Footnotes

The pipe depicted in “Ceci n’est pas un pipe” had never been smoked, because it wasn’t a pipe.

The man who erased all the non-persons from photographs taken in the Stalinist era never had his photograph taken, he sent a look-alike to have one taken for his identity card.

Schrödinger didn’t own a cat. He was banned from visiting the James Joyce Memorial Cats’ Home, Knock in 1955.

Most Banana Republics import their bananas.

The Flamingo Hotel does not cater to that particular avian species, except by special arrangement.

A man once asked Ewan Lawrie where exactly Gibbous House was, and who owned it at the time of asking.

All versions of Walk On The Wild Side that are “radio-friendly” are offically banned in Briĉabraĉ, as are non-state sponsored Radio Stations.

The person responsible for Donald Trump’s hair is a trained patisserie chef specialising in spun sugar items.

The Spanish Inquisition was disbanded after someone had expected a visit at the Vatican in 1834.

The term ‘Black Legend’ is not a racial slur, in spite of most of their contents consisting of them.

Charlie Chaplin experimented with wearing an opera hat and carrying an umbrella at first, but abandoned both when people didn’t laugh.

Most people do not read footnotes, so writers just write whatever they like in them.

Footnote:
Much of the above is utter tosh. I’d love to write the book that they were footnotes in, though.