17 What Would Interest Big Brother in Merthyr Tydfil?

We've all got one. The guy or gal we've known most of our lives, who's gone a bit haywire. Maybe we have more than one since the great lock down, when, really, we'd been locked in, under threat of being locked up. You know the type I mean. Always was a little bit odd; slightly out of step, but not enough to drop them. It will be someone you've known a long time: just too long to dump altogether, even though you've seen the tinfoil poking out from under the flat cap they didn't use to wear. Mine is Dai. We keep in touch, sort of: we don't discuss "certain subjects". He knows what I think, and I know what he thinks, but I don't tell him what I think of what he "knows".
Anyway, what he didn't know that I knew, was that he had made his garage into a Faraday Cage. His people carrier sits on the drive day in, day out. I've seen it on Google Maps street-view. The image changes subtly every other day, so maybe he does have drones flying overhead constantly, like he claims. But what would interest Big Brother in Merthyr Tydfil? I found out about the Faraday Cage from his only other friend, last time I met Billy Whizz for a beer.

I made the mistake of ringing Dai. Perhaps he'd have been happier with something attached to a carrier pigeon's leg.
'Dai? That you?'
'Who wants to know?'
Although Dai worries about drones overhead, he keeps the same mobile number. He changes the handset weekly, but uses the same old Tesco Top-up SIM.
'It's me, Dai. Bob.'
'Is it though? You could be an AI-faked recording.'
'I could, but I'm not, Dai.'
'Tell me something about me that only you would know.'
This – to be honest –  was why we only kept in touch sporadically.
'You've got three nipples.'
'Everybody knows that, since I auditioned for Britain's Got Talent. Some bastard put me on YouTube!'
'You were at 54 S.U. and you know a guy called John Smith.'
'Shit Magnet! I remember him, always in the clag. Tech-y fellow. Knew his stuff, mind. Felt sor-ry for him my-self.'
Dai usually became more Welsh as our 'phone calls went on.
'What do you want, then?'
'I know why your car's parked on the drive. I know about the Fa-'
'Don't bluddy say it, Mun! Walls 'ave eeyurs.'
'Look. I'm stuck in Hastings with no car. I need to use the unmentionable thing. Can you pick me up?
'So 'appens I'm between jobs.'
'Great, I'll be at the 'Spoons in Hastings. John Logie Baird. See you when you get here.'
I disconnected the call in case his next utterance finished "Look you!"