Monologue

Monologue Script

The psychologist sits down in her chair and reaches out to hit an intercom.

Psychologist (Doc) ' Janet, could you send the next patient in, please.

The psychologist acts as if she sees someone open the door, walk to the empty seat, and sit down.

Doc ' Good morning, Melissa. Nice to finally meet you. I have been looking through the files you sent me and see that you have a history of mental illness and have been to numerous doctors throughout the country. May I ask what it is that brings you to me?

Melissa ' Well, Doc, I just wanted to talk. It's true that I have seen many doctors, and each had their own description and category to place me in. But I am not here to be diagnosed, and I hope you can just look at me without the blinders the others put on and simply listen to what I have to say. It has taken me a while to be able to come in here. I walk past your office every day on my way to work. Each and every time I stop, look up, and write down the number on your sign. The funny thing is, I throw it out each night when I get home. The other night, however, I kept it and put it by the phone. The next thing I know I am in your waiting room, anxiously waiting to get all of this off my chest. As you probably already know, I started to get depressed around thirteen years of age. Then I was diagnosed with depression. Around my seventeenth birthday I was diagnosed with Bi-polar 2. All of the different doctors I went to said different things. Not once was I diagnosed with the same thing. They put me on a million different drugs with all these crazy names such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Lithium, Effexor, Depakote, Xanex. From thirteen to nineteen my world was a blur. All of these doctors convinced me that I had some type of problem, and they drugged me so I couldn't deal with them myself. It's as if they wanted to turn me into a zombie, drudging thorough life, without ever truly overcoming my problems. It's as if I was robbed. Robbed of my own life! But now, now I feel better. I have been off the medication for a couple of years now. Not on the advice of my doctors, but by my own choice. I got sick of living a life where I only saw through little holes. On the drugs, I could never see the big picture. I could never solve my own problems. Every time I saw a problem coming on that I did not know how to cope with, I popped a pill. Sometimes two, sometimes three ' it all depended on how big I thought the problem was! But now I am better. I have learned to deal with my problems. I have learned to deal with all of the incidents that caused my problems in the first place. There was no major incident, just a lot of little ones that kept on building and building inside of me until I lost it. The people around me at the time weren't very supportive, so it was just a natural course of events that I got sent to the shrink and put on meds. I think it was easier for them to deal with if I had a problem rather than trying to talk to me and understand why I was turning out the way I was. I wasn't bad; I just had some unresolved issues that came out in fits of rage. But, like I said, I am better now. I am finally ready to get better, to talk it all out, and that is why I am here.

Doc ' Interesting, I must say. But how can you think you are cured? If you have only been off your meds for a couple of years, what makes you think that if you start encountering more and more problems that you aren't going to have a relapse? You have been diagnosed with some very serious problems, and I don't think you should start becoming your own doctor, making decisions based on knowledge it took us psychologists many years to acquire. Besides, maybe you are on a good streak right now. What would you do if you hit a really bad one? You must have come to my office for a reason. You said yourself that you pass by every day and look up to my windows. You obviously can't be completely cured or you would not be sitting there in the seat across from me, don't you think?

Melissa ' Now wait a minute! I thought you'd be different! I asked you to listen, just listen, and not make judgments based on what you have read about me! Why do you, you people, always do that? What makes you think you know more about me just because you went to college and got a degree? You don't know anything! I am cured! I don't need you, or anyone else for that matter! I just came in here to get this all off my chest. To let you shrinks know what I felt inside and how much of my own life you all took away from me! I am still young, and I have a lot of catching up to do, thanks to your kind. It makes me sad to think of all of the other kids you people see and diagnose as having this problem or that problem, drugging them up so they can't deal with their own lives, making them dependent on stuff they don't need. Sure, there are some people who truly do need the drugs in order to function every day, but what about all of the others that are misdiagnosed? What about those who are only missing some coping problems because no one ever taught them any, and they don't have anyone who wants to listen to them in order to sort all of those problems out. When I look back, my life really wasn't that bad, I was just told that it was. I was brainwashed into thinking that I had serious issues that could not be dealt with unless I took my meds. Well, that is simply untrue. I am not on some lucky streak right now. And I know I will hit a dark streak once again. It is the normal cycle of life for things to happen that way, not because it is my fault and I have a problem. Everyone goes through ups and downs, but that is not a bad thing. I think what really cured me was my outlook on things. Once I was able to realize that I had been convinced that I had a problem, I began to solve it myself. I stopped the medication and started to live life on my own, dealing with things as they came, and realizing the entire time that I CAN deal with it. I'm not the one with the problem. YOU are. You are the one who can't see the truth. You are the one who does not understand who she truly is. You are all the same. Each and every one of you tries to hide your own problems by listening to the problems of others. If you spent half of the time that you misdiagnose your patients on yourselves then you would realize who YOU truly are. I don't need you. I am fine. I am cured. I just came here today, because I finally realized that everything I think IS true, and I no longer need to rely on the advice of others. Maybe YOU can realize who you are, if you took the time to look. I'm sorry, but I must leave now, and I have this very strong feeling that I will never, ever see you, or anyone else like you again. Good-bye, and good luck.

The Psychologist looks stunned. She seems to not realize where she is or what has been going on.

Doc ' Melissa? Melissa, where did you go? Melissa? Oh, please don't leave me! How did this happen? What am I doing? Melissa, I am sorry, are you still there? (Silence for a few moments) I guess she is gone for good this time. Why didn't I see it before? How could I have been so foolish? Am I really so blind? I have been listening to other's people's problems in order to escape my own. The only difference is, all of those people, all of the problems, all of the diagnoses ' they have all been wrong! How could this happen? It is not all of them - all of the people in my mind; it is me. And only me! I am the one with the problems; I am the one who can't deal with reality. All day long I lock myself in this room and listen to other people, but they are not even real! They are just manifestations of my own fears being played out in a fantasyland, a make believe world I created. If I was the one who created it, then I am the one who can destroy it. I have to cure myself, as Melissa did. I have to overcome my own fears! But first . . . No I shouldn't . . . Well, maybe just once more . . .

The Psychologist reaches into he desk drawer, gets one of her pills, and takes it. She then reaches out to push the intercom button one more time.

Doc ' Janet, could you send the next patient in, please.