Yvonne

This new relationship was everything Barry Elkin had ever wanted.
All his life he'd had delusions of being a playboy. In his younger days
he had come close to meeting those aspirations. In fact, everything was
going really well until he picked up with that silly bitch who went and
got herself pregnant by him. That was it. The good life was gone: No
more flash dressing or gold jewellery. No more fast women or flash cars
(in reality, no women or car at all). But all that had changed now.
Yvonne was giving him back the life he had lost.

He straightened the small knot in his silk tie and adjusted the collar
of the sheepskin coat. The weight of the gold chain on his wrist gave
him a sense of confidence as he stretched out to place his glass on the
counter, handy for a refill. In his left hand he fingered a crisp new
ten pound note; just one of the five Yvonne had rewarded him with for
being such a stud.
Yes, life was indeed sweet. He felt like a movie star. Not any old
movie star, one of those from the pornographic videos Yvonne and he had
watched together. His sexual drive had always been well above average.
Something, which, because of Doreen's lack of interest and imagination,
had caused him a considerable amount of frustration over the years. For
as long as he could remember, on the rare occasions they ever got it
together, sex with Doreen had been nothing more than a chore.

Three kids and fifteen years on and what had he got to show? Nothing!
Just tedium, debt and having to watch her get older and fatter - that's
what his life had become.

Now, with Yvonne, his only limitation was his imagination. She was game
for anything. But it wasn't just that; he could hold conversations with
her that had something other than the kids as a topic. Oh, he thought
the world of his kids; it was just Doreen twittering on incessantly
about them that drove him crazy.

With her outlook and the way she kept herself, it was hard to believe
that Yvonne was actually older than Doreen. Yes, everything in life had
suddenly become very rosy. The only fly in the ointment was Yvonne's
husband, Michael. But Barry had to confess to deriving a sort of
perverted pleasure from knowing Michael was sweating his bollocks off
in Saudi Arabia to earn the money for his wife to squander on her
lover. 'Lover!' - he liked the sound of that! All his life that's what
he'd aspired to be known as, a lover, a stud, a Casanova, 'The
Birmingham Gigolo'. Yes, he definitely liked that image.
Fifteen long years that silly bitch, Doreen, had taken out of his life.
Now he had something better, he was determined to make the best of it
for as long as he could.

One more pint would just put him in the mood to return to Yvonne's for
the afternoon session. The bar staff were busy with more than the usual
crowd in the Brown Eagle, but he was growing increasingly impatient to
be served. Rapping his gold sovereign ring on the counter top had
little effect in attracting attention. And, to make matters worse,
there was some big-mouthed bastard who'd just arrived at the smoke room
hatch, shouting the odds. Barry knew most of the locals in the Brown
Eagle but this face was new to him.
"Come on, Rita! I've been doing a dry 'un in Saudi for the last
eighteen months!"

The face's words caused the hairs to bristle on the back of Barry's
neck.

"Just a minute, Mick," the barmaid called back, "I've only got one pair
of 'ands."

"Shit!" Barry muttered to himself through clenched teeth. It had to be
too much of a coincidence. The coat. The fuckin' coat! It was too much
of a give-away! He shouldn't have borrowed it from the wardrobe. It was
too distinctive. Michael was sure to spot it was his. Yeah, but Yvonne
could have donated it to a charity shop and that's where Barry had got
it. No, that wouldn't work. Why would she be giving her husband's
clothes away? On the other hand, perhaps he was safe while he was
wearing it? Michael wouldn't want to get bloodstains on his own very
expensive coat.

So, Barry had his new life.

But, had it not been for Doreen, he would not have had a single visitor
to come and see him in hospital.