golden

By facetoface

Tue, 12 Nov 2019
  • 669 reads
3 comments
 

 

what i thought i saw in your eyes when we were together 

were really lies of ‘i’m okay’

a surprise to see you joke and laugh away 

the golden 

the sparkle

the sunrise i associated with your hair, your clothes, your smile

melts away while you plaster gold over every surface

every crack in the wall is filled with the stuff

thick and garish and cheap 

it collects under my nails when i try to pick up the pieces 

put you together 

i’m wondering whether i’ll ever see gold again.

 

when you went away 

you took the gold with you  

and although it was garish and cheap 

it was better than no gold at all 

 

 

Certificate PG
Poem
An old cliche
Young Writers

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Some lovely touches here - I particularly like the image of gold collecting beneath nails - a strong piece.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Wonderful - and (again) also the image!

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Agree with insert and ps here, the central image of gold is so strong. Are there some parts you don't need - like 'over every surface'. Insert will tell you I like to be obtuse to the point of obscurity so feel free to ignore!