Buddha

Dark thoughts parade this here canvas of my soul. Can't understand
things sometimes.. life so hard like long nails of biting ice and
pain.

Memories of sacred bliss remind me of buddha like calm. Times when the
world shone with transcendental translucence.
When my hand reached out to it, and my body tingled with it. When all
things made sense and I knew what the great universal mind was.

Why do I forget? Why does the fog of ego swallow up the sunrise of
divine inspiration.

Stress overwhelming me at times, and the material structure holding me
in a mesh of time. So that I get caught up in the pain of longing. Like
those quails in the desert of Moses. Trapped it feels, food for the
Gods.

The smoke fills my lungs.. shouldn't concede... shouldn't do this...
no... but ah.. so sweet that hit.. that buzz. Suddenly I feel calm, I
look at my buddha carving sat serenely on the ground.

Why do I forget the simple beauty of you? As I gaze at your calm
knowing face. How long where you sat under that tree? Hands cupped in
silent candle flame gesture.

I talk to my friend about times we have shared.
Sat in old church graveyard, tripping. The world a surreal ethereal
plain. Esoteric knowledge preserved in the form of a chemical.

Old buildings tell us poetic history in their extra-sensory way. As
gravestone memories stand silent in the ground. Ghostly peace
surrounds, as we gaze into otherworld clarity.

Trees speak in their clairsentient way. Telepathic communication and
lord of the rings vibration. Old willow tree strong and bending in the
wind. And the wind reminds me of who I am. The whole eagle winged,
eagle eyed, sweetsadhappy mortal mystery.

And I gaze out of eye shaped windows of my house, as I stand here
waiting for the bus. Car chaos of noisy fumes, proclaim their insane
authority on tarmac roads. Ah! but oneday you will all be ghosts.

Then who will have the authority and where will be the tarmac?

Metal boxes, with evolved monkey faces. Families of faces, and lone
concentrated faces, two unhappy looking his and hers faces. Wheel
turning hands. Staring out at concrete paved world.

Chaos everywhere. Mobile phone frenzy, and busy busy money making of
restless white line communication. Woomph of the circle dancing rat
race. My head turns from side to side as each life zooms past...
woomph.

And I wonder does anyone ever stop during their busy day? Does anyone
ever stop and look up at the sky. Does anyone ever stop from their
madness and look up at the sky? Does anyone ever stop and ask the
question why?

And I stand there gazing at chaos. The high speed ratrace. The fruit
machine illusion. The subliminal and visible confusion. And suddenly I
am calm. I am at the centre of it, hands cupped in candle flame
gesture. The buddha.

Ego and humility have become one. They walk in the middle, balanced.
Weaved together, they sing the same song. Like Yin and Yang. But how
come?

Both ego and humility hold this pen.

" Who are you ego?" I ask.

" Why I am you.." ego says.

" Who are you humility?" I ask.

" I am you.." humility says.

" Who are you Buddha?" I ask.

" I have always been you. Always been there, in the still centre of
everything. Climb down from your illusions. Your dream of anxious
stress mountains. Un-lock your lotus flower within and deep inside you
will find me."

Holding meditation beads in hand
"Om mani pedme hung..."
I chant.
"Om mani pedme hung.."

Ben stares at me wondering what is meaning of my chant... ears pricked
in canine curiosity.