Teenage Complicity

By Gunnerson

Sun, 02 Oct 2011
  • 878 reads
6 comments
 

When my parents argue, I go to the car and listen to The Dark Side of The Moon at full volume.
I wait till the bit when the woman sings as if as she’s having a baby so that I can howl and wail with her, then I go back to the house.
It’s always the same.
I go into the living room and see Dad at his armchair reading a newspaper. The room’s deadly quiet.
He looks over the paper at me and smiles meekly but I can see he couldn’t care less. I stand there and wait for him to hide behind the paper.
He can’t even talk to his own son.
I go into the kitchen and see Mum. She’s busy doing something.
She turns around and sees me, so she stops what she’s doing and approaches me, feigning a smile full of love, but I can see through her.
She never learns and I’m sick of her excuses.

I see my parents for what they are; squabbling, hateful brats.
How can they expect me to look up to them when they treat each other with such contempt?
Mum lets me drive the car up the dirt-track and tells me never to tell Dad.
Dad buys me a beer in a pub and tells me never to tell Mum.
They only agree on one thing; that they want a divorce.
Oh, and that it’s not my fault.
I know what they’re up to.
Last week, Dad asked me how I’d feel if he and Mum divorced and I told him I couldn’t care less.
Then Mum told me that she’d only divorce Dad if I allowed her so I told her it was fine by me.
‘I just want you to be happy, Mum,’ I said.

I walk upstairs to my room, lie on my bed and imagine that I’m old enough to leave home and travel the world. I want only to be a rebel.
I light a cigarette, pretending I’m one of my heroes, but it tastes disgusting.
I carry on smoking, willing myself to break through the pain-barrier, and my head starts to swirl.
I feel sick but anything’s better than the way I really feel.

Certificate 12
Story
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Blighter's rock Really enjoyed all of this story and left out feeling of parent's arguing made you feel. So true in many lives. Even now. The way you explain it. Won't talk. One imagines marriage and children be the top's one have to be accepted both sides?.I never was. We made out of 6 go to Sunday school every sunday, come what may, rows parents impossible dinner not on time, go without by someone taking us by car. All six went up to age 14. What a life of rows and sickness. Drink and part broken heart and cigs; finished pop! and mum left after 30 years married life stay and bring us up,wnet off someoone late in life! lived till 80's. At twelve years old, I sat on coal scuttle cried! said I will never marry until one of you die,awful thing to say Navy they all drank? Nearly worked out that way,I used go little box room,play record player wind up, "Don't you rock me daddy oh! or "It takes a worried man" to sing a worried song. Rows destroy children and parents. Drink, money poverty! Kneel mnd pray for them and things, seemed hopeless then as a kid. And even now married, one can give and do all,and have but not really grown up! know my meaning dominator's must be in control mine re-tired health much younger, but off too his sports,snooker bowls, on a lovely day could gone out to-gether. I have look at large diary see when and when where out,no can't be bothered do all that. So hence my last poem, mood I was in? I never check his diary. Messages not passed on three give text and messages, never had myself argue have,not worth the hassle. Anway I think you could be an actor Richard Burton type looks. And poet! I posted comment gone, so tried again? sunny day. Think go for a stroll. Friend never turned up for Greek Dance do to watch with her in B/ton. So hot!hot! went in park big band, and took out tambourine, took a lot of nerve, asked as use all percussion, day centre music group. Only Laying at home, hence used a bit,and done bit of dance,another girl well built! came by, wanted borrow! know bit, ended up super day! Oh! damn photographer's about for all. Many things being played by Theatre Royal and Pavilion park, tea and lemon cake, lovely. Then Saxophone further in gardens, dropped £1 in recognised him! Playing "On the street where you live!. Nice suddenly mine was walking through, had get up catch him, incase came down to Greek Dancing, I said no as friend going, she never turned up! Have a good day! If I get out in god's air, quiet and better, beauty around. all the best julie xx

Submitted by oldpesky on
Good evening Richard, always good to see something new from you. At least I can understand what's going on, unlike some of the other stuff I've stumbled across today. Anyway, liked this little snippet of teen-life. Kind of took me back a few years.

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
"I feel sick but anything’s better than the way I really feel" That summed it up for me. A brilliant piece. I think a bit of self-pity is required when you're writing from a teenage perspective. Like Oldpesky this took me back, but not as far. Hope you enjoyed X-factor :)

 

Submitted by ScoZen on
Great stuff blighters. I liked this line, I can just see it as I read. "...I wait till the bit when the woman sings as if as she’s having a baby so that I can howl and wail with her..."
ScoZen

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
I have a slight lady-crush on Kelly Rowland myself, Richard! She brings a bit of heart to the show, though I do think they're really hamming it up this year, gets a little too dramatic for my liking at times. Anyway, enough about X Factor - I really enjoyed this! Could see it as the start of something longer (hint hint), and I loved the line ScoZen picked out, too, though these are my favourites - 'Mum lets me drive the car up the dirt-track and tells me never to tell Dad. Dad buys me a beer in a pub and tells me never to tell Mum.' - could relate to this completely. The whole piece is very tense and kinda disturbing - my kind of writing ;) Hope you're well and thanks for a great read :) Rachel xx

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
Yes, very good. I don't think there's very much that matches Pink Floyd at full volume. There used to be a story about them playing Hyde Park and the noise killing all the fish in the Serpentine. Anyway, it's probably what I would have done in the circumstance. Rob