and I tried
to live up to their expectations though it all got strained when I came
out. Couldn't be helped reactions varied mom stopped talking for about
a day and dad well he got talkative he wanted to know if there was
something he did, if he wasn't there for me enough. It wasn't any of
that. I was just who I am and they needed to accept that and they were
starting to but I knew deep down that they still weren't comfortable
with it. It's something that you have to give time. People think it's
so cut and dry but there's a lot of adjustments that I have to be made
on either side from the parents and from the child. They have to deal
with another part of your life that was more or less thrown into and
you have to deal with them being apart of your life that you kept
hidden from them. It's all so weird, but you make your way through it
and you give them what they need. You give them time. Don't rush it
don't pressure them because isn't that what you ask them not to do, not
to pressure not to rush things just to give it thought and time. Accept
me for who I am not what you want me to be, but you have to accept them
for who they are not what you want them to be. You can only
hope...course right now the only thing I could hope for something to
happen to the house, sinkhole? Earthquake...doubtful. Freak
tornado...hells no.

"Packard..." I looked over at the guy who called my name who was
hugging up on his girl. "Trent..." I said with an equal amount of
enthusiasm. He smirked at me and whispered to his girlfriend. What was
her name again...I tend to forget. "I'm holding up the bus here Trent
if you have something to say rattle it out and let me get on with my
day." He chuckled no I wasn't mousy and I wasn't scared I was just the
same person I always was. I just didn't want to be bothered with people
at times, because they didn't have much to say when they did I listened
and we went on about our business. "This party isn't going to be
flooded with a lot of homos right? I was thinking about inviting a
couple of my friends from another school..." More people was the only
thing that ran through my mind. What if everyone was doing that?
"...And I want them to have a good time not pressed up on the wall
because you and your friends want to play pig 'n' poke." I bit my
tongue holding back, gripping the bar with every ounce of restraint I
hand. "You know that's not what you told me last Saturday, Trent. You
said you enjoyed every minute of it. I thought we could get it on while
what's her name gets toasted." I said with a smirk. "I mean you
couldn't get any action last weekend..." I didn't chuckled I just blew
him a kiss and he just got nervous. Phobes you gotta love him I so know
he's ready to come out of the closet. Yeah he wasn't with me, but I've
seen him trolling sometimes. I smirked walking over the bus and I could
hear Cindy yelling and getting hysterical. That made me feel better,
but I was still going to go through hell tonight.

Walking up the path towards my house I headed up the stairs and the
door opened and I looked up at a man in his late forties graying hair
and I arched my brow as he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down the
stairs. "Um hi to you too dad." He just remained silent dragging me
like a little rag doll mostly because I let him. His blue eyes had that
gleam to them and I frowned. What did I do this time? I kept silent as
he pulled me around to the garage. "E...I was hoping this wasn't going
to be rushed, but your mother and I are running late. They want us at
the airport a little earlier. " He explained. "I don't want you driving
our cars at all." He told me and I nodded. "Not that I would be going
anywhere dad, but there is the bus and what not." I said shaking my
head. "I'll manage. I have a couple of things planned this week." He
looked at me suspiciously and I rolled my eyes. "Nothing like
that...and people always say teenagers have the gutterminds." I snorted
when he hit the garage door. I looked over at him. "You know the
exhibit at the museum and stuff like that. Movies...I do have a life
and doesn't involve me behaving like a deviant like you and mom think."
God...I just wanted to scream. Just one little scream. I promise I
won't pierce any eardrums. Can I jump up and down? "It was just a
thought." He said. "The wrong thought...that's not me dad. If I was
seeing someone you and mom would've met him by now." I told him simply.
You know that's why I came out so I wouldn't have to hide anything from
them, but they insist that I hide thing still. Alex can I have Lack of
Trust for a thousand?

It wasn't until the garage door clicked in place that I looked over at
it and I saw the drop top Beetle. Definitely the old one. I blinked a
couple of times and looked over at my father. "Dad..." I felt a kiss on
my cheek and I was totally floored. I totally walked into this one. I
was shocked beyond belief. "Your father wanted to get you something a
little more up to date, but I know that's the one you wanted." I looked
over at my mom and she smiled. Definitely not a matronly mother, she
wasn't at that point in her life. I don't thinks he would ever be. She
was like a cross between Goldie Hawn and Audrey Hepburn. It's like she
had their looks blended well together, but she had all of Audrey's
class. I mean it's not like Goldie didn't have class, but there was
something about Audrey, but she did have Goldie's energy. I smiled
softly but still I gave dad a bit of scowl, but it faded. "It's mine?"
I said kid like for a moment. "Course it's yours. I told you we'd get
you one when it was time." He said with a smile. "I know you fell in
love with the drop top beetle when you watched V. You just loved it. I
knew where we could find one and fix it up. Didn't take that long to do
so but your father kept looking in dealerships regardless." She looked
over at him shaking her head with that Mother's knows best look in her
eye.

"You don't have to bus anymore kiddo." She told me with a smile and
walked over to dad. "But this doesn't mean you're going to be gone for
days at a time. " She tossed the keys to me taking a deep breath. "But
you can get acquainted with the bug later. The car is going to be here
to take us to the airport soon and there are a couple of things I want
to talk to you about before we leave. Edward get our bags." She said
softly as she slipped her arm into my mine walking away from the
garage. Dad went through the back way as we came up around front. Uh
oh...please don't tell me see knows. I don't want to deal with that,
but if she does maybe they'll stay. Wishful thinking I know, but hey
it's worth a shot. I looked over at her with a soft smile wondering
what she wanted to talk about. "What's up?" She paused for a moment
biting on her lower lip. It was something big because she would've
already been going at it by now. "I know we've all had a tough time
dealing with what you told us. That your gay, but you're just going to
have to be patient with us little one. Lord why did she have to call me
that. I was almost seventeen you know.

Looking over at her I was about to say something, but she smiled. "We
love you and that's what matters most. Your father has been more forth
coming with his feelings, but for me...it's still taking time. I
thought I knew my little boy. I thought that there were no secrets
between us. That you could come to me with any and everything." She
brushed her hand along my hair. "I'm not saying that it's a bad thing,
that anything's wrong, but I know that it's going to take time for to
understand this." I sighed a little because this sounded like she was
blaming herself. "Mom you didn't do anything wrong. I was scared of a
lot of things. A lot of it can't even explain the fear was just there
you know. Fear you and dad, everyone else in the family, my friends."
Yes I have friends please don't give me that oh my God he does have
friends look. "I guess we both have things to think about. I should've
known that I could trust you, but sometimes it's hard. Hard to let go
of a secret like that mom. You can't just hope sometimes you need to
know and that's what was holding me back and now I know." I say softly
when the door opens. I give her a soft kiss on the cheek as dad comes
down the path and the car pulls up. I frown a little because I'm going
to miss them but also because I don't want to have to deal with what's
going to come after this. I mean the party and what not. I could
just...do nothing because I have to deal with it you know.

I gave my mother a hug and my dad too. I wasn't strung up on that I
would do PDAs for them because I had to live each moment, as it was the
last sometimes. Never know when something would strike besides they
were going to be gone for a week. "I know...I know." I told them. "I'll
be have. You can trust me and please don't believe everything Mrs.
Garrington says, because you know she'll have a lot to say when you get
back." She always does and it's not always the truth that's the
problem. My mother laughed patting my cheek lightly. I didn't want them
go. Can I go...Can I go? It screamed in my mind, but it didn't find its
voice as the door shut and I snapped out of it and the window rolled
down and my father gave em a stern look. "No Parties." I snorted.
"Parties? Dad who'd I throw a party for?" I said with a light laugh and
shook his head watching the car drove off and the only thing I could
think was, There goes my salvation.

Yeah there it went and they weren't coming back either. "I am having a
party. I am having a party!" I called out, but the car wasn't spinning
around. Damn. I looked over at Mrs. Garrington's house, which was two
doors down on the other side of the street and scowled. "Oh go on and
spy on someone else.' I muttered and headed up the path to the house. I
guess I was going to have a party. Yippee, joy. That meant getting the
house in order in five hours making sure that no one could trip or
break anything. Beer, they were going to by beer. All this was flowing
through my mind, but I didn't want to think about it. I wanted it gone,
I want it out. I couldn't handle this. Course as I got to the top of
the stairs ready to go in I heard someone calling name. "Ethan..."
Looking back towards the direction of the voice I scowled and frowned
as Matt ran up the stairs slapping me on back. "So it's on right? Come
on tell me we're going to have a kick ass time. This is going to be the
party to end all parties. It could last for days." He told me taking
the key from me and opening the door. I stood there for a moment
nibbling on my lip. "If there is a God, a real God he'll take mercy on
me now and suck my house under right now." Whispering the small pray or
should say plea for help all I could hear was Matt's voice talking
about how we should set up things. "There is no God." I muttered
walking in, but the night was young and little did I know that anything
could happen.

------Part 2

Matt had been here for two hours trying to help me get set up. I didn't
know whether to thank him or choke him. He was getting on my nerves.
Telling me this should go here and there and what not. It was supposed
to be a party at my house I know what should be put away. I didn't want
anyone going upstairs because I wasn't going to be cleaning the smell
of sex out of the upstairs rooms or the basement. So they minus well
not even head that way. I had things that I needed to do. I needed to
make sure that people would have drinks and what not so that gave me an
idea. You know chips and drinks. They minimal snacks. I wasn't here to
feed the free world. Running up to my room I looked through my cigar
box and pulled out some money. Just enough to make sure we wouldn't run
out for the night. That's when I heard the creak of my door. Looking up
I saw Matt standing there and I just put the box down walking over to
him. "I said that no one is to come upstairs that includes you Matt."
No one was allowed in my room for various reasons. My room was typical
for a teenagers. I had the basic essentials including a computer a fish
tank and a snake tank also. I moved towards Matt sticking my hand out.
"Go down to the market and get some chips and drinks. Yeah I know you
guys are bringing a keg in but I don't want to drink and I'm sure
there's a couple of other people that probably don't want to drink
either." Pressing the bills in his hand he nodded with a smile. "And
wipe that smirk off your face." I told him. "You're still a bastard." I
said frankly before moving back to the cigar box. It had lots of stuff
in there some of it I found around the house, but most of it was
collected from other places.

On my wall over my bead was a poster of Daniel Goddard. Yup, I was a
fan of Beastmaster, but I he was cute there was no denying that and on
the side were a couple of autographed pictures from various movie
stars. Some that people would recognize some that people would like the
one from Kim Rossi Stuart. Most people didn't know who he was unless
you've watched some foreign films and then there was on of Oliver
Martinez and then there was another of Tyler Christopher. What can I
say I like a variety, but who wasn't a fan at one time or another. I
saw Matt staring and I stared back. "I like who I like." I told him
with a light rise and fall of my shoulders before slipping off my bed.
"Go ahead and get the stuff before they get here." He was acting way
weird now, not to the point that I was getting nervous, but just weird.
"Yeah...I guess." He said. I wonder what his deal was. Who cares?
Sliding off the bed I moved the cigar box to it's hidden location in my
footlocker at the end of my bed locking with a soft sigh. I can't
believe I'm going to let this happen, a party of all things. I wasn't
going to pray for something to stop the party I knew that wasn't
happening, but I just prayed that everything went smoothly. You know no
hang-ups, no fights, no raids.

Hearing the door shut downstairs I moved towards the stairs heading
down looking around making sure that he was gone, but I wasn't happy
with what I saw next. "Shit." There she stood in the flesh looking
around and was already trying to move something. I could say something
about her roots were showing, but I decided to keep the peace for the
moment. Can't really make friends that way can you, not that I wanted
her as a friend, but I was going to be sharing air with her so that
counted for something right. That's the way I looked at it. That's the
only way I can look at it for now. "Jess." She looked over at me with a
sneer. Oh joy. "Matt told me what you said about the upstairs and
basement we can't do that. I mean people are coming here for an
unchaperoned event, unrestricted and uninhibited." She smiled walking
over towards me. "Not a house with a mini-chaperone." She stated
tilting her head. Tilting my head back letting my eyes narrow lightly.
"Well that's exactly what they're going to get if they try to go
upstairs or downstairs. The basement door's been locked." I told her.
"And anyone that tries to go up stairs will have to have my foot
surgically removed from their ass." I said with a soft, sweet smile.
"Capice?" Shrugging I moved towards the living room to make sure that
everything was removed when she gripped me at my arm. Looking over at
her my eyes narrowed. "You know you and your boytoy got that bad. You
need to stop that before you lose an arm or hand, something." Snatching
my arm from her she narrowed her eyes and I knew she was about go
Bitchcon four on me. No one made it to five, but few people made it to
four. I guess I was feeling lucky tonight.

"This was supposed to be something fun. Something was going to make you
a legend around school, but your fucking it up, Pack. You're going to
fade right back into nothing when we get back to school. Someone else
is going to have a bigger and better party by next week. Here I thought
we were doing something nice and all you seem to be doing is throwing
it right back in our faces." I tried my best not to roll my eyes at the
statement but I couldn't help it. "What a crock.." Is all I said and I
started moving things around the living room. I wasn't even trying to
focus on what she was saying because she wasn't saying much. "Please
tell me that's the end of it. I mean you can only banter on for so long
before you start to burn out a couple of your brain cells." Removing
all the crystal from the living room I think I was all set. Dining room
was already teenager proofed and what not. I hadn't heard anything from
her so I guess that was it. It wasn't until I felt a push and I
stumbled a bit and dropped one of the crystal figurines and it
shattered that her presence was made known again. "Oops.." She said
semi-apologetically, but I could hear it in her voice, see it in her
eyes. She did it on purpose. I closed my eyes and started gathering up
the fragments. "You know you should keep your trinkets and toys around
like that. They could get damaged." She said smiling. I could see her
out of the corner of my eye and before she could turn the back of my
hand came across her face. "Pakcard!" When I heard Matt's voice my eyes
closed for a moment and I just shook my head. "She deserved it." I told
him and I moved into the kitchen to throw the fragments away. She just
stood there holding her face, her cheek red and hot where the back of
my hand landed.

"What the hell happened?" Matt asked her and she just shrugged. "Prima
donna's having a issues." She snapped back nursing her cheek. "Did you
get the stuff. Trent's coming back with the kegs." She was already on
to something else not really giving a damn about the slap. "If he does
it again I'm snapping his fucking neck." Matt chuckled at the statement
knowing she wouldn't do it, but she was upset. "Oh my baby got a
booboo." He said in a cute voice lugging the stuff in. "I'm not kidding
Matt!" She snapped at him shutting the door once everything was in.
"Who the hell does he think he is?" Falling into a chair she looked
over at Matt shaking her head. "My guess is either you said something
or did something and he reacted..big surprise there you know. Pack's
not like everyone else. He doesn't tremble where your foot falls. You
did wreck his drawing and what not." He told her before slipping into
the chair beside her and kissed her cheek. "Besides tonight's going to
rock that's all you have to keep telling yourself. Don't worry about
the trauma drama. Stop trying to cause it for once. Sides everything
going to be alright." Matt said softly before brushing his lips along
hers lightly. Jess gave a smile back, it was genuine but it was missing
something. She was still pissed off at what happened, but what could
you do. Can't please everyone all the time you know.

Meanwhile I was in the kitchen shaking my head wishing I could just
change this all now. I didn't want to go through with this. I didn't
want to do anything. I wanted her out of my house. I didn't want anyone
in my house. I didn't want anyone anywhere. Muttering under my breath I
headed back out towards the living room and I saw them kissing and I
wanted to gag. How could he kiss her? I didn't get it and it wasn't
like I was supposed to. Maybe if I click my heels they'll blow away.
Clearing my throat Matt looked over at me with a cheshire grin and I
rolled my eyes. "Shouldn't you two be setting up the stuff for the
party." Not defiling my furniture. I do have live here. I clicked my
heels for fun, but they were still there. The party would be starting
soon and I would have to get changed not to mention showered. I didn't
want them running around my house, but I guess I had to trust them I
was going to have a large portion of the school in here soon enough.
Happy...happy...joy...joy.

Matt walked over towards me as I headed for the stairs. "Pack, you need
to lightened up it's not as bad as it seems. Jess is getting over it.
We're going to have fun tonight. The party's going to be a big hit. You
shouldn't let it get to you. Especially Jess. Don't let her get to you
man we all know she has her moments, but you have your moments too. "
He said with a grin. When I looked up Jess was already gone. "She went
home to change. You know the hostess can't show up late." I was about
to say something and shook my head. "Forget it." I told him heading up
the stairs. He moved out the door and I know it locks from the inside
the minute you close it so there was nothing to worry about. I was just
going to take a bath and let my worries slide away.

Walking towards my room I grab a pair of boxers and my robe and start
running a bath dropping in some bath oils. I just wanted this to go all
away. All my worries and all my apprehension. I wanted Jess to trip and
fall and break her leg, twist her ankle, but with my luck she'd hop her
way to the party so she could have her say. I was so through with this.
I didn't want to be the big man at school; I just wanted to be Ethan.
That's all I wanted. Nothing more, nothing less, but you can't always
get what you wanted. As much as I would like to I can't. Not my time I
guess. Slipping my clothing off I tossed it into the hamper and slipped
into the water letting my head rest against the back of it. Sighing
softly my eyes closed slowly as I drifted of. The party will be just a
couple hours tonight. It'll be over before it even starts and I just
drifted off for a moment. At least I thought it was moment.

When my eyes snapped open I yawned a bit pushing myself from the tub. I
looked like a prune...but what it had been what maybe thirty minutes,
an hour? Toweling off I slipped the towel around my hips and started
drying my hair when I heard noises out side. Not soft little noises
either loud, boisterous ones even. I didn't like the feel of this.
Looking around I picked up my watch. Three hours...damn it. I slipped
my boxers own along with my robe when I heard people yelling when the
music cut on. "Damn it's about time." The bass was pumping and I shook
my head moving towards the door. I didn't even know how I was going to
do this and how did they get in? The door was locked. They better not
had broken the lock. Fuck... I'm not about to go around dressed in a
towel peeking in and out trying to get to my room which was in the
other direction. I decided to use my parents bathroom...I guess it was
going to happen everyone was going to have a big laugh. Twisting the
doorknob I blinked a couple of times. "The hell.' Twisting a little
more I started pulling on the door. I was locked in. "Hey!" I started
banging on the door with my hands; my fists even trying to get it open
when I heard laughter coming from the other room. "Who's out there?" I
yelled out and the tone of my voice was a joking one.

I was pissed. Banging on the door I closed my eyes knowing that this
was too good to be true. Just when you think everything's going to work
out bam they get you. Moving to the hinges I tried to remove the bolts,
but they weren't coming off. I needed to find something to work them
out with. Moving to the drawers I started looking through them trying
to find something hope even. Frowning I knew it wasn't going to happen.
Far from happening actually. Sliding down along the far wall of the
bathroom I sighed hearing snickering on the other side of the door
before someone knocked on it. Moving up to the door I pressed my hand
against the door ready to kick it down, but fat chance of that
happening. "I hope you're enjoying the party, Pack." I instantly knew
who it was on the other side. "Jess open the door." I growled on the
other side. "Can't do that, Pack. The doorknob's broke." She said with
a unseen smirk, but it was in her voice. My fist hit the door, but it
didn't even moved. It stayed in place and I snorted, but she didn't
hear. "So sorry that you're going to miss the party. I'm sure we'll
have someone out here by tomorrow. Well one can only hope you know."
She said with mock sigh. "Everyone's loving it. They can't believe you
donated your house to such a worthy cause." Snickering she tapped the
door a couple of times with her hand. "You'll be alright. It's not like
you're going to die in there and I think we'll respect your wishes and
let people stay out of this room...oh and the Beastmaster poster. Such
a nice touch." She said snickering still. They had been in my room.
Kicking at the door I heard the door to my parent's room close and I
ran against the door and when I hit I hit the ground and just looked up
sighing. "This is the worst night of my life."

Closing the door behind her Jess moved down the hall smiling at
everyone turning her head around at some other people that wondered
what she was up to. She just shrugged really. "He just vanted to be
alone." She said in a Garbo like voice headed towards the stairs. Matt
was entertaining and didn't know she had got back and went through the
back door she left unlocked. She found me sleeping in the tub and
decided to take advantage of the situation you know teach me a lesson.
Good thing for her that Trent stopped by and rigged the door for her.
The house wasn't a mess, but it wasn't pretty either. Chairs were
turned over and the couch was turned over too. People dancing
everywhere. People were in my room the other rooms it was the party of
the year and I had no control over what was going to happen. "Girl what
did you do?" Cindy asked and Jess shook her head. "Didn't do anything
he didn't really want." Slipping her arm over Cindy's shoulder they
headed down the stairs and started dancing to the music. Jess slipped
into Matt's arms and grinned. "Don't worry Pack's just doing what he
does best sometimes, brood. He'll be done in an hour or so." She told
him moving out to the dance floor. "Told you that he'd see things our
way. Just have to trust me babe. Not much else for you to do." She told
him slipping her hands down to his waist biting her lower lip as the
songs changed and they let themselves get taken away by the
music.

Everything was going full swing by now. I just didn't know how bad it
had gotten. Remember that party for Ten Things I Hate About You? Kinda
add in Weird Science and the party from Never Been Kissed and you
pretty much have an idea of what it was like around my house. People
sliding down the basement stairs on trays, sliding around on the
kitchen floor that was drenched with water. People dancing on the
tables and furniture, but not one of them dared to go outside that
would get the cops here quick. I'm sure that cops would be coming
regardless, where's Mrs. Garrington. She would be the one to call the
cops, but unfortunately she had gone out for the evening to visit with
her sisters. Course I didn't know that. I just lay on the tile of the
bathroom floor looking at the ceiling knowing that I was going to be
dead, I was going to be something. I felt like my life was ending.
"Shoot me...shoot me now." Is all I said and I looked over to the door.
The knob wasn't turning and no one was in the room, but I can only
imagine the festivities that were going on in the other rooms. I didn't
want to think about it, but teenagers, beers...I should just run away.
I should get the hell out of here. It's my lot in life. I should've
said no. I'd rather be a pariah than a strangled teen. My parents are
going to kill me. I'm dead face it dead to the world. Moving towards
the door I tried it once more and to no avail it didn't open. I could
pull all I wanted and shout all I want, but now one was coming to my
rescue. I was on my own...how depressing. Letting my head hit the door
I frowned a little a little. There had to be something, something that
I could do. Whining isn't going to make the door open. Moving back to
the drawers of the sink I started searching through them for something
that I could pry the bolts off with so I can remove the door from the
hinges. There had to be something in here. Something....

Jess was dancing with Matt when Cindy came go her. She hadn't noticed
her until Cindy tapped her on the shoulder again. "Jess?" She whispered
again pulling Jess away from Matt. "We'll be right back." She told him
and pulled Jess away. "Cindy...we were getting ready to go upstairs you
know." Jess said with a bit of disgusted look on her face, but
something had Cindy up and at it. What who knew? Cindy got up and at
about just anything. Walking passed the kitchen you could see a couple
of people sliding along the floor of the kitchen smirking as they
filled up another pitcher of beer. When you passed the dinning room
people were dancing on the table and you could hear it creaking from
the weight, but they kept on with it not caring. Wasn't their house.
That's all they knew. Cindy was looking for a spot to talk quietly with
Jess, but also find the person she was looking for. When she saw him
and stopped. "Do you know who that is?" She said motioning to the guy
in black. Jess turned and looked at him shaking her head. "I've never
seen him before." Jess said knowing she knew everyone here. "Maybe he
came with someone. I mean we all invited people from outside of
school." Cindy nodded moving around to watch the mystery man.

He looked like he was in college actually which got them wondering. He
was dressed in a pair of black slacks and some black lugz. He had a
black button down shirt on not really mingling just watching one would
guess, but it was more than that that grabbed their attention. The way
he carried himself. Brown shoulder length hair that was a touch wild,
but not too much and from what they could tell hazel eyes and he had a
bit of a rugged look to him. Definitely not a regular. "Why don't you
ask him to dance?" Jess said with a shrug. "He's cute, sexy even.' She
said with a smile when Cindy elbowed her. "You have Matt." Cindy said
shaking her head. "Hello." Cindy shook her head at her friend. "It's
not like you'd see many of us kicking him out of bed." Jess smirked.
"Well that's a given. Sides who says I can't look. It's not like you're
going to say anything." She was goading Cindy knowing that her and
Trent weren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. Trent needed to
clear up that indiscretion that was caused by Pack which was why he
gladly helped Jess with her little plan, but Cindy still wasn't talking
to him. She needed time. Perhaps she wasn't all there sometimes, but
even she had feelings, unlike Jess she took things seriously even
though she was a bit of a ditz at times.

Course one wondered when he kept turning girls down that asked him to
dance. He looked around like he was trying to locate someone, but no
one was fitting the bill. "Looks like he's looking for the perfect girl
if you ask me." He looked right at Jess for a moment then away. She
gave Cindy a smirk. "Maybe that's me you know?" Just then Matt walked
in and Jess sighed. "Maybe it's time I looked onto better
opportunities, bigger and better horizons." She said softly watching
him walk over but still out of earshot. "I thought he was the one."
Cindy said shaking her head. "The one...there is no one. He was the
flavor the moment. Maybe it's time I dipped my spoon in something a
little more rich, a little more decadent." Jess said walking towards
Matt. "Hey!" Cindy couldn't believer her but she could at the same
times. "Cindy just wanted me to see someone she had been scoping out.
No worries." She told Matt as he turned his head around. "Who?" She
pointed the mystery guy out and Matt nodded. 'I've seen him before." He
said with a nod. "You have...what's his story?" She asked beckoning
Cindy over. "Matt knows him." She said nodding. "You do? " Cindy was
all ears now. "I didn't say that, but I've seen him around. You know
around town and around the school some. Probably a slacker or
something." Matt smirked at them both. "Slacker? I think not look at
the way's he's dressed. Not like one of your loser friends." Cindy shot
out. "Loser friends? You're just saying that because you and Trent are
on the outs...again." He reminded her. It wasn't the first time that
Trent and her going into it, but never over something like this.

"Look he's over here at a high school party and he looks like he's in
the middle of college or something and he's scoping out high school
girls. Probably going to feed her some line about how he's looking for
the right girl and just looking for someone mature, but he hasn't found
that right girl at school, or some sappy shit like that." He was
looking right at Cindy as he bantered this all out. "In other words
he's looking for an easy lay." Jess was intrigued though and it didn't
go over well with Matt. "What?" She said when he gave her look his arm
loosening from around her. "What...nothing's wrong with that. I mean
sometimes that's all you want, Matt. You know nothing complicated, but
sometimes you like a guy who knows what they're doing not that I would
do something like that." Matt knew other wise the was she looking. It
just got him to think this and the last couple of days. "Cindy if
you're interested why don't you talk to him?" He said with a shrug of
the shoulders. "I mean just because the 90s are over doesn't mean you
have to stop making the first move." He told her. "Excuse me?" Course
they were all beaten to the punch with the stranger made his way over
to them. Tall, dark and handsome not to mention mysterious crossed
through Cindy and Jess' minds.

"Hi." Jess was the first one to speak. "Hey." Slipped from Matt, but
Cindy was still silent for the most part just losing herself in his
eyes. He shook his head looking at all three of them. He had a velvet
tone voice, but there was a bit of a rasp, but not that big of one.
It's just like something straight of the movies. "I was wondering if
anyone had seen Ethan." He glanced around looking, searching someone.
"Ethan?" Jess and Cindy said. "Pack.." Matt said simply. "Ethan's not
around. I think he's upstairs actually. Jess?" Matt looked over towards
her and she rolled her eyes. "Packard's upstairs in his parents room.
He wasn't feeling well. Lying down and what not. Just didn't want to be
bothered." Not exactly the truth, but somewhere around there she
thought shifting her weight. "I was about to go and check on him. You
can come up if you want." She told him. Matt didn't like the sound of
that. "It's urgent that I speak with him. I've been trying to get in
touch with him for a while now." He stated looking to Matt wondering if
he offended him somehow, but it didn't matter really. Looking around
again the stranger shrugged. "Is someone going to get him or do I have
to go up myself." He said simply just when a commotion started. The
door was pushed open and group of five people walked in. Two women and
three men walked in. They were dressed like ordinary people, but
problem was they were carrying a guns with them. They didn't hide them.
They just looked around and the stranger leaned over looking towards
the front of the house along with everyone else.

Jess blinked a couple of times and everyone stopped dancing and the
music was turned off more like the stereo was kicked off the stand and
it crashed onto the ground. "It's important that I speak with Ethan
now!" He stated again when Matt nodded. "Um..." Jess was already
heading towards the commotion. "Excuse me." One of the women, one with
red hair grabbed Jess and turned her around pulling out a knife
pressing the blade against her neck, but not pulling it against her
skin. Jess froze instantly wondering what the hell was going on.
"Jess!' Matt called out moving towards her but the man they were
speaking with gripped him and pulled him out of their sight before they
could look that way. He started up the stairs and looked to Matt. "If
you value her life and all their lives you'll tell me where I can find
Ethan." He told him. "It's important that I get to him." Matt pulled
away from him. "What the fuck? I need to save my girl." Matt snapped.
"She's as good as dead, they all are if you interfere." He told him
simply and continued up the stairs but Matt wouldn't listen heading
down the stairs when he saw Cindy moving towards them. "Let her go."
She said her brows furrowing. The quintet looked at one another and the
redhead smirked and looked at the bald man in the group. He pulled his
gun and shot her right then and there. There was screaming but it was
silenced when they looked around Jess just started screaming as she saw
Cindy hit the floor shaking as she coughed up blood and the pain
coursed through her body. She pressed against the floor when Trent ran
pass everyone. "Cindy! " She looked at him and she just coughed again
when another shot was fired in her forehead. "It was taking to long."
The bald man stated coldly. Jess closed her eyes afraid to move, afraid
to breathe.

When I heard both shots I closed my eyes. What the hell is going on
down there? I started kicking on the door again when another shot was
fired and the power went out in the house and I pulled back from the
door shaking like a leaf and all I heard was screaming and shouting
followed by another series shots and everything went silent, but the
power didn't come back on and all I could do was remain pressed up
against the wall when the door to my parents room opened and closed.
Looking around I pulled the lighter and the Lysol hearing the doorknob
jiggle a bit and the door open and I hit it. The lighter clicked and I
pressed the Lysol letting the stream of flame fire out towards the
person at the door.
--------02-24-01

The moment the flames came out towards Matt he pulled back and yelled
at me. "Pack what the hell are you doing?" He muttered looking around
as he moved towards the other door to close it to make sure no one came
in. We still didn't know what was going on down there. I stopped the
flamethrower by now, but I didn't move. I was still on the floor
actually when someone came in. It was the mystery man. I didn't know
who he was so I was getting ready to let the flames go again when he
looked to me shaking his head. "Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you,
Ethan." No one's really called me Ethan except my mother. I mean dad
calls me Ethan off and on between that and "E". Pausing I wasn't sure
what to think until Matt came in looking around helping me up. "I don't
know who he is but he's the real deal." He said with a nod. "Well
something like that. He was looking for you before the others came. "
He said with a frown. "What the hell is going on?" I was trying to find
my bearings, but unfortunately that wasn't happening. I was feeling a
bit out of sorts with the gunshots, power going out and people
screaming. I think it does that to you. I was basically seeing forms
right now I could make out faces, but we were still in the dark. Moving
around the bathroom I started searching the drawers for a flashlight.
Finding one I clicked it on and looked at them both. "Now is someone
going to tell me exactly what the hell is going on. You know the power,
screaming, bullets being fired of." Matt looked at me to the other guy
before walking out. "They got Jess and I think they shot Cindy." He
told me moving towards the door to open it. Before he could even get it
open mystery man was slamming it shut with his hand. "No." He said
softly. "I'm sorry but there has to be another way out." I was still
confused. I didn't know what that guys deal is, but they did have guns.
Just remain calm. I kept telling myself that moving towards the window.
"Last time I checked I was still pretty normal. You know no super human
strength, no bionic limbs. I can't make a jump like that." There has to
be another way, something. I was still processing what Matt said.

I didn't know what to do. I felt like I should try to take on what was
down there. Ok I must be out of my mind. " Are you out of your mind.
What about Jess? And Cindy?" Matt said looking at the guy and then to
me. "Pack, there has to be something that can be done." I frowned for a
moment before I decided to say something. I can't just leave them like
that. "Sometimes decisions must be made that you're not proud of, but
they still must be made. What done must be done." The mysterious guy
said. I was tired of thinking of him as the mysterious guy though. 'But
some of those people...are his friends." I said knowing that no one
down there really cared about me. They could give less than a damn, but
I can't let that play into right now. I needed to do what was right.
What my parents would want me to do. Just then everything went silent
and we could hear Jess yelling and screaming as she brought upstairs.
"There isn't any time. Never enough time." I frowned when the doorknob
to turned. That's when I felt the hand against my back pressing me
down. Hitting the floor I shot was fired and Matt hit the ground. Was
Matt hit? It was the only thing that went through my mind, but he
looked at me and wondered the same thing about me. It wasn't until Jess
hit the floor spasming for a moment that we realized it was her. She
was shot from behind. "Jess!" Matt cried out clawing his fingers into
the carper of the room as he tried to make his way over towards her. It
was the bald guy from downstairs. I didn't move for a moment until he
started to come towards me. Looking up at him I wasn't sure what to do,
I was starting to freeze, lock up even when.

"You..." Was all he said looking down at me. You? Me? Who? What the
fuck? Cocking his gun I pushed back ready to run when I saw cloak
rippling in the air, but was actually mysterious guys trench as he
launched over me. Leaping towards the Bald Man he pulled two daggers
from his side. If someone had told me about this I would definitely not
believe it was happening, but here it was unfolding right before my
eyes. I proceeded to watch him kick the bald man in the face landing in
a crouched position in front of me. Rising quickly he slashed at his
chest and his throat moving faster than I had seen anyone move before.
The bald man recovered just a quickly even though the gun was knocked
from his hand. He pulled his own blade and struck out at my protector,
I guess that's what I should call him. My protector moved with great
ease and skill a grace I had never seen before as I dodge the movements
of the bald one before plunging his blade into the side of him. The
bald man fell to his knees as I made my move to Matt who was in tears
of Jess. He did care about her. I know he did, but we needed to get out
of here. "Matt!" I called out to him, but he didn't hear me. Jess' body
was pulled up against his like he was trying to will her back to life.
It shouldn't have happened like this. "Matt!" I called out for him
again and heard a groan from the mystery guy when he held his shoulder.
He'd been cut but by what.

Frowning I looked around and saw something sticking out of the wall.
It looked like a playing card. Looking down the hall I saw a woman
walking towards the room as she slipped another playing card into her
hand and she threw it. I just moved and heard the chink of metal as it
was diverted from reaching me by a dagger. I turned to the mystery guy
for a moment as I scrambled to my feet. Pressing the door close I slide
the dresser in front it trying not to panic, but I was panicking I was
out of control actually. "It's only going to hold for a couple of
minutes." I said closing my eyes wishing this would all go away. I
definitely didn't want something like that this to happen, but I can't
stop it now that it's started. Taking a deep breath I moved towards the
window. It was looking better and better with each passing moment.
Moving towards Matt I picked him up pulling him towards the window.
"Let her go." I said softly. He had to let her go. There was no way
going around it. She was gone. We needed to get out of here. I've seen
playing cards like that on TV the Joker uses them on Batman not to
mention I've seen them in the weapon magazine that comes to the house
for some odd reason. It's obscure or something, but that's beside the
point right now. Matt struggled in my grip and I frowned looking at
him. "It's going to be ok, but we needed to leave, Matt." He started to
let her go when we got to the window.

The others of the group were already at the door and I felt someone's
arms around us. Looking around I felt us kinda like pass through the
window it was almost like it wasn't there, but we were moving through
the air, not really flying because we were falling to fast, but mystery
guy kept us from crashing down. His movements were like poetry in
motion as we moved down to the covered porch and from there to the
ground. He looked us go and started moving, pushing me along glancing
to Matt who knew he had no other alternative, but to go. I couldn't
believe this. "What about..." He shook his head. "Worry about it
later." I saw my front door was open so most must've fled, but I needed
to get to the police or something, but no one was saying anything about
the police. I was thoroughly confused as to why they were after me, why
they were there who they are and who he is. I slipped away pretty much
tired of him guiding me in the direction he wanted me to go. We ducked
down an alley and headed towards the park. It was the only place I knew
I could go. I saw some strange things, but something tells me that
there's more. I have to keep a calm head, but Cindy...Jess, and I'm
sure there's more. Just then I did hear the siren's of the police
passing by the alley as we ran down it. That wasn't the only sound I
heard. I heard someone ralphin. Turning my head back I saw Matt bent
over blowing chunks. I don't blame him either. I waited for him even
though the other guy seemed pressed to get out of here, don't blame him
either. Needed a spot where we can lay low, talk I don't know take it
all in. I need to take it in. I need to just calm down, I had started
shaking and it didn't feel like I was going to stop any time
soon.

"I'm alright." Matt said with a bit of a frown, but we didn't move
until he was ready. Wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt he
nodded and we started moving on. I guess mystery man knew I was moving
unless Matt was coming. Everything happened because of me. If I had
told them no, no one else would be dead, but...would I be alive. That
was the question I guess. I don't thin I would be. I think I would be
laid out somewhere probably in my house lying in a pool of my blood. At
least everyone else would be alive. Jess was a bitch and I wished a
limb or two broken or her hair to fall out, but not death not like
that. I looked over at Matt as we moved down the street towards the
park. Her blood was stained on his shirt. That can't be good. I can't
believe this is happening. I can't. It's all a dream, it's nightmare
and I haven't woken up yet. Something like that. I don't know. Course
when we entered the park I knew the perfect spot to go. I moved right
for the amphitheater and I slipped up under the stage. I've been here
many times. Closing the door behind us I looked towards Matt as he sat
down and then towards the mysterious one. He didn't say anything. He
just went moving about placing stones around the area before sitting
down. "Stay between them." He said with a nod. "As long as you stay
between them they can't find us...it shield's them from their mind's
eye." He told us. Matt glanced to me giving me a look I just shrugged.
He's been helping us out pretty much so far. I wasn't about to say
anything. I was just going to go with it. I wasn't going to make sense
of that. Had too much to make sense of already. Frowning I pulled my
legs to me as the mysterious one pulled his coat off then followed by
his shirt. The cut on his arm wasn't deep enough to be a gash, but it
was deep.

I moved towards him and looked at it. "I have something for it." He
told me with a nod. So solemn, so stoic...God am I having Terminator
flashbacks or what. Frowning for a moment I watched him reach for a
pouch on his belt and he pulled out what looked like a balm. It was
rolled up in a piece of leather cloth. "I'll put it on you." I said
with a nod. I felt like I needed to do something. Matt just closed his
eyes. I didn't know what to say. "It's not your fault, Matt." I told
him as I applied the balm to the mystery man's arm. I couldn't help but
check him out. He was built like Daniel Goddard, a little more solid if
it's at all possible. There was a light dusting of dark hair across it
too. I just concentrated on tending to the wound. "No it's not your
fault, Pack, it's his." Matt said finally as he stood up and moved
towards the other guy and three a punch. I was pushed out of the way
hitting the ground. The hell. Looking up I saw Matt on the ground and
the other standing. "I'm not here to fight you.' He said simply. "You
knew what was going on and you said nothing." Matt yelled at him.
"Guys, this is so not the time." Matt just scowled at me. "He knew
something was coming, but didn't say a damn thing. He was just
concerned about finding you. He's been here for almost a week. I've
seen him. He's had plenty of time. You could've told the police
someone. You could've stopped him before he even got home." It really
was my fault, but I couldn't let this go on. I can't let them just go
at each other. It's not fair to either of them. I just wanted this all
to stop. I wanted them to stop, but I don't think that would be
happening any time soon. Most of it was coming from Matt and he was
angry, angry at the world and if he's thinking like me, angry at
himself.

Matt tried charging him again and I stood up to block him, but I was
pulled out of the way like usual. I wasn't pushed to the ground this
time. The mystery man stood his ground. Granted Matt could take most of
the guys at school I don't think this would really be happening here. I
mean the guy looked like he could take him down with one punch. "Matt,
stop! It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault." I snapped out
tired of everything. I think I was dealing with this well, but I was so
ready to fall apart that you wouldn't believe how shaky I was right
now. Taking a deep breath I just wanted it to stop. I wanted him to
stop. I wanted them all to stop. "No more fighting...if it's anyone
that should be kicking any one's ass it should be me." I snorted out
falling to my knees. I don't know what it was, but then I just started
to hear a chuckle and then a down right laugh. Looking up I learned
that it wasn't just from Matt it was from mystery man too. "I'm glad
you both agree that you find my outbursts amusing." They both just kept
laughing and then Matt started crying joining me on the ground. "It's
no one's fault. You didn't know it was going to happen. I didn't know
they were going to find you so quickly." He told us softly. "Just
something we all do so easily you know place blame. Place blame on
others, place blame on ourselves. Can't escape it...it just happens.' I
told him softly, but that's beside the point.

"Pack...it's alright. Don't apologize for me. We all have been through
some tough shit, but we'll deal. We need to go to the police that's
what we need to do." I looked over with a nod then looked to the
deciding factor. For some reason I knew he was going to say no. There
was no ands, ifs or buts about it for him. It was in his eyes. "They
wouldn't understand." He said with a nod. "Then make us understand
what's going on around here. I wish someone would say something, but
I'm pretty lost about what's really going on." I told him honestly.
"You got that right...why are they after Pack? He didn't do anything to
anyone. Doesn't make sense...and who the hell are you?" Matt added. I
was curious about all of that. I wanted to know anything he could give
us. Anything that would help make sense of this. Anything that would
give me a real reason to believe him. A reason that would make me trust
him though I felt like I already should. Just then the stones he placed
around us started to glow and he looked up. "They're near..." He said
softly and that sent a shiver down my spine. I was ready to jet, but he
gripped my arm shaking his head. I don't know how the stones are
glowing and I don't know what's happening. These are things I tend to
generally not like. I know I can't control all situations, but I would
like some advantages you know. Frowning I closed my eyes for a moment.
"I can't do this." I whispered. Too much has happened already and it's
all starting to sink in. The adrenaline rush is fading fast. "As long
as we remain within the circle of stones we are shield from their minds
eye." He stated again. "Minds eye...just tell us what's going on.
You're not making sense. Who are you?" I pulled away and just fell to
the ground and Matt looked at me. I was on verge of falling over the
edge. I didn't think I could handle anymore things happening. I looked
to Matt and then to Angel and he nodded sitting down. "My name is
Angel." He said softly. "And I'm here to protect you." Matt got a weird
look on his face that was shared by one of my own. "Protect him from
what? Those weirdoes?" He shook his head still angry a little. "From
those that would do him harm. So he might be able to fulfill his
destiny." Oh god someone's been watching way too much terminator. Does
he has track marks on his arm because I think I'm going to be sick....
"Are you on crack?"

-------- 3/30/01

Angel looked up over at me with a smirk on his face and I really didn't
think this was funny. Protect me from those who do me harm? He had to
be on crack something like that. I don't know what this guy was doing,
but I wasn't staying. Standing up I was about to walk out of the circle
of stones when Matt reached for my arm shaking his head. "What?" I
asked him with a curious look on my face. I was trying not to be too
annoyed, but how could I be annoyed at a time like this. With
everything that happened, Jess getting shot and Cindy. This was
seriously fucked up, and now Angel lays this down on us. Closing my
eyes I pulled my arm from Matt, but his grip got tighter. "What?" I
asked again opening my eyes letting my eyes glance to his. He gave me a
look; not one of his I'm so smooth looks, but something different. "I
think you should hear him out or at least trust him. He could've left
us both he didn't even have to be there." He told me, but I couldn't
believe this was coming out of Matt's mouth. I must be dreaming, but if
this is a dream I'd hate to see what one of my nightmares look like. He
seriously laid out something on us that I find hard to believe. My life
is not a book or some TV show. Someone dropped something in the water
while I was taking my bath. I did doze off someone just set off a bong.
That explains it. I need someone to stay here with me. Matt was just
angry and now he's starting to believe him. "Matt it's shock. Thank you
for saving me, Angel, but I think I should be on my way." I tell him
with a curt smile, but Matt still has that vice grip on me. Letting my
head drop a bit, my eyes close before opening as I snatch my arm from
him, but as I do I lose my balance hitting the ground. Ok that
hurt.

Lying on the ground in an awkward position that would probably make a
yoga instructor cringe I stay like that for a few moments before I
brave an attempt to pull myself from this position. I wince a little,
but it's not that bad. However, it brings a chuckle from Angel who
brushes his hair from his face and Matt, well he just shakes his head.
"Man give it up, you walk out there and you're toasts. You saw them
come right by here and they didn't look this way. The rocks are glowing
and Jess' dead." My brow arched at his words, but he gave a look that
recanted the unasked question, more like the undeclared statement. "No,
I'm not in shock so don't even go there." Matt pulled his legs to his
chest just seeming to shrink with each passing minute and I wondered if
there was something that I go do, but there was no words I could say
that could make him feel better. The pain he felt was tearing him up
inside and even though I saw bits of it, more than bits actually, make
it to the surface there was a lot more stuffed down inside. He was
notorious for hiding away his real feelings, I don't even think he
shared them with Jess, not all the time. Knowing Jess she would just
trample all over them not giving a damn about who she hurt. It was her
way it was expected, but you didn't have to take it. I had my fair
share of matching wits with her. Sometimes she won, sometimes I won,
and sometimes it was a draw. Not the life I wanted, but I would take
that over this any day. People were dead, my house was a mess, my
parents what would they say when they got home. What would the
neighbors think? I wasn't worried what people would think about me, but
what they thought happened. Were they safe? Were my parents going to be
safe? What if they bide their time until my parents came back? This was
far from over any way I saw it, but what could I do? Fulfill my
destiny? Scoffing my eyes glanced to them both as I pulled myself
leaning against one of the support beams.

"So are you going to tell me what this destiny is? You can even go with
where you come from? I need something to work with?" I asked Angel
having a slightly skeptical look, but the look didn't hold. I was just
as lost as anyone else here. Probably the most lost of all when it came
to what was happening. Why hadn't the shock settled in, why hadn't it
grabbed a firm hold on me. None of this was easy and even as I tried to
work my way through it I thought I was going to cry probably more than
that. I wanted to bawl. Maybe I was being irrational, but I'm entitled.
Problem was there was nothing not a tear or anything. Maybe I was
heartless. Touching my chest lightly Angel arched his brow and for the
first time since we got here he gave me a smile that made me think
everything was going to be all right. He wasn't being condescending, he
wasn't patronizing me it was just a nice smile, not a smirk or a grin.
"You haven't lost who you are, Ethan. You are still the same person you
were when you woke up nothing's changed about how you feel, but the way
you're thinking is beginning to change. You will see that there are
different ways of approaching things. Different ways of approaching
life, it's problems and even arriving at solutions. How you look at
people and perceive them will begin to change. You will become a
different person, but it doesn't happen in a night. That much I can
tell you, that and there's much for you to learn. I came because you
needed me. Yes I was sent, but I heard the call I knew when the time
was right. No one could tell me that. I knew it." I looked over at him
and I just had a million thoughts running through my mind. I can't
believe this is happening. Can't be happening, but it is.

"That's all you're going to tell me? Us?" I motioned to Matt walking
towards him and I did feel sorry for him, but it wasn't pity. Everyone
knew that I liked him, but I didn't want something like this to happen.
Ok when you're sitting in study hall and you want someone's head to
explode maybe you do want it just a little, but I didn't think it would
happen not like that. "Matt?" I looked to Angel and he watched me the
movements and everything. It was like I was his little lab rat or
something. Kneeling down beside Matt before sitting on the ground I
brushed his hair from his face so I could see his eyes. At first when I
saw his hand come up I thought he was going to slap it away, but he
didn't he caught it but held on to it. I guess sometimes we need
someone to reach out to, to just hold onto let us know that we're still
alive. I guess it's the only thing that I can come up with at the
moment. Not like I'm about to guess otherwise. Looking down at my wrist
I forgot that I wasn't wearing a watch. It was on the nightstand in my
parent's bedroom. Well what's left of it, if there's anything left of
it. That sent a shiver down my spine. I guess I was trying to deal with
it as best I could, but I could I tell you I wasn't doing a good job of
it. I absorbed everything that was happening. I understood everything
that was happening. That all made sense. Well the fact that someone was
out to kill me, but the why? I couldn't absorb that. I couldn't believe
the reason the two weren't associating and that's what was causing the
problem for me. I guess part of me didn't want it to make sense, safety
precaution. Looking into Matt's eyes I gave a weak smile, the best I
could muster moving towards him to let him lean on me. "I don't want to
say it's going to be ok, because I don't know. I don't know what's
going to be what. We're all making it as we go on, just like we do with
everything else." My voice was barely a whisper when Angel looked over
at me. He didn't say anything, but his eyes said enough. He knew
something he wasn't telling me. I wasn't sure if that was intentional
or not, and it didn't matter, but it wasn't the time to bring it to
light. We needed to mourn even if I didn't feel like I was capable of
mourning at all. I didn't feel empty, I felt something but it wasn't
mourning. I know what it felt like to grieve, but right now I knew I
wasn't grieving. Whatever I was feeling I couldn't put a name to it. It
made me feel frustrated, but at the same time that I couldn't really
relate to what Matt was feeling, though in a way I did know what he was
feeling. Problem was I was slightly detached on the matter.

Maybe I was having one of those moments where you're looking at the
situation from out of your body; yeah I could only wish that would
happen. That was so far from what was happening right now that I didn't
even notice Matt slipping into my arms. Tightening my embrace around
him I looked over to Angel wishing he would say something, something
more than he had said already. He was just watching me and you know
what it was starting to freak me out. "Say something!" I said softly,
but the emphasis was there. I needed to hear something I needed some
noise. Too quiet out there and when it got quiet before found myself
waking up in a parallel universe or some alternate reality. I could
only hope for something like that, hell I didn't know it could be
happening and I wouldn't have known. I've heard stories about stuff
like that well read them, but that was beside the point. Looking
towards Angel I was waiting for him to say something when I heard the
soft breaths of Matt's breathing. He'd fallen asleep, but I could feel
my shirt was wet, he cried himself to sleep. I wouldn't have believed
it if I wasn't here, but I was here, this was happening. This was
anything but a dream or a hallucination. Far too real to be a
nightmare&;#8230; "You want to know what you don't feel anything.
You want to know if your heart has turned to ice, to stone to anything
but a living thing that's capable of feeling and
understanding&;#8230;empathizing." My eyes closed at Angel's words.
I wanted something more than that, but it was enough for the moment.
Enough to ease the doubt of my lack of compassion at the moment.

I don't know if everyone had doubt like that. It's like I didn't feel
human I felt less than human. I'm not sure if anyone could ever feel
like that. Didn't really matter to me, but even as I tried to psyche
myself out I knew it wasn't working. Holding Matt a little closer I
tried to make myself feel compassion, but I wasn't totally drained, but
there was something missing. When I thought about the others I felt
sorry that I ran out on them, but they were after me not Jess, not
Cindy, hell not even Matt, me and the reasons that Angel were giving
weren't adding up. I'm no one special as far I'm concerned I was just
Packard. "Do you care for him?" Of all the things to ask me? Where the
hell did that come from? My eyes shot over to Angel as I looked down at
Matt then over to him. "Um that's presuming a bit much there. Yeah he
gets under&;#8230;why am I even going there with you? He's my
friend, kinda, sorta. Just one of those things you can't really
explain. I can't explain it, not really. We have a really interesting
relationship actually, but he won't do anything but break my heart.
He's a heartbreaker, but I do care about him. I'm his friend. Sometimes
I can't believe it, but it's not like he's my best friend or something
just a friend that's hurting. He's lost someone he did love." Course I
wondered how he could love her, but love does strange things to us,
no?

"He's your friend that's all that should matter." He said in a bit of a
stoic manner. Made me wonder for a moment, my fingers drawing along
Matt's hair lightly. "What about you? Do you have any friends or do you
scare them all away with your magnetic personality." That was a bit
harsh maybe, but I guess what I was feeling had to come out someway.
"I'm sorry." It came out only a few seconds later, but inside it felt
like it was a few seconds to late. Too much had been said and done
already. I wanted this night to end. I wanted it to be over. I wanted
my life to be over. These were one of those moments that you wished you
had never been born. They were after me, if anything this was all my
fault. I can't make it better, I can't make it go away. It's just going
to sit there. Frowning for a moment longer I turned my eyes to the
glowing stones wondering about them. How did they glow? What was it
that Angel was sent here or came here to do? Why did it involve me? Did
it involve Matt? Was Matt going to be put through more pain? No more
movies, no more daydreams. It's time to wake up, but from what?
Life?
----- 4/3/01
That night left me with a lot to think about. Too much to think about
if you ask me, but things got even weirder when I went to sleep. The
images, the voices everything. It was all out of synch of synch like
they were trying to tell me something, but it couldn't come together.
Like something had slipped in between us and prevented s from making
that contact. It was just a dream right, didn't feel like one, felt
like anything but a dream, but the more I think about it the less I
want to remember. The images were horrid ones, people in pain my
parents or what I thought were my parents, they&;#8230;I don't even
want to go into it. I want to purge the images from my mind. I woke up
in a sweat panting and glancing around, but there was no one insight. I
didn't even see Matt. When did they leave? Why did they leave? Slipping
up quickly my eyes glanced about wondering if I was alone or if
anything happened. There were no drops or pools of blood so that was a
good sign, but it left me with an unsettled feeling. Walking away from
the spot where I slept I brushed my fingers through my hair wondering
if the police or the rangers came by. Park rangers that is, that's what
we called them though this wasn't that big of a park, it was bigger
than most, but not as big as Central Park or anything. Cracking my
knuckles I tried to calm myself, but it didn't seem to be happening.
Nothing seemed to be happening except for me getting more nervous. This
didn't feel right, none of this was right. I wanted answers and there
was anything but that coming. Angel knew things and maybe I could talk
to him about my dreams, but what would I say?

Hearing a footfall&;#8230;. I heard a footfall? Oh yeah. Definitely
freaking out here. Looking up to the stage which served as the roof for
the night I listened to the foot falls wondering if it was Angel or
Matt. Whoever was up there wasn't speaking they weren't saying
anything. They knew the value of silence, lucky me. Moving in step with
them I paused for a moment, eyes glancing towards the rock wondering if
they would give me a sign, but they just continued to glow. No
flickering or wavering just a constant glow that didn't seem to give
out or fade into the increasing light of the sun. Would they give me
some type of warning if danger was around? They did before, why doubt
them now? I was probably a little jittery being alone. Last time Matt
and Angel were here, but now it's just me. What if they needed Angel to
be near by to work right? This was frustrating as hell and if one could
see the expression that was spreading itself across my face they would
know my pain. My face was pretty much contorted into a mock tight eyed
joker visage, but it was more of a grimace than a smile. I wanted to
disappear, something. The footfalls continued until I heard someone
walk down the stairs and head off. A sight of relief was followed by
the close of my eyes. I guess they worked here. I hope. Angel and Matt
needed to get back soon or I was going to flip out. I could leave, but
I remembered what Angel said. They were looking for me, but there was
no real reason why they were looking for me. That was all up in the are
for all I know. They were just out to get me. That's the way I saw
it.

Moving around the circular enclosure I let my eyes glance to each of
the stones wondering what was so special about them? What made them
different than other stones? Walking towards the stones, I looked them
over searching for any markings on them. It was so odd, they looked
smooth, but I didn't want to touch it. What if they burned? Damnit why
did they leave? Nibbling on my lower lip I moved closer towards them
wondering if I carried one around with me if it would shield my
presence. One could only hope. The closer I got the stranger I felt.
There was a vibration coming from it and if I closed my eyes and
blocked everything out I could here the soft hum. It wasn't a very
melodious sound, but it was something. I've heard this before, this
sound. I didn't have perfect pitch but I knew a note when I heard one.
Every sound registers, as a note in some shape or form or fashion but
this one was just one continuous note. I can't pick out which one it
is. I was nervous more than nervous if there's such a thing, but I
wasn't terrified. Looking over the stone I sought to see if there was
anything on there maybe something I missed, but there was nothing at
first, but after staring at it for a while something began to appear on
it.

Small marks began moving across the stone in a rapid motion. At first I
thought I was dreaming again then I thought I was having a
hallucination, but I knew that it wasn't the case. Something was
happening here, but I couldn't tell you. "What the&;#8230;" I said
softly, but the words seemed to echo around me in whispers as I fell t
my knees reaching out for the stone until the palm of my hand rest on
it completely. There was a slight sensation that ran over me, but there
was no burning or anything it just felt weird. Jus as I got comfortable
with the sensations I felt my heart beating a little faster until it
was pounding in my chest, almost to the point where I thought my chest
was going to crack open. Becoming frantic I tried to pull my hand off,
but there was nothing happening. It wasn't stuck I fighting myself, but
the stone had an agenda of it's own as a surge of power passed through
the other stones then to the one I had my hand one. When the power
passed through the last stone it pulsed right into me knocking me back
with ease even as the dark haze fell over my mind slowly as I passed
out.

Lying there for what felt like hours to my body my eyes slowly started
to open, snapping shut when they opened completely. "Too bright."
Reaching around I tried to grab for the curtain to close it but I
instead fell out of the bed with a resounding thud to the floor. Which
was followed by a slur of curse words and a slight mumble or was it a
grumble either way I was highly pissed, but it faded when I realized
that I was in my room. "Ethan?" I heard her voice but I wasn't sure
until I heard the door open. "Mom?" I called out for her expecting her
to answer, but there was nothing of the sort. "Mom?" Jumping up to my
feet I moved to the door quickly wanting her to answer, but there
wasn't anything coming. The hall was brighter&;#8230;as bright as my
room. All this light was giving me a headache. I could hardly see with
all the light. Moving towards the my parents room I stumbled over a
couple of things trying to reach out for the wall to stop myself from
slamming into the floor, but it wasn't worth the effort as my hands hit
the floor hard causing everything around me to shake, no shimmer.
"Mother? Father?" I rarely called them that. I called them mom and dad,
the only time I called them mother and father is if I was pissed with
them or if I was scared and this was one of those moments.

"Ethan?" It was long and drawn out but I knew it was my mothers voice.
"Ethan?" It was my fathers that time, but each time I looked up I saw
nothing but blinding light. I couldn't tell if it was white or blue or
yellow. All I knew is that it so bright it was blinding me.
"Mom&;#8230;dad." I called out to them hoping my voice would reach
theirs. Standing up slowly my hands slid along the wall while my eyes
remained closed as I made my way in the direction I started out in,
towards theirs bedroom. I could still feel the shimmering sensation.
With each footfall it seemed to be getting stronger and their voices
growing more distant. I wanted to call out to them, but it would only
frustrate me more. They weren't getting closer. "What's happening!" I
cried out but there was no answer not even my name was spoken. "Mother!
Father!" I cried out for them again, as my hand pressed against what I
thought was door. Slipping my hand down to where the knob would be I
gave it a twist opening. The door swung and I looked around, more like
a head movement. My eyes were still snapped shut in fear of being
blinded again. "Mother?" I heard no response, but took a step forward
none the less as I gasped that slid into a scream as I felt myself
falling. I could feel the rush of the air slipping across my skin as I
continued my descent. Opening my eyes I looked around heart pounding in
my chest as I took a deep breath pushing myself up from the floor. I
hadn't fallen anywhere except out of my bed. It wasn't bright this
time. It was normal, completely normal.

Pressing my hand against the floor I got up wondering if this was just
one big bad dream. "Mother? Father?" I called out for them moving
towards the door determined to find my parents. If it's all a dream
even with Angel and Matt then my parents are here right? Snatching the
door open I felt a pull in the other direction causing my right arm
ripped itself from the socket. I cried terrified and in pain as I
looked at my arm, hand gripped at the doorknob, flesh torn right at the
joint. Reaching up to cover the exposed wound, my left hand met the
solid flesh of my right shoulder, arm still attached. Looking to door
knob I backed away letting my hands slide up to my face shaking my head
wondering what happened to cause this never ending nightmare. I wanted
my parents, hell I wanted Matt, Angel someone, but I was getting
nothing as I backed away from everything that was around me. None of
this was making sense. I was losing my mind and no one could stop it.
Reaching out for one of the walls I touched it lightly wondering if was
going to shattered, but I met a solid surface. I touched it again just
to be sure, sighing a bit of relief for the moment when my hand didn't
pass through.But when I removed my hand from it there were rings that
crossed out from it. Kinda like when you touch the water with our
fingertips or when drop of water hits the still surface of water. The
rings just continued to move across the wall until the reached the
edges and when they hit the edges the room began to shake and vibrate.
At first it was a soft motion, a soft feeling, but as the rings
continued to build up so did the motion until the room started to come
apart at the seams.

As the vibrations grew stronger the walls began to crack until they did
shatter like glass and when they did the images I saw. The blood, the
slaughters&;#8230; I didn't think I could take it. I saw people
ripped apart, skulls cracked, blades drew along the throats of others,
guns fire, endless rivers of blood that seemed to catch fire. The fire
ran rampant through the city never ending, never stopping and in the
middle of it all I saw myself desperately trying to get out until the
fire over took me burning me alive. As the image of me burned on I felt
my own skin began to sizzle and crackle under the flames even though
none of it touched me. The pain became so great that I cried out
wishing it to stop, but only grew until I felt something push at me and
then it pushed again and I cried out as the fire burned it's way
straight through me. Eyes closing I felt the shakes again as skin
blackened and peeled, blistering under the heat. Crying out again I
opened my eyes yelling out into Matt and Angel's faces. I could feel my
heart pounding in my chest as I looked at my arms and hands as Angel
pulled my hand from the stone. "Too soon." Was all he said, but I just
pulled away from them both shaking my head trying to make everything
stop. It was too much. "Too soon?" Too soon? That's all he could say to
that. I backed away from Matt pressing my hand out at him. "Don't touch
me." I still had the tingling, burning sensation moving through me. It
was too soon for what? "What are you talking about?" I snapped out as
Angel touched the stones repositioning them like there was nothing
wrong with them. I paused for a moment seeing a discharge of energy
pass through them all and I looked to Matt. He was obviously at a loss
for words. I wanted him to say something, but I didn't want him to
touch me. Everything still hurt and I still didn't know if this was a
dream or not. Too many times I've been fooled. They've already fooled
me once and twice, but it's so real. How can I tell?

"Angel I need some answers. I want some answers." I demanded my voice
growing weary by the minute. I didn't want any metaphysical statements.
I needed more than that. I deserved more than that. I had to have
something. Something that was concrete, something I could hold onto so
to speak. Abstract was out at this point. Looking towards Angel once
more Matt was silent all this time. This was totally freaking me out. I
was bouncing around the place never wanting to stop moving, but when I
did I watched Angel move towards me slipping his coat off leaping
towards me as he drew his blade, a katana from his side hidden, how is
beyond me, but my eyes just went wide. "These are the answers you
seek!" He hissed at me drawing his blade down at me. I could feel the
blade cutting my flesh lightly, but it still brought a wince out of me
that fell into a yell as my eyes snapped open. My breaths came fast and
shaky before settling into a smooth motion. Blinking several times I
could feel my eyes watering and the hum beneath my hand. Snatching it
from the stone I pressed down against the ground standing up slowly as
I looked around. "Angel? Matt?" I was waiting for something, but there
was nothing. "Mom? Dad?" Nothing again. There was nothing but the hum
of the stones that brought nothing but a tense sigh to my lips as I
stepped from them. I saw the images again this time they all fluttered
around me and I wanted them to stop. The glow of the stones grew for a
moment as they all passed a ring of energy threw them creating a circle
for a moment before sending a pulse of energy through me. I thought I
was going to burn again, but this time there was a sensation of peace
and tranquility that passed over me. There were moments of joy and
laughter at the same time, but this only lasted for mere moments before
it all stopped and I fell to the ground on my knees confused and not
able to understand what happened. I heard foot falls again, but this
time there was no one on the stage, there was no one on the stairs.
Looking around I saw Angel and Matt walking towards me.

Matt saw the look on my face the tears streaming along my cheeks, but
more importantly the cut through my shirt and along my chest. Blood ran
along in small rivulets, as I shook a bit. "Pack&;#8230;" He just
breathed out the nickname. I didn't respond my eyes drawing to his then
Angel before I closed my eyes again. "Is this real?" That's all I
wanted to know. "As real as you and me." Angel said softly. "You
weren't meant to go that far, this soon." He said softly. "Either way
the lesson has been learned and there's no turning back." He paused for
a moment as Matt gave him a questioning glance. "There is no going back
only forward. To turn back now would mean to go back to the place he
just came from. There is no loss in what he's experienced in these
brief few moments, but there is no victory unless he moves forward.
That is the simple truth. Nothing more, nothing less." Angel said in
that soft tone of his before he moved to the stones shifting them just
as he did in the dream but this time he sat down watching me for a
moment nodding his head. "Too soon, but sometimes we must meet our fate
rather than wait for it. For it is we who allow our destinies to unfold
in the end."

To be Continued in Aftermath