80. It's the End of the World as We Know It.

It took a long time to play out. I insisted on the Mexican Spiral after every hand. Even so, the cards were against me. If I had Jack high, my opponent had a Queen. If I had a pair, he had two. I got nothing above a pair until the pile of Doubloons in front of me amounted to no more than a Singloon. At which point Lady Luck, or at least Lilith, dealt me three Jacks, on which I had to open. My second last coin had been the ante for the hand. By that time the sky was black with red stains, like the cards. The rainstorm still hadn’t arrived. Things looked black for me too. The odds of Satan being dealt a higher three-of-a-kind or anything at all that might beat my hand were close to nil. Or, if you like, in Poker, there are over a million ways to get a hand worth absolutely nothing. And I had almost nothing to bet with.

The Devil was looking at his two cards. They were close to his chest as they had been throughout play. He was rearranging his two bits of pasteboard incessantly. I couldn’t tell if this was a ‘tell’ or not. He had done it from the first hand. I’d folded when I’d had nothing, tried the occasional bluff. Nothing had worked. I was down to my last coin and I had something almost unbeatable.

‘Come on, Gabe. Place your bet.’ He said. Jehovah got up. He started a circuit of the table. Lilith ignored him, so did Satan. Their eyes were fixed on me.

I shoved my last doubloon across the table into another three-coin pot. Satan did the same. ‘Call. Now what, Gabe? The money ran out. What else you got to bet?’

‘You can have what you normally deal for.’

‘Do angels have souls? I’m not sure even he knows.’ Gee-Oh-Dee was intent on getting his 10,000 steps doing circuits of the table.

‘Just say we do.’

‘No go, Junior. I won’t take that bet.’

‘Well, let’s change the deal. I’ll take over from you and you fill The Big Man’s shoes.’

Lilith sat up ramrod-straight in her chair. ‘Wait a minute-’.

Satan made a zipping motion over his lips and I thought I could see steam coming out of Lilith’s ears.

‘What’s in that for me? If I say no, you’ve got to do Jehovah’s Job and I’m retiring to Pago Pago.’

I smiled, ‘ C’mon. I haven’t had better than a pair all afternoon. Or are you chicken?’

‘Ulama, please.’ Then he gave an ululating shriek that sounded like he’d learned it from some of his more deserving customers in the fires down below.

He looked at Lilith who dealt me two cards that I left face down on the table. The Devil picked up the three which completed his hand. There was no rearranging of them this time and the cards were held a little further from his chest. TAFKAG was on his n-th trip around the table and passing behind Mr D. The Lord Almighty shuffled his feet and his hand flew to his mouth. I’d discovered Satan’s ‘tell’ just a little too late.

The Devil laid four deuces and the jack of hearts on the gingham cloth.

‘Looks like you’re out of luck, Gabe. Show me what you got.’

I put the three cards I was holding on the table. The other three jacks weren’t much use against four-of-a-kind.

Lucifer was trying not to laugh. ‘And the other two, Gabe. Let’s see the other two.’

I flipped the first of them. It was the three of spades. I turned over the last card without looking. Satan’s laugh never got all the way out. Lilith hissed, ‘Yessss.’

The joker was wild, but not as wild as The Devil looked.

I stood up.

‘I’ll take care of Jehovah. I’ve got an appointment with Sam Sara. There’s going to be one more fallen angel amongst the Earthbound tonight.’

It was my last flight and I made it with Gee-Oh-Dee, all the way to Kansas, where I hoped Sam Sara was waiting. I felt fine.