My truly Liquid way of life

Alright love
I’m single
Yeah
Nimble
With my fingers
As they slither down your back
To that bit above the crack
In your fleshy arse
And I might make a pass
At you
Here where the house
Is hard
Other girls have gurned and pushed away
But at 1am on a Friday
Night
My pecks are tight
And I’m lowering my standards
Slightly
By trying with you
So give up the fight
And bring your dodgy looking mate
The one who squints through her makeup
Because it’s getting late
And Darryl’s tanked
You’ll like Darryl
See him dancing dangerous in his
Stainless white jumper, Burtons two for 1?
A bouncer tried to keep him out
Cos he lamped someone for fun
Final result was Bouncer nil, my mate Darryl 1
His jobs a 9 till 5 pile of shite
And he loves to read the Sun

Oi Darryl, Oi Darryl, Oi Darryl,
You wanker! Get your fat ass over here!
See I got mates love, I’m popular
And I’d spank yer later on tonight
Forget the vibrator yeah,
Later we’ll get outta here.
And you’ll see what I’m made of
Nah,
I can’t hear you love,
So I’ll move my hips in closer
Arms wrapped around you
You’re the bread and I’m your nightclub toaster
So what if most of the night I’ve been grinding on your mate?
Believe me
You’re options are looking nice
Cos she stopped necking her VK ice
And she’s sobered up a bit
Plus
I’ve not seen a girl like you before
You’re just so damn…wasted
That’s what I like
My trainers are Nike
And once you get a whiff
Of my Lynx effect
And thin imitation gold chain
I may not treat you with respect
But I’ll ride you just the same
You could be my bit of
Hot and wet
My bit of
Late night Labia
On hot
Kebab
Breathe
So keep them drinks down
And let’s stagger outta town
To where my bedroom is a mess
I’ll heave and squeeze you outta that Primark dress
With many a savage and drunken caress
And I can pass out after my success
Because bless you,
You’ve taken the edge off my knife
Until morning when you can piss off
While I continue to pursue
My truly Liquid way of life.