Dream of Aslan

When I was eight, I dreamt I was falling from the highest diving
board at my school's swimming pool. As I was falling in slow motion, I
heard Aslan's voice whispering in my ear.
He said that if I shouted out his name, if I really believed, then he
would save me and I would go to Narnia through the wardrobe.
When I was ten, my mother took me to a culture center to watch a movie
about a japanese girl. She was dying of cancer due to the Nagasaki
atomic bomb.
One day, a little boy told her that if she made 1000 paper birds, she
would overcome her illness and live a long, happy life.
When I was 16, I believed that I could win the heart of my crush by
writing his name down 1000 times. I only made it as far as 560. And
when I dreamt of him, I tried to call out his name, but my voice was
always hoarse.
The Nagasaki girl died before she completed the 1000 paper machees.
And my crush never approached me.
I wonder, if I had reached the 1000 times, would my dream have come
true?
Would the girl have conquered her cancer too? Is Fate so easily
manipulated, that all you have to do is believe in your dream for it to
come true?

In my dream, even as an eight-year old, I felt Aslan was , in all his
brightness and glory, merely a child's image of God.
I felt he was saying 'Believe in me. And I will save you." Perhaps
Narnia is a symbol of Heaven.
But in this dream, I kept on falling. I cried out his name again and
again. "Aslan!" I screamed , so hard I woke my parents in the
neighbouring room.
But Aslan didn't appear.
And I fell into the pool of deep green water.
Next thing I knew I was standing on the edge of the pool, surrounded by
a crowd of strangers, and looking down into the deep end.
"What happened to her?" I asked.
"She died" they said.

Till this day, I can't grasp the meaning of that dream. What was it
trying to tell me?
That faith alone will not save me? That I'm not worthy of being saved?
That there is no God?

Or maybe it meant that no matter how deeply you believe, you are still
going to die.